We had a time set up at noon. He was 1 and a half hours late. He knew I would be mad (and yes, 1 and a half hours = very, very unhappy Kangirl) so he just hid from me all day and is now sending me Blackberries along the lines of "don't be mad" and "don't shout at me". No apologies, though. Sometimes I think this guy will melt a la the Wicked Witch if he utters the word "sorry", ever.
Is this an INFP thing? Why can't he just own up to being a dick and say sorry? It would go a long way to assuaging my anger at his timekeeping. He just makes it worse acting like a damned weasel.
*sharpens kitchen knives*
I'm not sure that not being able to say sorry is an INFP thing.... but hiding from an ENTJ's wrath sure is.
Yeah... This too. I usually just want the confrontation over with, and I will usually say the things I need to say about whatever the confrontation is about while it goes on. If there is no confrontation then the feelings will linger in me and I will continue to feel guilty, which is a no go. I'll usually confront someone first if it gets to be too much, but if it's about a problem someone has about me then I'll wait.
How long have you been going out? And, is this a regular occurrence?
Almost 5 years and yes, it is a regular occurence. He is chronically late. This pisses me off. He is not chronically late to work. This pisses me off further.
I don't know, we just don't seem to be on the same wavelength about this kind of conflict. When he weasels around and avoids things/me it makes me angrier - a lot angrier than I initially feel. All I want is a genuine apology (he thinks explanations = apologies but no, they don't) and some attempt to make it up to me or make me feel better. I am willing and able to drop it if those 2 things are done. If I do confront him about it, his usual response is to get blow up and start shouting (I'm mad at him, so, he gets mad back is his reasoning).
Well at least when the neighbours see the blood and call the police I'll be able to tell them it's not my fault because some people on the internetz told me to do it.
Gah. I really want to kick someone in the shins. Him.
"Only an irrational dumbass, would burn Jews." - Jaguar
"please give concise answers in plain English" - request from Provoker
There comes a time with repeat offences when I feel I've lost my rights to use "sorry". So I don't use it (even though I know I should), and take the full consequences on the chin with repentant, opaque and slightly noble stoicism. Or I get pissed off at the person for being such a stickler for punctuality. Or I brood in my cave on the inextricable suckiness of me as demonstrated by my flagrant disregard for timeliness. Meditating on how things (eg relationships) fall apart and the centre doesn't hold. That sort of thing.
I think if you told him he could go some way towards making amends by simply apologizing he would be both surprised and pathetically relieved.
Now, now..murdering doesn't solve problems here. Just talk to him straight up- calmly though, and don't be mean! Because chances are he feels really bad about it and he is scared to confront the ENTJ wrath, so just be open, calm, and get to the bottom, and move on. It shouldn't be a huge deal..
Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?
I like tiltyred's solution. It will add far more spice to the relationship than murder.
Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.