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Thread: Fe oddness

  1. #41
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i just tend to make it up. Ni thinks it knows something, so my mouth opens and it kinda slaloms down the hill one word at a time. i think Ni and Ti are great at synthesizing information, but binging on forum threads the last month doesn't hurt. a lot of it has already been said in extremely intelligent ways that certainly bear regurgitation.

    also, what mbti type is kate bush? i need to know these things.
    On good days I think she's infp, but smiles like most istjs I know.

  2. #42
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    *Resurrects nearly month old topic because it's awesome*

    I'm just gonna talk about my experiences dealing with Fe, as far as I understand it within myself.

    I tell ya Fe can be a real chore. Fe is kind of like the water in a pool. FJ's want that water to remain placid unless waves could possible benefit others in the pool and bring them closer together. TP's are in the same pool and discover that they enjoy making waves and watching the FJ's hang on for dear life. They think that they can do this and get away with it and they can most of the time. ISFJ's, ESFJ's, and INFJ's care much too much about harmony to want to rock the boat in retort and instead gather their resources and attempt to recover from TP's stepping over the line. ENFJ's, though, are deadly sharks in this pool that'll bit your fucking head off if you disturb them by walking all over their values. I don't like to do it but when they make enough splashes their time the pool is done.

    As for non-Fe types, FP's are usually very considerate and the phrase "Do unto others and you would have them do unto you" seems to have been specifically tailored for them by an FJ. They know how shitty it is to have their personal views attacked and as a result they hold the values of others in higher regards, so as not to step on them.

    I think that TJ, especially IXTJ's, can be cute in their complete ignorance of Fe. Feeling isn't something that comes at all naturally to them but when they mature and interact with more people it's definitely something of an undertaking for them. It's those special rare moments where they give due consideration, much like appearance of astrological phenomenon in the night sky, that endears me to them.

    Saying or doing negative things for ENFJ's is kind of like attempting to project a wave that cancels out the one created by others. Unfortunately, being an In-Charge personality type, we aren't know for subtlety and it's my belief that acquiring a discerning mechanism of -Fe (as I like to call it) is key to being a healthy individual for us.

    I really enjoyed the article that was posted about over-dependence on the tertiary function that some unbalanced, immature individuals can have. It certainly rings true for me. I just didn't ever trust Ni to tell me when the coast was clear to just do stuff. Ni, as a result, could only see the negative, like a neglected teenager that spends way too much time in his room. I feel that now that Se is more than just Fe's bulldog that I'm a much more balanced individual.

    I used to care so much about being responsive to those around me, bending to their every whim. I mean, could you really be a good person without establishing eye-contact with those that were speaking too you or heed their every word? I know it may sound silly to non-FJ types but overcoming these misconceptions were part of my maturation process. I've come to realize that social situations run so much more smoothly when you just concentrate on your own shit and not worry what others think. It's so refreshing when I find myself having a conversation with someone I don't even know out on the town and not knowing how it all started!

    Lastly, I'd like to address the topic of FJ's appearing to be fake. This is the result of us taking our roles, whatever they may be, just a bit too seriously. We don't want to rock the boat of others around us and as a result we may never open up and tell people what we really think out of fear. It's a kind of paralysis of feeling for me when I can't open up and many of my relationships end up being based on small talk. I'm finding in recent months, though, that was nothing to fear in the first place and that opening up is the one true way that many others make connection with me. It's not all about being nice. If I hit a snag I now have the confidence to simply move on and I find that many other types share this same resiliency, which enables them to move on as well. It's all water under the bridge.

    I love you, Typology Central, and all that you've helped me achieve.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  3. #43
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    I tell ya Fe can be a real chore. Fe is kind of like the water in a pool. FJ's want that water to remain placid unless waves could possible benefit others in the pool and bring them closer together. TP's are in the same pool and discover that they enjoy making waves and watching the FJ's hang on for dear life. They think that they can do this and get away with it and they can most of the time. ISFJ's, ESFJ's, and INFJ's care much too much about harmony to want to rock the boat in retort and instead gather their resources and attempt to recover from TP's stepping over the line. ENFJ's, though, are deadly sharks in this pool that'll bit your fucking head off if you disturb them by walking all over their values. I don't like to do it but when they make enough splashes their time the pool is done.
    Dude.

    It sounds like you take people far too seriously. Maybe they just want you to lighten up a bit.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  4. #44
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    What article is this? I would love to read it!

    I appreciate the descriptions of the Fe induced requirement for eye contact and so on. I have basically concluded I am totally Fe blind. At no point had it ever occured to me that there were certain rules/procedures/SOPs for social interaction. I knew I was sort of not doing it correctly but didn't know why. Since this OP, I spent some time learning about Fe and watching it play out in my life. It drives me crazy, sorry sorry, but I trying to be really healthy and take the Fe perspective and appreciate why it is important that soceiety follows a particular set of standars, rituals, proceduures.

    Why it matters that my child wears shoes at the grocery store (he's 2)
    Why his shoes have to match.
    Why his hair has to be cut a certain way.
    Why it isnt okay for me to email the CEO and entire company when I take over an entire project to meet insane compressed deadlines
    Why wearing brown vans with pick shoelaces is not okay with a dress on a sunday when surrounded by churchgoers out to lunch
    Why I am supposed to be quiet during meetings and let vice presidents talk amongst themselves.
    Why I should make sure the shipping people understand thier place and make them do the work they should do for me.

    okay that's a short two week list. Each time I have stopped, appreciated why the Fe perspective has value in each situation, then promptly acted like I would have anyways, but appreciated that if everyone did these things the world might be a chaotic mess. I am left with a vague feeling of guilt of why is that I feel so special that I can violate the established social rules and be okay with it? What gives me that right? In general I don't want to hurt others yet will not totally disturbing the social equilibrium do that? I guess this is where Fi can drag you off into real trouble on crazed religious crusades and such mischief

    I love TypeC as well!!! As it makes my brain happy.

  5. #45
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    :Pets his Fe lovingly in a dark corner:

    Yessss, my preciousssssssssss

  6. #46
    Senior Mugwump Apollanaut's Avatar
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    Here's a list of Fe-related observations I recently posted on another thread, which might shed some more light on the value of this under-appreciated function:

    1. People respond more positively when you treat them with respect.
    2. Most people do not like to be constantly criticised.
    3. Many people are skilled at reading our moods.
    4. The manner in which we say something conveys as much information as the words themselves.
    5. You cannot reason with a person in the grip of a powerful emotion.
    6. Diplomacy may require us to soften our approach.
    7. Sometimes a white lie is more appropriate than telling the truth.
    8. Even Thinking types make mistakes, a sincere apology is a good way to undo any damage this may have caused.

    These are all examples of the type of information mature Extraverted Feeling takes into account when making its judgement calls.

    If we always ignore these factors, then our communications will not be heard in the way we intended, no matter how logical, rational or important we may believe them to be.
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

  7. #47
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    *Resurrects nearly month old topic because it's awesome*

    I'm just gonna talk about my experiences dealing with Fe, as far as I understand it within myself.

    I tell ya Fe can be a real chore. Fe is kind of like the water in a pool. FJ's want that water to remain placid unless waves could possible benefit others in the pool and bring them closer together. TP's are in the same pool and discover that they enjoy making waves and watching the FJ's hang on for dear life. They think that they can do this and get away with it and they can most of the time. ISFJ's, ESFJ's, and INFJ's care much too much about harmony to want to rock the boat in retort and instead gather their resources and attempt to recover from TP's stepping over the line. ENFJ's, though, are deadly sharks in this pool that'll bit your fucking head off if you disturb them by walking all over their values. I don't like to do it but when they make enough splashes their time the pool is done.

    As for non-Fe types, FP's are usually very considerate and the phrase "Do unto others and you would have them do unto you" seems to have been specifically tailored for them by an FJ. They know how shitty it is to have their personal views attacked and as a result they hold the values of others in higher regards, so as not to step on them.

    I think that TJ, especially IXTJ's, can be cute in their complete ignorance of Fe. Feeling isn't something that comes at all naturally to them but when they mature and interact with more people it's definitely something of an undertaking for them. It's those special rare moments where they give due consideration, much like appearance of astrological phenomenon in the night sky, that endears me to them.

    Saying or doing negative things for ENFJ's is kind of like attempting to project a wave that cancels out the one created by others. Unfortunately, being an In-Charge personality type, we aren't know for subtlety and it's my belief that acquiring a discerning mechanism of -Fe (as I like to call it) is key to being a healthy individual for us.

    I really enjoyed the article that was posted about over-dependence on the tertiary function that some unbalanced, immature individuals can have. It certainly rings true for me. I just didn't ever trust Ni to tell me when the coast was clear to just do stuff. Ni, as a result, could only see the negative, like a neglected teenager that spends way too much time in his room. I feel that now that Se is more than just Fe's bulldog that I'm a much more balanced individual.

    I used to care so much about being responsive to those around me, bending to their every whim. I mean, could you really be a good person without establishing eye-contact with those that were speaking too you or heed their every word? I know it may sound silly to non-FJ types but overcoming these misconceptions were part of my maturation process. I've come to realize that social situations run so much more smoothly when you just concentrate on your own shit and not worry what others think. It's so refreshing when I find myself having a conversation with someone I don't even know out on the town and not knowing how it all started!

    Lastly, I'd like to address the topic of FJ's appearing to be fake. This is the result of us taking our roles, whatever they may be, just a bit too seriously. We don't want to rock the boat of others around us and as a result we may never open up and tell people what we really think out of fear. It's a kind of paralysis of feeling for me when I can't open up and many of my relationships end up being based on small talk. I'm finding in recent months, though, that was nothing to fear in the first place and that opening up is the one true way that many others make connection with me. It's not all about being nice. If I hit a snag I now have the confidence to simply move on and I find that many other types share this same resiliency, which enables them to move on as well. It's all water under the bridge.
    As much as I intensely dislike any attempt by anyone ever to manage me, and ENFJs being primo exemplars of the event or person or thing that can fuck me over completely, and me therefore tending to jerk my knees vigorously at any scent whatsoever of that particular blood in the pool...

    I like what you wrote. There's benevolence in your dictatorship and I have to admire the insight that brings it, as much as I have to Unabomb the despotism.

    I especially liked the recognition imagery: Se as the bulldog.



    So-o-o-... nerd time... Sith or Jedi?

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