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  1. #31
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    so true. i think of it less dominated by thoughts, which it probably isn't and you're probably right. but i can't even HEAR my own feelings without the bombast of the explosion echoing in my ears until i'm alone and allow the ringing to stop. and it's not even an explosion. it's just any energy that i perceive as being negative, hostile, hateful, or extremely hurtful to my ideals, self-image, beliefs, etc. anything i care deeply about and is SERIOUSLY important to me, there's the warning alarm sound and i just feel consumed by it and in-operational for a while. disillusionment is usually part of this, but i get it sorted eventually. i'm smart just sometimes slooooow when it comes to feelings, there's a lotta meaning to shift around and tweak.
    All of this. Very much agreed.

  2. #32
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    this girl i know thinks of this moment like an atom bomb. she has NO IDEA when it will come but she is terrified of it bc we had it happen once before. all of a sudden i can not joke my way out of it, the wind picks up, sheets of hail, cows on rooftops, etc.

    something hurts me and just gets magnified as it passes thru me and shoots out in all different directions. temperance is quite a virtue, they say.

  3. #33
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    my anger last about as long as a sparkler...it burns hot and fast and then it's over...i wish i could stay mad longer...it just requires effort to stay mad...it's like i just automatically revert to my happy state of mind.
    Yeah I think it's easier to be taken advantage of this way. I used to get really offended when people would take breathers after arguments. I finally got used to it. Now I understand it a little more.

  4. #34
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    this girl i know thinks of this moment like an atom bomb. she has NO IDEA when it will come but she is terrified of it bc we had it happen once before. all of a sudden i can not joke my way out of it, the wind picks up, sheets of hail, cows on rooftops, etc.

    something hurts me and just gets magnified as it passes thru me and shoots out in all different directions. temperance is quite a virtue, they say.
    This sounds extremely familiar.

    I'm always speaking of my Fe-Ni combination as a calm plain ravaged by storms that blow up out of nowhere and roll over into a sense of silence again. All you hear is the dripping of rain and a rumble in the distance.

  5. #35
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    depends on the situation, most of the time less then five minutes I'm like lalalala ooh lets go get some skittles! but their's been rare occasions where I've been angry for months and want to murder the person.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #36
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    depends on the situation, most of the time less then five minutes I'm like lalalala ooh lets go get some skittles! but their's been rare occasions where I've been angry for months and want to murder the person.
    You could be my sister. Oh to be an NFP.

  7. #37
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    i don't think I'd like being able to stay mad because the rare occasions i do it really effects me negativly I tend to not sleep and i have no appetite. I mean I can't see why anyone would want that. Also I tend to be very avoidant if I think someone's mad about something, I think this is because my mom's an NFJ and when she's mad its best to let her cool off. and in the past she'll be mad at someone and I'll be like I need this signed for tommorow and then she'll go off on me, and I'm like
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  8. #38
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    For clarification, though, how often do y'all get mad enough to have major blowouts with your friends/family? I'm not saying I never get mad or hurt, but I don't think I've had a major fight with anyone since I was a teenager. I guess I tend to avoid relationships where that's a possibility, I don't know. Seems like most of the time fires can be put out before they reach inferno proportions, no? I think it just makes me uncomfortable when someone has a big blowup out of nowhere and I don't see it coming and don't know that I did anything to provoke it.
    Something Witty

  9. #39
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Ok, so I'm seeing a theme of not being rushed through one's feelings until one has felt them return to a natural balance on their own. If I get pushed to "talk about it" too much/too early, I just explode into a ball of spines. And as cascade said, it's impossible to talk about it when I'm not entirely sure yet how I felt about what just happened. I also resent being pushed to talk because it feels like a demand to share/expose something of myself with someone who just hurt me.

    This goes for bad fights only. Not common tiffs.

    My mind seems to go blank and all I can think about is getting off alone to get things back online.

    I think maybe Ni has a big hand in this. It wants to sift through everything and make its connections before releasing the event.
    I haven't been on in a while but had to come to say this is me in a serious argument (as you said not common tiffs) The Ni needing to sift through everything...figure out what it all means..I need that before I can discuss how I feel. I feel that if I'm pushed I will most definitely not address what is really causing my reaction.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  10. #40
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    i don't think I'd like being able to stay mad
    I wish it were a choice. I can't believe how roiled by emotion I am, and I'm even talking about the good times, not just the bad. Whomever ultimately winds up with me had better like it hot because I can't control the Fe, just it's manifestations.

    My sister says she can watch the weather changing on my face even if I don't outwardly react.

    because the rare occasions i do it really effects me negativly I tend to not sleep and i have no appetite. I mean I can't see why anyone would want that.
    Negative emotions really bother LadyJaye, especially when prolonged. I hate to see her struggling with something dark and oppressive that won't resolve itself because her natural state is to be generally optimistic and open. We run into a real problem when she can't divest herself of a bad feeling or bad experience. It makes her feel sick and upended. I'm the brooder. She's not. And I don't like it when something pushes her from PopNFresh to Godzilla. She's very tough, but it ticks me off when anything or anyone intrudes on her good nature.

    Also I tend to be very avoidant if I think someone's mad about something, I think this is because my mom's an NFJ and when she's mad its best to let her cool off. and in the past she'll be mad at someone and I'll be like I need this signed for tommorow and then she'll go off on me, and I'm like
    I've been taken hostage by NFJ on a rampage many times in my life and it's pretty awful. And you'd think it would help *being* an NFJ, but it doesn't. It's just as bad for me as for anyone else.

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