If ENFJ's are friendly to everyone, how do you know if an ENFJ actually wants to be friends?
I have a really hard time in general telling whether people like me and want to be friends. I'm always worried that I'm missing signals that they don't like me, and I worry that I'm coming off as needy and desperate and that I'll be embarrassing myself if I try to make friends when I'm not getting clear signals.
I've been having a particularly hard time of this with a co-worker and acquaintance/casual friend of mine who I'm pretty sure is an ENFJ. He's a great guy and I'd really like to be friends with him. But I don't know what the heck to think about what he thinks of me! He's so warm and friendly with me that sometimes I'm sure he must like me and be interested in being friends. But then I make some overtures (inviting him to do something) and he says he can't, and then he doesn't reach out to me to invite me anywhere in return, and although he is pretty busy that makes me wonder if he does like me or if he's just being a nice guy and I'm reading too much into it. He's generally really nice and friendly to everybody, so I could totally be misinterpreting him-- maybe he's definitely not interested in being friends (or maybe he's kind of neutral but if I keep pushing and seeming needy it'll turn him off to that ever happening.) But on the other hand, if we could be friends but he's just not going to go out of his way to get it started, then I don't want to miss out on that. (Or maybe he would want to be friends but thinks I'm interested in him romantically and is trying to avoid that? He's married and I'm in a long-term relationship, but he's mentioned things like 'Your boyfriend should come down to our work happy hours so we can meet him' a couple times and I wonder if that comes from him thinking I'm interested?)
So-- in your experience, how do you know if ENFJs want to be friends? Are they/you obvious about not wanting to be friends with someone, or do they/you try to let the person down easy and still act friendly and polite? Are they/you particularly put-off by clingy people who keep inviting them to do things, or are they/you more likely to be flattered? Have you ever had an experience where an ENFJ gets pursued for a friendship in a one-sided way but ultimately becomes real friends with the person? How the heck do I figure out what to do next?