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  1. #1
    Senior Member bronte's Avatar
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    Default this makes no bloody sense!

    Hi all
    Can somebody explain to me why when an accusation is levelled at me which is complete rubbish (so much so that when I told a couple of friends they fell about laughing at the thought) i still feel bad about it!!??
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    Maya Angelou

  2. #2
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Well..given that- maybe the person who accused you has a completely different stand point on a certain situation, or maybe they don't know what you know. Most false accusations result from a lack of understanding or knowledge of a situation, obviously..but this is all hypothetical, as I don't really know the details.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  3. #3
    Senior Member bronte's Avatar
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    I think the person was angry and is not very well and I became an easy target when I stepped in to try to help - so I can rationalise that and say to myself just back off and give them space - but I still find it hard to disengage from the emotional processs which go with this and instead see it for what it is - a bit of a rant by somebody who is quite vulnerable
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    Maya Angelou

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bronte View Post
    I think the person was angry and is not very well and I became an easy target when I stepped in to try to help - so I can rationalise that and say to myself just back off and give them space - but I still find it hard to disengage from the emotional processs which go with this and instead see it for what it is - a bit of a rant by somebody who is quite vulnerable
    Yeah, it probably was out of anger. What you said about trying to rationalize it, but it being hard is a strong F trait, I feel the same way. It's hard for us to think about it logially- ok the person was probably really mad and didn't mean it. F's function in a way where we automatically feel guilty, it's in our nature, and this happens to me a lot..it's definitely a little hard to deal with.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  5. #5
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    The princess feels the pea under layers upon layers of mattresses.

    Yes it's irrational, but emotions aren't based on logic. Sometimes I do the same... beat myself up over something trivial.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  6. #6
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I'm not sure. Did you get criticized a lot by one or both of your parents? It sounds like criticism makes you shift into a state of mind where you feel ashamed and worthless. If that's what it is, you can try watching the reaction happen and then just trying to make a good decision with what you have and understand. Maybe remove yourself, maybe argue, maybe go cry in a bathroom and emerge for another round of battle. Paying attention to the reaction, though, and how it messes with your perception of yourself and other is enough to diffuse its momentum.

  7. #7
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    You are highly empathic and you feel this persons discomfort. Even though you did nothing to provoke it you still are biologicaly programmed to feel the "pain" they feel to a certain extent and want to do something to resolve it.

    Ideally this means you save the whales, and little kittens and help those in need around you. However in this case your innate biological programming has tripped you up and made you "feel" this persons pain in a situation where you should not HAVE to feel it. They are causing thier own problem, yet becuase you had the slightest seed of that discomfort you feel guilt and pain over thier discomfort.

    Try to logically recognize what you feel, isolating it to a particular body location if possible, then "cut" that string and let that discomfort go.

    Hope thats helpful.

  8. #8
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    Fuhgeddaboudit.

  9. #9
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    You will get over it, I do this all the time. I just talk about how ridiculous it is more, it makes me feel better.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #10
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Grr. This happened to me at work recently, actually. i'm still infuriated and i'm not sure who started this bogus rumor based on nothing. I'm not really sad about it, just pissed off. Because someone's clearly after me but won't show their stupid face.

    (End rant.)

    Anyways, nothing I can do to help you except yell about it.

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