User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 35

  1. #1
    Senior Member ColonelGadaafi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    Si
    Socionics
    ESTP
    Posts
    774

    Default How to appeal to an INFP female?

    Yes, it's odd right? an esfp asking for dating tips.

    Anyhow, there is a certain girl in school that i like very much, though i haven't dared approach, yet. Having observed her from distance, i suspect she is INFP(perhaps ISFP, definitly a Fi dominant).

    There is this sincerity in her presence, which arouses confusing feelings inside. I can only describe as a immense liking.

    I've mustered the courage to take a iniative, but the problem is i dont know how to approach her. Ive got no idea how INFP's percieve people and situations, and how they take in impressions.

    Any advice is welcome.
    "Where can you flee? What road will you use to escape us? Our horses are swift, our arrows sharp, our swords like thunderbolts, our hearts as hard as the mountains, our soldiers as numerous as the sand. Fortresses will not detain us, nor arms stop us. Your prayers to God will not avail against us. We are not moved by tears nor touched by lamentations."

  2. #2
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    7,004

    Default

    Prove that you're a good person. Prove that you're interesting. Don't be overly annoying. Other than that don't worry, INFPs are very accepting people, and the rest is up to you to accept us. I can't say anything specific because we all have very specific values and pet peeves that you will need to be told about/figure out.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #3
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Posts
    6,885

    Default

    Yeah, whatever you do, never say this:

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post


    *shakes head and mutters* INFPs...
    ...even in jest...
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  4. #4
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    7,004

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Yeah, whatever you do, never say this:

    -quote-

    ...even in jest...
    I usually take offense to that kind of flirting. That might just be me though. Victor didn't react that well though lol.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #5
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Posts
    6,885

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I usually take offense to that kind of flirting. That might just be me though. Victor didn't react that well though lol.
    LOL I wasn't trying to flirt, just kid around - that's my way of offering an olive branch...He seemed quite dismayed, however, so I *wouldn't* suggest that approach...
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  6. #6
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    LII
    Posts
    2,320

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Yeah, whatever you do, never say this:



    ...even in jest...
    *shakes head and mutters* ENFPs...

    Quote Originally Posted by Introverted-esfp View Post

    Any advice is welcome.
    Just talk to her. Be yourself. Don't try a facade, they'll pick up on it immediately. They like sincerity.

    And stuff.....
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  7. #7
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    8,193

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Prove that you're a good person. Prove that you're interesting. Don't be overly annoying. Other than that don't worry, INFPs are very accepting people, and the rest is up to you to accept us. I can't say anything specific because we all have very specific values and pet peeves that you will need to be told about/figure out.
    Crap.



  8. #8
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Oh man, I was so shy in school, completely clueless about anyone even liking me at all!

    If you make eye contract, and she looks away fast, it's likely that she is clueless & shy too. Just be friendly and her confidence will build over time, and she may even approach you then!

    Plus, I would suggest doing something small and helpful to get her attention first. Hold a door open for her. Something thoughtful and appropriate to the situation.

    Take note of what gets her talking, gets her animated in class. Make an intelligent contribution to the topic when relevant.

    FYI, if you like wrestling, it may be tough for you to get this girl. Otherwise, be your naturally charming ESFP self (oh, and I know you can be flirty and fun for sure!)

    Good luck!

  9. #9
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    I guess this is more for when you get into a budding relationship with one.. but some of it should also apply for snagging one..

    Show her that actually care about her and her interests. Respect the fact that she's going to be humble and that you might have to pry some information out of her in creative ways. Stave off the extroversion and listen to her. Show her a bit about your world--your own hobbies and interests--that is, get her out of the house

    Also, be prepared to take things really, really slowly

  10. #10
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    3w7
    Socionics
    ENTP
    Posts
    132

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    Just talk to her. Be yourself. Don't try a facade, they'll pick up on it immediately. They like sincerity.
    Yep. Quite true.

    Did you ever read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene? Very interesting book. There are several types of seducer and if I remember correctly, one of them was the "Mirror." You implement the mirror strategy by reflecting their qualities back at them. Because INFPs are so caught up in values, I think that the mirror strategy is particularly effective with them. If they see that you seem to hold the same values as they do, they will come to associate their beloved values with you.

    In other words, be really sincere as you described her. Show her your wisdom and depth. Draw her into deep conversations if you have a chance. Reflect back at her the passion that she loves within her own soul.

    Never, ever let her see your petty side. Let her think that you don't know how to be cruel, at least not intentionally.

    It's important to realize that as a "mirror," you're not just a smiling and nodding reflection. You share her values, but don't agree with everything she says. All girls appreciate an assertive, sometimes stubborn man.

    EDIT: Haha, just realized that there seems to be a horrible contradiction between my first line and the rest of what I wrote. When I read "facade," I thought of the person who tries to be more outgoing, more accomplished, more cool than they actually are. A facade is sort of a socially acceptable mask, and INFPs don't like those.

    By latching onto her values, you are still being manipulative to get what you want, but it's a type of manipulation that might actually work on an INFP. INFPs tend to prefer a guy with strong values over a successful social butterfly.
    Fi>Ne>Te>Ti, and 3>7>8>4. WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] I Don't Know How to Say No Any Better to an INFP, I Need Help!
    By Evolving Transparency in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 08-13-2015, 06:13 PM
  2. [INFP] how to make infp to not eat unhealthy food?
    By INTP in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 12-13-2010, 05:50 AM
  3. [INTJ] How to pull out female INTJ out of depression
    By Immaculate Cloud in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-03-2010, 10:53 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO