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  1. #1
    I'm a star. Kangirl's Avatar
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    Default NFs! Help prevent a murder!

    About to be murdered: my INFP boyfriend.

    We had a time set up at noon. He was 1 and a half hours late. He knew I would be mad (and yes, 1 and a half hours = very, very unhappy Kangirl) so he just hid from me all day and is now sending me Blackberries along the lines of "don't be mad" and "don't shout at me". No apologies, though. Sometimes I think this guy will melt a la the Wicked Witch if he utters the word "sorry", ever.

    Is this an INFP thing? Why can't he just own up to being a dick and say sorry? It would go a long way to assuaging my anger at his timekeeping. He just makes it worse acting like a damned weasel.

    *sharpens kitchen knives*
    "Only an irrational dumbass, would burn Jews." - Jaguar

    "please give concise answers in plain English" - request from Provoker

  2. #2
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    what are we suppose to do? I don't think we can actually prevent a murder just keep in the back of your mind that you might get caught might go to jail, and it will just be a big mess, is it even worth the trouble. I have wanted to murder people, like seriously had a plan, but I always backed out because I realized in the long run it just wouldn't be worth it. And I say sorry, so no I think that's just being a dick thing.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #3
    I'm a star. Kangirl's Avatar
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    what are we suppose to do?
    I dunno. Hmmm. Send him some special psychic "STOP BEING A GODDAMNED WEASEL" vibes?
    "Only an irrational dumbass, would burn Jews." - Jaguar

    "please give concise answers in plain English" - request from Provoker

  4. #4
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I'd say it a common INFP trait to not want to offend people, and he's probably doing his best to not make you mad. Him being THAT late is not a good thing though. He's probably too caught up in feeling guilty to remember to say sorry.

    When I get like this I say sorry a lot, I'll admit it. If I screw up the worst thing in the world that could happen to me at that moment is for the person I screwed up around to blow up on me or express their anger toward me. That's probably why I keep repeating that I'm sorry.

    Keep that in mind and make the best decision. I don't know your boyfriend or you well enough to give you any real advice. You most definitely should talk to him about it, but for god's sake (and his) don't blow up on him.

    Did he at least give you any reason for him being late? I mean... that's the least I'd do. I'd explain myself and then be like . Then I'd make it up to you in some way.

    I'll edit in or post anything else if I can think of something.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  5. #5
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    People who are late are just a pain in the ass...

    I say do it:

    Nahhh, seriously. My husband is notoriously late and he shouldn't be - he's an INTJ, sometimes I think he's an INTX... but yeah *shakes head* chronically late. You can't change him so you adapt accordingly by telling him to arrive at a time 30 minutes earlier or more than you plan.

    One night I came home really late without calling and my husband flipped the fuck out, almost called the police because I'm so damned reliable, he thought I got kidnapped. And when he came at me all in a panic and freaking out I said, "Now you know how it feels." Yeah, I can be brutal, wasn't proud of it, but there's a line that needs to be drawn...And INTJs are not exactly the most empathetic people - you need to throw them in cold water to wake their asses up.

    Now, INFPs, no bloody idea. If they're anything like me, they have their heads in the clouds half the time. But bloody hell, that's why god made something called a D-I-A-R-Y and a W-A-T-C-H. You know - the things that tell you what time it is....Plaster it to your forehead!!!!!!!!

    Awww, nah, all in good fun, but I hear ya. Pisses me off too. It's one of the few things I'm totally anal retentive about. I guess it 'goes against my values' the MBTI dude would analyze. I just says, "It pisses me off. How much of a retard do you have to be?"
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kangirl View Post
    I dunno. Hmmm. Send him some special psychic "STOP BEING A GODDAMNED WEASEL" vibes?
    have you told him this? I mean it might piss him off, but maybe it will make him see that he's being a weasel.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #7
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    You finna DIE!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    When you say, "Help prevent a murder!" I just can't help but go, "Do it!"

    I suppose what you could do is ask for an explanation. Maybe next time he says, "Don't be mad" turn right around and say, "Too late." (Provided you are already annoyed/mad/angry/whatever it is.)

    But I agree, when people do the whole "don't be mad" and "don't yell at me" thing before we've even spoken about what happened, all they are doing is trapping themselves by:

    1. Making me automatically assume the worst. (Because they're cowering.)
    2. Because I've assumed the worst, I'm halfway to annoyed.
    3. When they take forever in just coming out and saying what happened because they see that I'm somewhat annoyed, I end up snapping at them a bit out of frustration.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  9. #9
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Great thread title, Kangirl.

    A real eye-catcher.

  10. #10
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I find a lot of times people think "you are trying to make me feel guilty waaaa" so maybe he is into that. He already feels bad and is trying to avoid you making him feel guilty.

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