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  1. #91
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    It's not so bad once you get the hang of it.

  2. #92
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    I don't know if it is better that I didn't have any experience with relationships yet or worse. It could be better since I don't really know what I miss. I know only how it is to be infatuated or even in love with someone, but I never get together with her. It could be worse though since I tend to idealize how it could be, so I don't really know the problems of relationships either.

    So or so, I am getting a bit nervous that I am "still single" (you get to hear comments also when you didn't have a gf with 20) and I have some desire to be loved or love someone. But I am not forcing anything or specially "looking for a woman".

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by SecondBest View Post
    It's not so bad once you get the hang of it.
    True, it ain't. A lot easier than keeping up with the bills.

  4. #94
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    I've had enough breakups to know that it is stupid for my happiness to depend on the emotional consistency of another person! My life is very full and if a Really Good Woman comes along, that will be the icing on the cake!

  5. #95
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    I'll be honest, it sucks but it's a paradox we choose to be in. As much as I make fun of myself being single all the time, it's not like I haven't had the chance. The fact is that as a fluffy NF perfectionist, I'm not going to date someone just because they're interested, even if they're physically attractive. I had an ESFP girl show quite clearly that she was in to me. She's a good person, and looked nice too, but I just couldn't do it. I tried having convos with her before and we just didn't click. Conversations were often short and we'd have to consciously change the topic often. I honestly don't know why she liked me. I think a lot of people in my position would've taken the offer, and as much as I want(ed) a GF, I couldn't do it because I felt like I would be using her. Finding a GF for me is like waiting for a miracle to happen. To find a girl that I would fall head over heels for me and to feel the same way about me? I mean that's asking for a lot, but whatever, I'll wait.
    Chimera of Filth

    A gruesome beast with dripping flesh
    Clings to me as a sick fixture
    My throbbing heart it gnawed apart
    It stalks and hunts me through mirrors

  6. #96
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tortoise View Post
    I've had enough breakups to know that it is stupid for my happiness to depend on the emotional consistency of another person! My life is very full and if a Really Good Woman comes along, that will be the icing on the cake!
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  7. #97
    Senior Member pyramid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Lucky!!

    I wish I didn't want to have a kid, it would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier!!!

    Finding a suitable mate who would make both a great partner, and dad, is haaaaaaard!!!!

    Me too!!!

    It's difficult because 50% of the time I feel like I cope with being single better than anyone else (as an ENFP I have it made) -- I love and enjoy myself, I am never bored or lacking in honest, self-supportive mantras. The other 50% of the time I am the loneliest of extroverts, in eternal search of but not "looking for" (a manhunt has never been comfortably my style) *him*

    can we just run into each other all ready?!!!!

    I also am not handling what I am 99% sure is rejection very well; I do not compute in leave the person alone! as I'm sure he would prefer after declining my polite advances (ok, I go to see his band play frequently and crack jokes in his direction online). I want to flush this person from my mind but he will do things like cameo in my dreams, and isn't any less attractive the more I know of him. *sigh* I want to just leave the poor man alone. He is or is experimenting with being celibate. Only celibacy would turn an ENFP on. Sheesh.

    I also want to note that because I have been single most of my life I feel like I have honestly spent enough time that way and in later years have the strongest convictions about love.. this doesn't make my unrequited romantic moments any less solitary but at least it will be love at first sight in one way or another for me.
    PURE LOVE ENFP. IEE. 9w1 (0). Saggitarius. Jupiter! FIRE!

    ~It is only the benevolent man who is capable of liking or disliking other men.
    - Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
    ~Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.
    - Learn as though you would never be able to master it; hold it as though you would be in fear of losing it.

  8. #98
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    This is a false premise I've come to realise, its in the language, I was responding to my own false premise there for awhile I have to say.

    Coping sounds strange, almost like your coping after grief, coping after depression, coping after loss, coping after lack, coping after single, coping out of what exactly?
    Strange wouldn't you say?
    Almost like coping not because we are single but coping because we are experiencing a poverty in our personality. Whereby we are focusing all our energies on this coping, this lacking aspect where we think and feel because we are in this energy state where we are single, that has left such a mega impression on how society views this, how we have been thought to view this aspect of ourselves, there is an inadequacy in how we feel and think. And this inadequacy is our dissatisfaction with ourselves rather. Insofar as to say we are then experiencing negative synchronicity and projecting this coping, this lacking of ourselves outwardly and reinforcing that experience I feel.

    When you learn to change this negative vibrational state of being where you are without expectation of what you lack and start thinking and feeling good about yourself in abundantly, in a having and wanting energy state, you are fulfilled and your jug would refill with water cascading forward. And then your energy would become a kind of positive synchronicity where you focus towards accepting who we are. Becoming conscious, confident and self assured that coping and lacking are strange words. For they reinforce your views of what you don't have, instead of affirming your views of what you do have. And that is your individual selves, your freedoms, your passions, your joys, your personality, your creativity, your energy, your intrigue, your physicality, your being. How different attitudes would appear, fearless then towards enjoying life as a moment of experience rather than a moment in coping.

    Interesting.

  9. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    This is a question for ENFPs & INFPs that are totally single: How do you cope with NOT being in a relationship? Do you feel like you are constantly waiting to meet the next one or "the one"? Do you find every day to be painful like I do? What do you do to get through these trying times?
    I've been single all my life so far, so it's always been the same to me. Although sometimes I do feel like "Man, I wish I could see what it's like to be in a relationship.. what's it feel like to be totally close with someone I like?" and that can really suck when I go someplace surrounded by couples, reminding me about how I haven't been able to experience that yet.

    Yes.. I do feel like I'm always waiting for Someone like a longing... I think I am always looking for the right person, but just haven't found that person that I connect physically&mentally with yet that would also want to be with me. Maybe I'm just really picky.. and I don't really want to settle for anything less just to be in a relationship. If I start a relationship with someone, I want it to be meaningful and a growing/learning experience, instead of just casual dating.

    I try not to think about it too much (being single). Do things I enjoy on my own and have fun with my friends. Building close genuine friendships with people can be just as nice I guess? minus the physical bit. So I think that helps me cope with it since I can still get emotional closeness with some of my friends (although maybe not in the most intimate way). Still, it's better than nothing! ^^ Oh and I can experience some of the fluffy feelings through romantic dramas yay!

    Just kinda weird :p I Reallllyyy would Like to be in a relationship, but it has to be with the right person.. so I rather wait.

  10. #100
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    Smile Ditto!

    In reference to post # 55:

    I am an INFP and I go to a Christian college that teases about a "ring by spring!" Perhaps we are in the same one! Are you in Pennsylvania? I am currently a sophomore. I have never dated anyone either... Haha. I think that we have identical stories here. I have to continually be surrendering my lack of dating to God! Keep persevering! The Lord knows you and formed you.

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