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  1. #11
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Introverted-esfp View Post
    Ive got no idea how INFP's percieve people and situations
    Fi

    and how they take in impressions.
    Ne.



    (I probably have those switched backwards in another one of my sensotard moments. :o )

    Maybe it's just my 4-ness talking, but I feel that INFPs have a strong sense of who they are that's not necessarily tied to just their values. I would try to connect to her on some level, either through a shared experience, a shared background, by noticing something about her that is unique (how she answered a question in class, how she is considerate of others, etc.) and mention how that made you notice her and that you'd like to get together for coffee or something similarly laid-back. That way, you're flattering her in a way that actually flatters her INFP-ness, is not trivial, and is more romantic without being too forward. Just my thoughts in a general sense; everyone's unique in their own way.
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  2. #12
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    oh and also don't just take her, be a gentleman about your advances or you might just scare her off

  3. #13
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    oh and also don't just take her, be a gentleman about your advances or you might just scare her off
    Heehee, not necessarily. Maybe other INFP ladies can contradict me here, but excessive gentlemanliness is boring. If you want to kiss me, kiss me; if you want to have sex, make a move, don't sit there talking and hope something happens.

    I would kind of try to find out about her romantic/sexual past in an oblique way. If she's dated around a bit, then she's probably more open than you might think. Take things too slowly and she could think you're not interested. I know, it's hard being the pursuer!
    Fi>Ne>Te>Ti, and 3>7>8>4. WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

  4. #14
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    It helps that you aren't an infp guy. You have no idea how hard it is to be seen as overly effeminate and how much I would give for some on-the-fly thinking skills.

  5. #15
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Look like this ---->

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #16
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valhallahereicome View Post
    Heehee, not necessarily. Maybe other INFP ladies can contradict me here, but excessive gentlemanliness is boring. If you want to kiss me, kiss me; if you want to have sex, make a move, don't sit there talking and hope something happens.
    Too right lol I'm really oblivious most of the time, I need extremely obvious clues that you're interested in me. I knew a guy for ages and ages, when he finally kissed me I was stunned because I honestly didn't think he was that interested, yet according to him he had been trying to get me to notice his interest for months and months lol (I actually think he was an INFP now that I think about it).

    Don't be nervous, just ask her out on a date, so that it's damn obvious you are interested.


    I would kind of try to find out about her romantic/sexual past in an oblique way. If she's dated around a bit, then she's probably more open than you might think. Take things too slowly and she could think you're not interested. I know, it's hard being the pursuer!
    Honestly I would disagree. I felt violated when I found out my ex husband researched my past like that, asking people about me, giving people OTHER people the chance to pass on chinese whispers that then needed to be explained by me.

    If there is one thing I can not stand, it is being ignored as the source of information on myself, if you want to know something about me, ask me directly and trust that I will be honest. Don't skulk about spying on me and taking for gospel things from others that are not even true.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  7. #17
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    It depends on how healthy the INFP is and if you want to date her or if you want a deep relationship with her.

    I would say stand out - be confident, charming, social, engage her in conversation and really listen to her. Make her feel confident and comfortable and safe. Be clear about your intentions. The more introverted she is, I think the more she will look favorably on these things.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    Just talk to her. Be yourself. Don't try a facade, they'll pick up on it immediately. They like sincerity.

    And stuff.....
    I knew one INFP that liked this, I also knew another that preferred the teasing/hard to get flirting more... and the other hated it...

    I'm not helping am I? lol

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valhallahereicome View Post
    Heehee, not necessarily. Maybe other INFP ladies can contradict me here, but excessive gentlemanliness is boring. If you want to kiss me, kiss me; if you want to have sex, make a move, don't sit there talking and hope something happens.

    I would kind of try to find out about her romantic/sexual past in an oblique way. If she's dated around a bit, then she's probably more open than you might think. Take things too slowly and she could think you're not interested. I know, it's hard being the pursuer!
    Hmm.. interesting! I wonder if she thinks like you but just doesn't show it.. now you've gotten me all scared

    The whole "having dated around" thing might be the difference.. right off, I got this vibe of innocence from her, and her overall demeanor and her responses to my advances seem to hammer it home that she's done very little dating in the past. I'll likely ask directly about it as she gets more comfortable, but I know that I need to watch my approach.

    I guess.. overall.. we can advise to just to tune in. Knowing what to do as far as advances are concerned ties back to listening to her, connecting to her, and taking a keen interest in her.

    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Honestly I would disagree. I felt violated when I found out my ex husband researched my past like that, asking people about me, giving people OTHER people the chance to pass on chinese whispers that then needed to be explained by me.

    If there is one thing I can not stand, it is being ignored as the source of information on myself, if you want to know something about me, ask me directly and trust that I will be honest. Don't skulk about spying on me and taking for gospel things from others that are not even true.
    I guess it depends on what "oblique" actually means. I doubt it's referring to spying or getting information out of other people.. probably more about being perceptive.. watching for clues and asking honest questions based upon those.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Honestly I would disagree. I felt violated when I found out my ex husband researched my past like that, asking people about me, giving people OTHER people the chance to pass on chinese whispers that then needed to be explained by me.

    If there is one thing I can not stand, it is being ignored as the source of information on myself, if you want to know something about me, ask me directly and trust that I will be honest. Don't skulk about spying on me and taking for gospel things from others that are not even true.
    Yeah that's true, other people aren't always the most accurate source of information when it comes to these things, and if she finds out she will likely think you're spying on her. But what I meant more was that it's good to glean facts from casual conversation with the girl herself. I don't have any spectacular tips on how to do that unfortunately, but then you are an ESFP so it shouldn't be too hard.

    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    Hmm.. interesting! I wonder if she thinks like you but just doesn't show it.. now you've gotten me all scared

    The whole "having dated around" thing might be the difference.. right off, I got this vibe of innocence from her, and her overall demeanor and her responses to my advances seem to hammer it home that she's done very little dating in the past. I'll likely ask directly about it as she gets more comfortable, but I know that I need to watch my approach.

    I guess.. overall.. we can advise to just to tune in. Knowing what to do as far as advances are concerned ties back to listening to her, connecting to her, and taking a keen interest in her.
    Haha, I definitely put out the innocence vibe to people, and can assure you that I am not innocent. I know, I'm making it more difficult! But yes, it's all about keeping your eye on this particular girl and slowly figuring her out.
    Fi>Ne>Te>Ti, and 3>7>8>4. WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

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