After a nasty argument with someone I really care about, I have to walk it off. I have to remove myself. I get accused of sulking, bearing a grudge or being a martyr which only makes me feel more marginalized. Like "calm down". Or "you're being dramatic".
I *must* be understood. And if I feel that I'm speaking to someone who doesn't care to hear me clearly, I get even more frustrated and off-balance. Being a primary F causes me to think that my feelings are less valid than other peoples', especially in a fight. Like I'm not being taken seriously.
My ENFP twin seems to be able to get out of an angry mood after a fight a LOT faster than me. I feel like I have to remove myself and let my feelings balance back out, and process what happened. That's when I'm usually told I'm sulking. I'm sort of just sitting there processing, not plotting ways to get the person back or nursing a bad attitude. I'd rather get it over with as soon as possible, but I seem to require X amount of time to settle down.
Is this an Fi vs. Fe difference? Do other NFJs need time to clear their heads, and if they don't get that time, feel resentful?
The intensity of my feelings can be almost choking sometimes.