Valhallahereicome
New member
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2009
- Messages
- 132
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 3w7
This has been bothering me a lot:
I want to like people, I really do. I try to look for the good in people and I love it when people open up and really show themselves.
So why do I immediately dislike the majority of the people I encounter?
I'm talking less about people I actually talk to than ones whom I overhear talking to each other. On a college campus, I overhear a lot of conversations and there are two things that bother me the most:
1) They are so TRIVIAL. No matter what the topic of conversation is, no one ever goes into real depth on it; it seems to be more of an excuse for a smiley, fake social interaction. No one ever says what they actually think, that is assuming that they do have deep thoughts on the matter.
2) The ACCENTS. This is southern California, and the Valley Girl accent proliferates. Then again, I recorded an interview the other day and listened to it afterward and heard MYSELF talking with a Valley Girl accent and using about 4 "like"s in a sentence. That was embarrassing. Guess I shouldn't judge based on accents.
These problems are almost universal and I find myself wanting to vigorously smash things after I listen to a few people talk like this. Less common but as bad or worse is 3) Meanspiritedness. I do understand that it's fun and bonding to be meanspirited with other people, but this is a tendency that should be fought against.
When I talk to someone, it's generally easier to enjoy the conversation. Still, I meet too many people that I just can't relate to. Shiny, smiley, fake people. Probably a fourth to a third of the people my age that I meet are like this. I want to dig down beneath the surface and find something real that I can appreciate in them, but it's hard to penetrate that far down.
So I end up thinking that there's something wrong with me - maybe if I were more approachable, people would be more genuine. Or maybe if I were able to appreciate people for who they are, I would like them better.
Reading this over, it sounds very INFP. Anyone else have thoughts?
I want to like people, I really do. I try to look for the good in people and I love it when people open up and really show themselves.
So why do I immediately dislike the majority of the people I encounter?
I'm talking less about people I actually talk to than ones whom I overhear talking to each other. On a college campus, I overhear a lot of conversations and there are two things that bother me the most:
1) They are so TRIVIAL. No matter what the topic of conversation is, no one ever goes into real depth on it; it seems to be more of an excuse for a smiley, fake social interaction. No one ever says what they actually think, that is assuming that they do have deep thoughts on the matter.
2) The ACCENTS. This is southern California, and the Valley Girl accent proliferates. Then again, I recorded an interview the other day and listened to it afterward and heard MYSELF talking with a Valley Girl accent and using about 4 "like"s in a sentence. That was embarrassing. Guess I shouldn't judge based on accents.
These problems are almost universal and I find myself wanting to vigorously smash things after I listen to a few people talk like this. Less common but as bad or worse is 3) Meanspiritedness. I do understand that it's fun and bonding to be meanspirited with other people, but this is a tendency that should be fought against.
When I talk to someone, it's generally easier to enjoy the conversation. Still, I meet too many people that I just can't relate to. Shiny, smiley, fake people. Probably a fourth to a third of the people my age that I meet are like this. I want to dig down beneath the surface and find something real that I can appreciate in them, but it's hard to penetrate that far down.
So I end up thinking that there's something wrong with me - maybe if I were more approachable, people would be more genuine. Or maybe if I were able to appreciate people for who they are, I would like them better.
Reading this over, it sounds very INFP. Anyone else have thoughts?