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  1. #11
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Lucky!!

    I wish I didn't want to have a kid, it would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier!!!

    Finding a suitable mate who would make both a great partner, and dad, is haaaaaaard!!!!

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #12
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    This is a question for ENFPs & INFPs that are totally single: How do you cope with NOT being in a relationship? Do you feel like you are constantly waiting to meet the next one or "the one"? Do you find every day to be painful like I do? What do you do to get through these trying times?
    In my least selfish moments, when would guess that I am at my INFP best, I feel ashamed that I am not with someone. Not because of how it makes me feel, or where it places me on a social ladder, but because if there is truly someone out there whose day I could brighten by being in their life, then I am depriving them of that happiness by not being with them. But I don't even feel confident in that because is that more tragic, or just egotistical to think that way...

    Never having really dated or been in a relationship, (I'm not sure these things have even existed as concepts in our society for at least a decade) has lead me to places of great pain in the past. To get through this, I have forgotten about these ideas completely, and just put them out of my mind. But, this is not a good situation as when these thoughts & feelings arise again, it is jarring and disconcerting psychologically & emotionally. And obviously this is not a path of growth...

    I would say it would be ideal to keep making connections with people, outside of the purposes of seeking someone to be with and dating. It would be ideal, but it is not what I have done. I hope to change this; I'm just not sure how it can be achieved...
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  3. #13
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
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    No kids for me. I don't think I'd make a very good mother.

    Yes, I can see how that just makes it even harder to find the right guy. Now you're not just thinking about yourself, but also the future kids as well. I've sometimes thought that I'll have a similar problem if I become really successful. Will need to date someone who is also high achieving, and who is a freak in bed, and a great guy to boot. Doesn't sound easy to find!
    Fi>Ne>Te>Ti, and 3>7>8>4. WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

  4. #14
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I wanna have lots of mini CzeCzes. The older I get, the more practical I try to be and figure out the timing of things. I thought I wanted a lot of kids, but not sure biologically how that can work out, so I could be happy with 1 child biologically. I'm also open to adoption.

    I used to worry that I would have to reach some kind of personal goal with myself and 'be the person I want to be' before I could have a child and be able to raise them correctly and give them a good life. Now, I don't know if such a threshold really exists. I would prefer to raise children with a partner.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #15
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    This is a question for ENFPs & INFPs that are totally single: How do you cope with NOT being in a relationship? Do you feel like you are constantly waiting to meet the next one or "the one"? Do you find every day to be painful like I do? What do you do to get through these trying times?
    I think for me it'll be more surprising to be in a relationship, too under adjusted, confused, hopeless, given up trying, most likely too damaged, used to being alone often. In a way its a comfort zone plus I'd die a little to attract personalities like my family, which is all too possible.

    Sort of like a story I saw once of this really messed up gentle fellow, he was doing well yet couldn't ever see himself being with anyone due to his history. I'm drifting without any sense of pride, purpose or identity in anything I do. I once thought I could get a lift by being in a relationship, now that I have my social group, seems I'm too inaccessible and my motivation is too low to try, too useless to be loved I guess, too complicated.

    Lifes life, it goes at it goes.

  6. #16
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    For me, it feels somewhat awkward.. For the longest of time, I was always in LTRs.

    Now, I really have more time to reflect and more time to really 'think' about the type of partner I really see myself with.. not that I didn't listen to myself back then.. I guess I would say, the experiences gained really helps me to know what I truly want down to the nitty gritty.

    I love the feeling of independence. I love being able to do what I want, when I want to, without having to worry about another person. At the same time, I do miss having someone I call my male chum, and I wouldn't mind getting to know his background, life, family.. at times, it could get smothering when I feel I need my space.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Clover's Avatar
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    I am totally content with being single. I am a very self absorbed individual, I can't imagine dedicating myself to a relationship with someone... I am a super introvert, the most time I would like to spend with anyone would be an hour in bed. I don't like the idea of having to entertain some clingy person for affection, I'd rather be free. Maybe I haven't met the right person yet, but I'm not exactly scouring the planet in search of the perfect mate. I entertain myself with fantasy on occasion, but I am happy alone. I would hate to grow old and unappealing without a companion though...

  8. #18
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    socionic INFp talking:

    i am constantly waiting for the next romantic contact, because this is about the only kind of contact or extroverted behavior or pro active "leave the house for once-thing" that honestly interests me.

    on the other hand i am way past any painful yearning.

    not sure, if i have dissociated this, or if i am just centered in a healthy way.

    i don't think, a partner could save me from my inner deficits/weakness, as i used to, when i still had the yearning.
    but i still think, a partner could save me in 'practical' ways. there can not be LIVE, alone. spirit dies.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valhallahereicome View Post
    In fact, in a practical sense I'm really not ready to meet the right person yet. That would probably involve settling down in one spot at least, and being accountable to the person, and I'd prefer to travel a lot and experience some really crazy things without worrying about what anyone thinks.

    To get through these trying times? Know that there are SO many enjoyable things in life besides just finding "the one"! What do you enjoy doing? What are your dreams? What do you want to achieve? Pursue those things and you'll have a lot of fun and find real meaning, even though they have nothing to do with romantic love.

    I agree.

    Personally, I like being single. It's pure, unadulterated, freedom. I don't think the part of me that craves for independence, will ever die. Then again, I've never been in a relationship with someone I really love. But I don't think I'll ever be ready to be completely selfless.

  10. #20
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    No kids, thnx. And I didn't mind being single, though I never was single for long. I enjoyed just going with the flow. Loneliness is an annoying side-effect sometimes, but being single can also be very refreshing
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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