Originally Posted by Von Mittendorf View Post
the OP's an IxFP, of course she doesn't want to hurt the INFJ's feelings, and that is a noble goal.
I wasn't going to jump to this conclusion. For all we know the INFJ is teetering on suicide, and the OP doesn't want to drive him over the edge. That's why I asked.
Originally Posted by Zrenn
@MrME: He’s my friend and plus another friend of mine kept telling me to stop hurting him (I also tried being mean to get him to stop liking me…but it had an opposite effect!) and now I’m lost.
If he's harboring feelings for you and he's obsessing, then he could very well see you on a pedestal. Realize that if he's crushing on you, he's already hurting. Your words may not convince him, and if so, you're going to have to hurt him very badly to get the message across. You have to force him to confront his feelings for you.
Speaking as an INFJ who's had his fair share of similar experiences, even finding a boy/girlfriend may not deter him. You're probably going to have to cut him off in order to get the message across. As long as you want to hang out with him, that will provide him with confirmation that you're still "a possibility." And as long as he has you on a pedestal, it will be difficult for him to see real opportunities with other people.
If you don't do this, eventually he will probably come around, but it may not be for a very, very long time ... and in the long run it'll be more painful for him to harbor this crush. In the long run, you could be doing him a great favor by cutting him off and forcing him to confront his feelings for you.
If you do decide to cut him off, it's all or nothing, no going back. If you go back, that will provide him with even stronger evidence that you're "a possibility."
Also realize that he may resent you, regardless of whether he breaks his crush now or in five more years.
*Please note this is advice from somebody who is not there nor knows the entire situation. If you need more personal advice, you might ask somebody else closer to the sitaution.