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  1. #1
    Junior Member INF?2121's Avatar
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    Default Perhaps all is not lost

    I walk in the door and I know right away this isnt where I belong
    These people are beautiful, dressed to kill and with looks to die for
    I have been called handsome by some and even if my looks somehow compare...
    My personality doesn't...
    I just feel different. Like I am meant for something more in this world
    Than walking into an alcohol induced festival of princes and princesses
    I am tired of this existence...
    But sometimes I'm just a lonely boy who doesn't know which way to go
    I try to fit in...I really do...I work myself up to think I can...
    But then I walk in these environments...and I feel like a rebel without a cause
    Sunk in the depths of a frigid sea just trying to fit in with the other fishies...
    I fail...but then I realize...I am INFJ...and perhaps all is not lost.

  2. #2
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Oh, oh.

    I don't what to tell you... I assume you're pretty young, and have been introduced with this stuff a while ago. I'm sure it must've been sort of a revelation in one sense.

    Do you have friends?

    The thing is, unfortunately the attitude you pick up is one that will be in your way from seeing you're "not alone". Being a teenager itself is enough but coupled that with being an infj and not having a supportive group of / or a friend can be quite scary combination.

    But hey, the time you spend in school isn't gonna last forever, and people mature.

    You're probably feeling alienated and this whole "I'm different" will unfortunately cut you from everyone even more. But if you start taking that path, you'll end up being even more isolated and feed the original feeling.

    I'd suggest look for people that you like being with, and talk to them as much as possible - about everything. See how they'll respond and how they understand what you've got to say - you might be surprised. Learn about how they see things. Just, talk your ideas and thoughts as much as possible with them. It's true, being misunderstood is a fail on my side to explain myself clearly to some extent.

    There are lotsa people in this world that all have their unique talents and gifts to offer.
    As much as it would hurt to admit, you're not more unique than anyone else. You're unique in your own person and have your own talents and gifts - appreciate them, but see others' as well. And realize many people feel the same way, even you couldn't see it.

  3. #3
    Member Antreus's Avatar
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    15,000,000 ~< in the USA are INFJ's and male.

    I know what it is like to feel isolated. My best advice is you need to learn to be your own person and once you leave that environment you will be a step ahead of everyone else. You don't take things too seriously it is just that others do not consider the weight of their actions as heavily as you do at the depth at which you can feel about them. This is very much your empathy, however, do not get stuck in the dredges of empathy. Empathy has it's purpose, however, it cannot solve a lot of the problems you face. You have to find a balance to nurture your idealism with realism. Don't kill your inner child in the process, you must cultivate both within you.

    My advice-- go to Running Start and start your college education while your a Junior in highschool. This will expand your horizons and help you make the transition into college life a bit easier with the support of family still there for you.

    Please do not isolate yourself, you will find people. I did, even if I took some turns finding what I really wanted to do, rather go to school for. Sometimes people find me more than I find them.

  4. #4
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Don't try to force who you are out of you, either. As an INFJ it's hard to accept being different, since you also want to be perfect. At least you know about it and can try to understand. I've always wondered what was "wrong" with me. People tend to like me and I'm kinda like... uh ok but I totally don't fit in with you.

    Also I loved the "poem" (was it a poem?) I do understand that feeling, too well, really. Well except the INFJ part.

  5. #5
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    That you do not know which way to go does not mean it's the right thing to stop at the crossroads. You're far more likely to encounter someone interesting on the road than wait around for the perfect stranger to (never) come along.
    Not really.

  6. #6
    Junior Member INF?2121's Avatar
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    Thanks so much for the replies so far everyone. Sorry for being so vague in my post, I suppose I was just feeling a bit poetic and wasnt very clear about my age and what I'm doing with my life. I am actually a 21 year old college student at a state university studying psychology. I really love the major. I have a few scattered friends here and there, but I guess my heart has just been aching to find a group of people who I can kick it with frequently, not all the time, but I guess that whole "stability" aspect along with connecting with people on an intimate level have always appealed to me.

    Unfortunately, I guess I feel like sometimes I fantasize too much about how I expect these people to be so much like me and probably need to just find people who I can feel comfortable and myself around. I guess at the least I would like them to have a similar set of core values, but it seems like so many attractive people at my school just party and socialize alot. It leaves me with really mixed feelings.

    On one side, part of me says I should just kick back, party hard like the others and not take everything so seriously, another part of me says this party lifestyle isn't who I am and that I really want to reach out and grasp something more out of life at this stage in my development, but don't know where to turn in order to do that.

    Thank you all so much for commenting and I hope I get to learn a little bit more about some of you and keep the suggestions coming.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Dwigie's Avatar
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    How about you decide to be bold one day and just randomly detach from these people and speak alone with a person you've never talked to before?
    I'm sure you're not as "alone" as you think. People are very interesting once you get to know them, there's more to the surface. And even those people who seem to only party might not be only interested in partying.
    I think it's amazing how inhibited people are in private.Maybe there are people out there who will understand you but you should probably find a way to meet these people. So what other hobbies or clubs do you have/do outside of "partying"? Maybe people there can make you feel more comfortable?
    Sometimes I feel like I'm "on Mercury"-

  8. #8
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    let yourself make mistakes and you'll be better off than if you just reject everyone and everything bc they do not live up to your ideals. bc, while we're at it, you don't live up to your ideals either. let them both exist and see where they end up, sometimes it sucks but it's a necessary process for growth, articulation, maturity, etc.

    you're right- the feeling you absorb in a situation like that is not yours, but you need to allow your ideas and feelings to expand and soak up new experience/INFORMATION. it takes a long time to clarify what is important to you, what you want to chase, what you want to say and become. you need activity so that you can say something more complicated than the simple no of a negation.

    understand both the feelings and ideas of others. you won't feel so constricted- it will help set you free. it's disillusioning, but you synthesize your perspectives into a higher unity, understand more, and connect/communicate more easily with others.

    also- write everyday.

  9. #9
    Senior Member placebo's Avatar
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    I think you either work to change your situation, or wait it out. I kinda feel stuck in the same sort of situation so I don't have much I can say. It's incredibly easy to feel different and somewhat isolated. But maybe it's better not to try to 'fit in' over being yourself. I'm think there's a way to be yourself without alienating yourself at the same time. If it's really true that everyone is completely different from you, you'll maybe have to wait it out, but sometimes through the act of being yourself and not necessarily just trying to fit in, other people will find it easier to be themselves too. Just do what feels right to you. If you fight it too much because of certain other people it really screws you up.

  10. #10
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I pretty much got mutual understanding when I met my INFJ friend (now I can say he's the best friend). We both felt misunderstood and had some of the same philosophies, and it was like "ahhh" when we met. So, meet an INFP!

    EDIT: I forgot to add that we both have the same interests and stuff... No partying etc. It's a talking/go out and do things sometimes friendship.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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