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  1. #21
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    Tuscon,
    Just a little judgemental are we?
    Maybe if you had waited a little bit all would have unfolded. Not all people lay their cards out on the table straight away. Your rant is a good example of why people don't.
    Another excellent point. The OP won't touch this thread with a 10 foot pole now, and any assistance (that could have be rendered in as limited an environment as a forum) has been compromised.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Another excellent point. The OP won't touch this thread with a 10 foot pole now, and any assistance (that could have be rendered in as limited an environment as a forum) has been compromised.
    That was a good point about INFPs you made earlier. Any type can be healthy and unhealthy and INFPs Fi, is emotional, but that doesn't mean its not just as good a function, as the other ones.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Hirsch63's Avatar
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    JT you put forth a sincere request for feedback. I am not an INFP, but I know that there are some helpful and insightful ones here who may and have answered you despite some distractions. Your issues seem to be pretty normal human issues irregardless of type. FWIW I offer a few comments I hope may help.

    One of the things I have read about NFPs is that when they lack focus, they have a hard time maintaining long term relationships because they are always fantasizing about greener pastures.

    This just seems like the human condition to me...in any relationship, romantic, professional, familial...I don't see how anyone who is at all reflective could ignore the possibility of "what if..." but when that distraction leads to self-destructive behaviour or the likelyhood of harming those we value, it is certainly worth exploring in conversation.

    I have a great husband, whom I think is and ENFJ (maybe); I have no desire to leave our life together. However, I am constantly considering what it would be like if my life were different and I have on many occassions made bad judgement calls that, if it weren't for such a great husband, would have ruined my marriage.

    It sounds like you may have found an understanding and mature partner who values your qualities and has had enough experience in life to know that any of us can suffer from shortcomings that may embarrass us. No need for you to detail your percieved misdeeds...I think a little reading between the lines is enough.

    I recognize my lack of focus. I typically make these bad judgement calls when I don't have a "project" going that is keeping me occupied. But I can't seem to control/maintain a constant level of focus.

    There may be factors here that go beyond type preferences....Are you physically healthy (i.e. how's your blood sugar? Are you being treated for any type of llness?)Would the experiences of others who test for INFP preferences lend helpful insight if you don't examine the possible health related aspects of your behaviour? There are enough dynamics beyond type that influence our actions and those we interact with. Relationship dynamics would seem to be more than the simple addition of two types sans any other external influences....we don't live in a type vacuum.

    That being said, is the fact that I need focus to keep from doing things I shouldn't mean that I am using these things as a distraction from a bigger problem?

    Your Husband may have much to give and the fact that you see this and value it and are reaching out to explore your motivations is a good sign. Have you discussed couples counselling with him? You both sound committed to preserving the partnership and this may be helpful...allowing you to get a beter perspective on what may underlie your distractions

    Does anyone else struggle with similar relationship issues?
    a
    Sure, I've experienced this sort of thing and like you have also felt curious and concerned about it. It sounds like you may be ahead of the curve in addressing it though, which is great! Hang in there.
    Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you a king

  4. #24
    Senior Member Hirsch63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    ... this is the most bothersome post I have read on MBTIc so far.
    Then you have not read very many quotes or you have a bothersome idea of what is bothersome. Of course based on your responses as a whole to the OP it appears that your reading comprehension may be "too weak".

    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    Honestly, this thread is just going to piss me off so I'm going to avoid it from here on out.
    Hey how's about avoiding the entire forum from here on out? You bring nothing useful to the table if these posts of yours are any example.

    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    If you have personal issues that need to be resolved, work them out on your clock not at the expense of others.
    I am (still) pretty sure that Haight and Filecabinet maintain this forum (or clock, if you will) and for better or worse they are benign enough to tolerate any number of patently offensive, self-centered and frankly stupid comments within it that could cetainly be read as wasteful of time, especially when weighed against those seeking a sincere dialouge rather than gratuitous, inconsiderate rants. Fortunately, this is counter-balaned by a fair number of helpful and productive forum members who have the resources (in every sense) to help keep this forum civil, constructive and an entertaining distraction.
    Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you a king

  5. #25
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    Is this for real or a joke? First off, there are no people with sensibilities reading this! You're in a iNtuitive dominant forum, we've all lost our minds in here.

    As for me having "issues", duh! Hello, McFly I'm an ENTP, you're pointing out the painfully obvious here!

    I will say you've put the exclamation point at the end of what I'm trying to say about INFPs. Only an INFP would get in here and question the validity of everybody haven taken the MBTI test as a defense.

    PS As an INFP you would completely fail to see the irony in that bold statement.
    Does it make a difference if I say that I agree with the what others have said in this thread?
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  6. #26
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I'd say the tendency to dream of greener pastures is a common INFP trait, but following through and cheating is not. At least, not in myself nor the INFPs I've known personally.

    Also, let's be clear that the INFPs in this thread are not condoning cheating. The arguments against Tucson are against the assumptions he is making simply because the poster is typed as 'INFP', and the judgements he makes based on those assumptions.

  7. #27
    Member Hazle Weatherfield's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    If you have personal issues that need to be resolved, work them out on your clock not at the expense of others.
    Well, I think Tucson dude might be gone and also that mostly everyone else still following is irritated by him so I needn't add any rants. But even so, I feel I must assert this. If topics like personal issues are not "appropriate" in this community, I don't see the purpose of it even existing. Isn't that why we're all here? Even our interest in our varying differences is a way in which we can better understand ourselves, not just others. If you have personal issues, you should feel safe and comfortable in sharing them and trust that you're not going to get a mouth full of thoughtless bigoted bitch-slapping.

  8. #28
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    I'm surprised, genuinelly by your post, it just seemed so much more judgemental on anothers personal choices than most ENTP's I've seen on the board.

    Maybe my sweeping judgement of ENTPs being better able to refrain from moralistic judgements was wrong.
    You INFPs are sooo touchy about anything related to self, it's amazing you can function. I don't care of this woman has designed a harness for herself to ride on the bellies of elephants all day long and makes a living selling the amazing footage on her freaksofnature website, I don't care of she smokes crack, has a fetish for 90 year old men or happens to be a prostitute!

    If this were an ENTP or any other NT/NF type I know of there would be a HUGE level of self reflection and understanding that had gone into the post prior to putting it up here. Mine would have read as follows:

    "I'm currently struggling very much so with my life and direction. I have a wonderful partner however I'm not able to balance maintaining a healthy relationship and my personal issues. I refuse to act on these thoughts I've had because I can't do that to another human being I love but it also leaves me feeling like I'm not being myself.

    This struggle is getting the best of me and I'm starting to feel very disappointed in myself for not being able to get a handle on it myself. I guess I already know the answer, this is unfair to both people involved and I should end this relationship before I do something stupid and damaging this him however that makes me feel like I'm a failure so any help would be wonderful"

    Do you see how that worked? Because I'm not Fi it was posted before causing damage to somebody that has entrusted me with their love?

    Now I understand you guys have a hard time thinking you could be the issue. There are how many of you having to team up on me to defend and justify the OPs implied cheating so clearly this is something you all feel very personal about defending however you think somebody would manage to see the husband, other party, the person being hurt in the situation. You think somebody would be able to point out that the OP has used poor judgement.

    I'd say the tendency to dream of greener pastures is a common INFP trait, but following through and cheating is not. At least, not in myself nor the INFPs I've known personally.

    Also, let's be clear that the INFPs in this thread are not condoning cheating. The arguments against Tucson are against the assumptions he is making simply because the poster is typed as 'INFP', and the judgements he makes based on those assumptions.
    Thank you Udog, I will only say that those assumptions are founded in knowing INFPs in real life and well frankly, threads like this.

    Edit: Actually, if we met IRL, I would probably be your boss.
    Funny when you consider I've always owned my own business. Never did have an INFP working for me though. But you're right, if I got a job I bet you would be my boss, I'm happy to see you don't take offense to that as my statement would have read the same with with a very different meaning you clearly couldn't see.

    Unless of course she skinned the family cat and fed it to him for dinner after shagging his friend and the milkman in a spit roast session
    I truly hope you were trying to be funny because this made me laugh for about 5 minutes! That would be awesome* if she'd done this and I would have gained new respect for you INFPs!

    *Provided of course it wasn't a cat but a baby as I know how many of you iNtuitives would take offense to somebody skinning a cat!

  9. #29
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    So uh, what was the point of coming in here and saying all of this again Tuscon? I don't get how knowing 3 unhealthy INFPs gives you a right to judge the millions of others in the world. Your posts are just steaming with stereotyping/personal attacks, most of which are just coming from your own disapproval of the three unhealthy ones in your life.

    If this continues you will just be like "HAHA feelers! They are irrational because they are reacting emotionally to a personal attack!" Then there will be an endless debate that no one can win, because they are fighting false claims and you are putting up false claims.

    So yeah, I'd appreciate seeing how this relates to all INFPs. I can also say that unhealthy INFPs are unreliable (anyone unhealthy is unreliable in some way usually). I sure as hell can't relate to what you are talking about here with the whole relationships thing and cheating, I would never cheat (it's a value of mine). I also make choices based on logic and how I feel, not just how I feel. There are some things in life that people simply HAVE to be logical about. The person who values feelings over logic in this situation fails as a human being.

    So yeah I can't relate to your negative stereotypes and personal attacks on INFPs, so uh. Yeah, justify that.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #30
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    You think somebody would be able to point out that the OP has used poor judgement.
    Didn't the OP do that herself when she wrote "bad judgement"?

    however you think somebody would manage to see the husband, other party, the person being hurt in the situation.
    If he was here, saying that he was so hurt by it, if he was the OP and he was clearly expressing his pain then I would defend him against any unfair attacks on his bad judgement.

    But he isn't here, he is there, with her, STILL with her, so maybe he is handling it better than you have assumed he is.





    I truly hope you were trying to be funny because this made me laugh for about 5 minutes! That would be awesome* if she'd done this and I would have gained new respect for you INFPs!

    *Provided of course it wasn't a cat but a baby as I know how many of you iNtuitives would take offense to somebody skinning a cat!
    That's just unecessary evil.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

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