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  1. #1
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    Default ENFP parent and INFJ child

    I have read the usual posts on the ENFP and the INFJ or the INTJ being supposedly a match made in Heaven...

    I'd like to know more about mother-child interactions though. Any real life experiences?

    Potential sources of conflict as well as positive experiences and maybe if you have lived it, how the mother-child interaction evolved over time.

    What do you share and can share together.

    Issues of discipline, validation, etc. Tx.

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i'm an enfp with an infj mom...i could tell you about that...but i'm not sure that would help.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    i'm an enfp with an infj mom...i could tell you about that...but i'm not sure that would help.
    Why not? I'd love to get your input. I decided to learn about MBTI to help me better understand myself first and then learn the various type interactions and also how they are coloured by hierarchy, peer status, other siblings, etc.

    So yea, I'd love to hear your story. People's stories are always better than theories.
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  4. #4
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    well..i also have an infj best friend and there is something similar about the dynamic...it's some odd psychic connection that can't be described...but...with my mom it's strange because i feel like i have this huge drive to protect her...like i want to take care of her...and she's a strong independent person who doesn't need it and never has...we have a really close special bond and she really values my advice and i'm the one she comes to to discuss things...and we can talk for hours and do every time one of us calls...we have the same moral code...the same depth and view of the world...but i'm more blunt and sometimes jokey and sarcastic which i feel offends her sometimes...she's more sensitive than i am...she's also a lot less outwardly expressive...not a very affectionate person...and i can be...but we get each others jokes and enjoy each others company...and have an awesome adult relationship. i wasn't easy on her when i was younger and demanded way more liberty than she should've given me...she was a lax parent and i needed even more freedom...but she always knew what i was up to...she has eyes that peer into your soul...it's frightening.

    that probably doesn't really relate much at all sorry.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    well..i also have an infj best friend and there is something similar about the dynamic...it's some odd psychic connection that can't be described...but...with my mom it's strange because i feel like i have this huge drive to protect her...like i want to take care of her...and she's a strong independent person who doesn't need it and never has...we have a really close special bond and she really values my advice and i'm the one she comes to to discuss things...and we can talk for hours and do every time one of us calls...we have the same moral code...the same depth and view of the world...but i'm more blunt and sometimes jokey and sarcastic which i feel offends her sometimes...she's more sensitive than i am...she's also a lot less outwardly expressive...not a very affectionate person...and i can be...but we get each others jokes and enjoy each others company...and have an awesome adult relationship. i wasn't easy on her when i was younger and demanded way more liberty than she should've given me...she was a lax parent and i needed even more freedom...but she always knew what i was up to...she has eyes that peer into your soul...it's frightening.

    that probably doesn't really relate much at all sorry.

    That sounds pretty good to me just reversed. The parent will be the protective one. It should be a really good connection either way. The parent may need to try to be not so touchy if you notice that it really bothers them. ENFPs are really good at sensing how much touch is to much or to little and will adjust. I grew up to be a touchy huggy person that takes others into consideration. My moms(ENFP) Fi brought out my Fe and her Si rubbed off on me. I always thought of myself as different though because I was sensitive for an ISTP, especially a guy. It really made me not like most guys as I got older I probably would otherwise get along with because I could see how much they were jerks towards others. I didnt see it mentioned whether it was a boy or girl and mom or dad.

  6. #6
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    To Erin,

    on the contrary, it is all very interesting and makes me feel all warm inside reading your post... You are so lucky to have this awesome adult relationship with your mother. Thanks a whole lot. It has helped.

    You sound like a highly evolved ENFP.

  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    aww good and thanks.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    A few more questions. How does your best friend the INFJ know he/she is your best friend or one of your best friends? Do you say it? Or do you express it differently?

    Were you one day to have an INFJ child (hey, these genes might skip a generation and express themselves in your child!), how would YOU parent him or her? What pitfalls would you avoid? What would you do?

  9. #9
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    I'm an ENFP with a very naive INFJ roomate (she calls me mom). I've also had two INFJ children (one male one female) in my theatre group and in my group at the art camp I used to work for.

    INFJs have a tendency to wallow whenever they are sad. They can be difficult to communicate with when upset or depressed. I have found that when my INFJ roomate is upset about something, I am the only person in the house who can cheer her up. ENFPs have the great ability to champion others. To cheerlead them. INFJs thrive of this. Plenty ENFPs have also mastered the idea of tough love and by God do they need that. It is very important for INFJ children to feel unique and special and who better to make them feel that way than an ENFP mom?


    My boyfriend and I were discussing last night how INFJs are all precious, fragile butterflies and need to be kept in a glass jar for their own safety. I agree that INFJs need their Ni dream world to survive but as parents and friends it is our job to make that jar bigger and to stand behind them when they make trips outside of it.

    My INFJ wrote me a letter the day after I took her to the hospital telling me how important I was in her life and how thankful she was that I was there to take care of her. She sometimes has a hard time expressing her feelings but it comes more easily to her in writing. I send her positive affirmations via text message sometimes. It has worked wonders!
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  10. #10
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    Are all ENFPs the champions to INFJ kids who are still trying to figure out things in this complicated world?

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