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Thread: Fe oddness

  1. #31
    Senior Mugwump Apollanaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    Holy shit, you are scaring me!! Have you ever read "the giver"? It is a very scary world much like you describe
    To be honest, that sort of world would scare the crap out of me as well! The trouble is it would be taken over by the ENFJs and the SFJs, who far outnumber us lovely INFJs. Then we'd all be living in Stepford Wives/Mary Kay Cosmetics-Land. Brrrr!
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

  2. #32
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    You can't. It's highly contagious and there's no known vaccine (Fi/Ti users be warned!)

    Anyway, most ENTPs I know (mainly my SO) overuse their tertiary Fe to the extreme!

    BTW, I LOVE your avatar picture. I myself used darkly dreaming Dexter as my avatar on another forum. [Notice my subtle(!) use of Fe here to worm my way into your good books]
    You flatter me, get me to look up a word I didn't know the meaning of (tertiary, though I have heard it many times), are with an ENTP, are an INFJ and like dark humor! You are now and forever in my good graces!

    I will say that my Fe is unused, 3rd function according to MBTI or not my Ti/Ne are in an even heat followed by Fi and Se with Fe bringing up the rear.

    As a side note, how's that ENTP working out for you?

  3. #33
    Senior Mugwump Apollanaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    As a side note, how's that ENTP working out for you?
    17 years and still trying to figure him out! At least he keeps me on my toes: there's never a dull moment when there's an ENTP in the house.
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

  4. #34
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    17 years and still trying to figure him out! At least he keeps me on my toes: there's never a dull moment when there's an ENTP in the house.
    sorry. I don't know anybody in a long term INFJ/ENTP relationship. Was it a little harder to get started? You can PM me if that's easier but I'm just wondering if you find it to be a positive growth oriented match? Maybe an easier, more free flowing exchange of information, understanding, communication. I don't know, just wondering your thoughts there.

  5. #35
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apollanaut View Post
    That's a fantastic description, and ties in well with my own experiences of the Ni/Fe dynamic as well as the differences between Fe users. Out of curiosity, how did you derive these ideas?
    i just tend to make it up. Ni thinks it knows something, so my mouth opens and it kinda slaloms down the hill one word at a time. i think Ni and Ti are great at synthesizing information, but binging on forum threads the last month doesn't hurt. a lot of it has already been said in extremely intelligent ways that certainly bear regurgitation.

    also, what mbti type is kate bush? i need to know these things.

  6. #36
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Roles can be confining, I feel confined by some of the roles I play (i.e. the happy worker bee) or feigning ignorance about things I'm not supposed to know about or have an opinion about because of what my position is. But then my second thought is what am I losing and what am I gaining. Is the role too heavy a burden? Is it even a burden at all? I guess I just don't have much of a problem of people having expecting me to play a certain part. The expectation isn't necessarily a problem, it's fulfilling it that becomes the problem. I realistically don't try to fulfill every expectation someone has of me cause that's just crazy, but I do think I can fulfill reasonable expectations. Like being a responsible employee when I'm at work, or not throwing a stapler at my director's head when she's being stupid.
    Hello Fe. Responsible and authentic.

    But you know you're participating in a shared reality right? And just as you resist someone trying to make a reality for you, they're just as capable as resisting the reality you're trying to make. So then what do you do, battle each other to infinity and beyond?
    Yes. Oh indeed yes. In the case of Fe vs Fi, indeed, one does. Because, at its worst, the reality isn't shared. The physical world is shared, but when things get to their worst point, the valued world isn't. The values are located in different arenas.

    Or, in the particular case of ENFP vs ENFJ, Js provide closure and Ps provide openness. It's a dynamic designed to piss everyone off, or to liberate both sides.





  7. #37
    Senior Mugwump Apollanaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    also, what mbti type is kate bush? i need to know these things.
    Best guess: INFP. Waaay too introverted to be INFJ!
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

  8. #38
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    One difference that I've noticed between my ENFJ friend and I is that he tends to treat the people he's closest to really, really well but tends to shirk those he's not close to.. whereas I treat everyone mostly equally but less well than he treats his best friends. It might have to do with others' roles in his life versus some sort of obsessive need for personal integrity in mine.. dunno.

    He's also not exactly the most "normal" ENFJ that I know.. but.. at first I'd get irked when he'd tell me stories of how he treated certain other people, and he'd get irked when I couldn't trust him to not do the same to me.

    I hope I didn't phrase it such that it's offensive to Fe-doms or something, but it's just an observation that I've had.

  9. #39
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    One difference that I've noticed between my ENFJ friend and I is that he tends to treat the people he's closest to really, really well but tends to shirk those he's not close to.. whereas I treat everyone mostly equally but less well than he treats his best friends. It might have to do with others' roles in his life versus some sort of obsessive need for personal integrity in mine.. dunno.
    With my ISFJ friends, they tend to be "polite" with everyone, but the relationships are very regimented -- everyone is in different tiers, and the tier you are definitely determines the amount of warmth and time and whatever else you get. Usually tier placement is based on the Si perception of the world -- the social order they were raised with. Spouse and kids make up the first two tiers, then comes family, then various layers of friends and coworkers, etc. And if you're not in the top tiers, you won't get much time if any unless there is a practical need.

    (I tend to be much more broad in my approach with people; I've had to implement a little bit of the Tier Effect later in life because I realized that I didn't have enough time and energy to indulge everyone equally, but my general process is to invest in people who are open to investment and who invest in me regardless of what tier I could put them on. I also tend to be more adaptive to the situation, so I'm open to exploring new contacts. That might a more Ne influence -- exploring possibilities.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #40
    Member Antreus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apollanaut View Post
    Fe gets a bad press on this forum. I see all sorts of loaded, negative terms like "sneaky", "manipulative" and "insincere" linked to this important function. You sort of expect that from NT's, but NFPs should know better!

    How else are we supposed to make any sort of initial contact with a person without at least some idea of their social role? When well-developed, Fe recognises that of course a person is not rigidly defined by their social role, and that we all use multiple roles in our daily lives.

    However, Fe does need some familiar cues or stable points of reference if it is to stand a chance of achieving one of its deeper goals: to achieve a state of rapport with another person.

    Only when we have true rapport with someone can we begin to really understand and communicate with them. Rapport also allows us to share parts of ourselves with another person and is the basis of empathy and tolerance. In our cynical modern world, the initial attempts of anyone attempting to make contact using Fe are frequently misread as self-serving or manipulative.

    However, that person is actually putting a part of themself out there for others to see and respond to; an offering of the Self in the hope that others will accept their "gift" and thereby establish a mutually beneficial relationship. This act involves an element of vulnerability and risk. The offering may be spurned, rejected, ignored or (worst of all) insulted, which is one reason why FJ types get so upset when all their attempts at contact are continually rebuffed.

    Reflect on this: if it weren't for Extraverted Feeling, we wouldn't even have a "society" in the first place (or at least one which most people would want to be a part of)!

    Oh, I'm really on my soapbox now!

    Maybe it's time for all us underappreciated FJ types of the world to unite and rise up to create a better society. Imagine this: World Conquest not through war or violence, but by enforced politeness, good manners and mutual respect!
    I love Kate Bush too!
    His form has passed away, he has become a mirror: naught is there but the image of another's face.

    ( I ) 3%, ( N ) 59%, ( F ) 26%, ( J ) 16%

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