Do other NF's or other INFJ's have this kind of problem with ISTJ's?
I have typed ( I could be wrong) three people I know IRL as ISTJ's. One is a relative, the second is a buddy's mother and the third one is a church leader.
I find that they can make those snide remarks that pass for jokes but which are thinly veiled criticisms. Of all the other MBTI types, aside from the obnoxiously loud ESFP's, I find this type, the ISTJ's the most irritating and I tend to stay away from them whenever possible. I can take them in small doses and usually I then play it cool and try not to show my innermost self.
It is not like I don't have a sense of humour. But they will say these things and smirk a bit or laugh to make it appear that they are joking (but the smile never reaches to the eyes) and in a word or a look, evaluate your socio-economic status or pass judgement on your worth as a person.
Mind you, I am a pretty good teacher in a tough subject and I integrate IT into my teaching but coming from the mouth of this lady, whose husband was a hotshot at the same subject decades back, I come far short. "It got to the point where to the pointed question, have you ever had a blank while explaining something?" She said it with enough of a smarmy smile. I replied, 'Lady, you're offending me'. I had that same question from another friend and it did not offend me and I replied calmly. BUT the way this lady asked it, it sounded like she was probing or calling into question my worth. 'How many of your pupils got good results?' or questions like that. This same lady sat up and took notice the day I got out of the BMW of my unk though...
It is annoying also when you find them in churches where they basically dare to boss even the pastor... And they have this rigid way of passing remarks again, as a joke, that make you feel, 'hey, what have I done to deserve this?' Plus they are blind as bats, protecting the very people you've intuited as the opportunists and power-hungry...And situations evolve where you feel like, 'people, where is your discernment?'
I find that I need to stay away from them for a long time. Then, suddenly, they appear more humane. 'Where have you been?' and they are almost bearable and one can talk to them. Still, give me an NT or an NF anyday! INTJ's or ENFP or INFPs rock.
Is it me who needs to work on getting a thicker skin? Any other NF's or INFJ or INFP or ENFP having lived this?
My buddy is an ENFP and I have seen other ENFP under ISTJ mothers or fathers get all miserable. Any pattern here...