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  1. #31
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    There are how many of you having to team up on me to defend and justify the OPs implied cheating so clearly this is something you all feel very personal about defending however you think somebody would manage to see the husband, other party, the person being hurt in the situation.
    All I defend is her right not to be berated on this forum. I don't need to tag-team you to do it either. And her husband isn't the one posting, is he?

    Frankly I don't know why you assume she has cheated. "Bad judgement" as a euphemism could be anything from gambling, stealing, drug usage or practically any other vice you can think of. Any could destroy a marriage.

    You have leapt to a conclusion here re infidelity and it clearly strikes a nerve in you.

    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    Funny when you consider I've always owned my own business. But you're right, if I got a job I bet you would be my boss, I'm happy to see you don't take offense to that as my statement would have read the same with with a very different meaning you clearly couldn't see.
    I own my own business too btw - who in this thread doesn't "get it", doesn't see. I've noted your allusion to INFP's not being capable of understanding the meaning of posts - I hear you loud and clear. Personally, I know you just throw those statements in for your own personal amusement, to cause confusion and undermine confidence.

    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    That would be awesome if she'd done this (re berberella's post) and I would have gained new respect for you INFPs!
    Again, I know you are being deliberately provocative, on the one hand defending the husband/victim, then saying this. :rolli:

    I submit you are helping no one here, and in the process, making not even a single cogent point in this thread. I see no fellow NT's jumping to your rescue either. Oh, except for Costrin's gem: "INFP's suck".

    And, if you had investigated the OP's other post, you would have noted where she mentions she has been diagnosed as bipolar and has stopped taking her meds. Maybe that has more to do with her post than any 4 letter combo of assumption you've offered up.

  2. #32
    Member Hazle Weatherfield's Avatar
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    T-ENTP

    You are not trying to understand anything in anyone else's perspective other than your own (which if you did, you might be able to respect people more and maybe they'll respect you as well eventually) and are enforcing assumptive statements on everyone, something my INTJ friend said was very J, but I am starting to become convinced that this has nothing to do with type and nothing to do with defending anything about the OP. It has to do with those of us wanting to participate in an open discussion being tired of your stubbornly closed-minded statements.

  3. #33
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I see no fellow NT's jumping to your rescue either. Oh, except for Costrin's gem: "INFP's suck".
    Is it bad that I laughed when I read this?
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  4. #34
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    Is it bad that I laughed when I read this?
    No I'm glad you did

  5. #35
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    No I'm glad you did
    OH OK. I WOULDN'T WANT TO UPSET ANYONE, YAKNOW?
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  6. #36
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    Damage is done already!

  7. #37
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Outsider View Post
    Damage is done already!
    Shit!
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  8. #38
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
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    Okay so no NTs?

    Well I'm INTJ (since it seems types mean so much to our friend).

    Anywho, TucsonENTP you're being a douche.

    Your defining one type based on negative life experiences you've had.
    You're seeing the person as four letters, not who they really are.
    You'd probably disown your own child if they were INFP, gee.

    Summarized, you're not even using logic very well. You're logic is based upon your own emotions and your own opinions that have been developed through negative personal experiences. You probably get a lot of negative experiences if you act like this in real life.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  9. #39
    Member Hazle Weatherfield's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalMethod View Post
    Okay so no NTs?

    Well I'm INTJ (since it seems types mean so much to our friend).

    Anywho, TucsonENTP you're being a douche.

    Your defining one type based on negative life experiences you've had.
    You're seeing the person as four letters, not who they really are.
    You'd probably disown your own child if they were INFP, gee.

    Summarized, you're not even using logic very well. You're logic is based upon your own emotions and your own opinions that have been developed through negative personal experiences. You probably get a lot of negative experiences if you act like this in real life.
    Thanks SO much for this.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggling69Tigers View Post
    One of the things I have read about NFPs is that when they lack focus, they have a hard time maintaining long term relationships because they are always fantasizing about greener pastures.

    I have a great husband, whom I think is and ENFJ (maybe); I have no desire to leave our life together. However, I am constantly considering what it would be like if my life were different and I have on many occassions made bad judgement calls that, if it weren't for such a great husband, would have ruined my marriage.

    I recognize my lack of focus. I typically make these bad judgement calls when I don't have a "project" going that is keeping me occupied. But I can't seem to control/maintain a constant level of focus.

    That being said, is the fact that I need focus to keep from doing things I shouldn't mean that I am using these things as a distraction from a bigger problem?

    Does anyone else struggle with similar relationship issues?
    I read your post in the thread about "INFPs and Bipolar" and would conjecture that your bipolar symptoms and your relationship issues are related, perhaps stemming from the same issues. You said that you tend to throw yourself into projects with crazy excitement and then become extremely depressed when you're not working on something? My guess is that your "bad judgment calls" are a manifestation of that depression. Yes, they're a distraction - they're keeping you from having to deal with your depression and the underlying issues.

    NFPs may get more easily depressed when they lack focus, and then generalize that depression to other areas of their lives more readily than other types. I'm not sure, just throwing that possibility out there. But to generalize it so far that it taints things like a solid marriage - that really indicates something going on besides your MBTI type. Being an INFP may lead you to deal with issues in a certain way, but there are healthy ways that INFPs deal and unhealthy ways that they work through their stuff, and the evidence seems to point to the latter for you. Again, the main problem may not be your type so much as it is your underlying issues.

    The "greener pastures" thing is human to a certain extent, and perhaps INFP to a further extent, mainly because we INFPs are such idealists about the way things "should" be. It's hard for us to be content with what is. If you say that your marriage is great and you have no desire to leave it, then I would say that it's just your idealism beckoning you on to greener pastures if you hadn't mentioned this being a real problem, with "bad judgment calls," and if you hadn't mentioned your drastic mood swings. Those tell me that there's a lot more going on.

    I saw in the other thread that you're seeing a psychiatrist you're not happy with. First and foremost, I would recommend that you find a good therapist if you haven't already done so. Therapy can be at least as effective as medication. Finding a good therapist isn't easy; the first ones you try may not be a good fit, and you just have to keep looking for someone you mesh with. Second of all, can you see a different psychiatrist? All psychiatrists are not created equal and some are not very good at their jobs.

    Third, how much does your husband know about what's going on? You said he knew about the bad judgment calls. Does he know about the possible bipolar? About your ongoing problems? He needs to know.

    Re: TucsonENTP: If you are an INFP and you do or say anything that he does not like, he will attribute it to your type and decide that there's something fundamentally wrong with both your type and the action that he didn't like. I'm not sure why he has a little vendetta against INFPs. Haha, hell for Tucson would be a small, locked room with ten INFPs all complaining and commiserating about their problems. Everyone did a great job in this thread of telling him off, though.
    Fi>Ne>Te>Ti, and 3>7>8>4. WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

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