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  1. #21
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Can't we just kiss and make up?
    If you offered to do that maybe you wouldn't be in that situation, just sayin.

  2. #22
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    If you offered to do that maybe you wouldn't be in that situation, just sayin.
    I always do, I'm not into festering boils of a bust up, I apologised over and over lol but she always needed time to work her anger out her own way and come back to make up after.

    The thing is, I've usually become more pissed off over the time it's taken to make up, and the cycle begins again.

    2 sides of 1 crazy coin.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  3. #23
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You could take her for an orange julius in the food court.
    just get two straws so your braces don't get caught when you inevitably get to your lady and the tramp make-out moment.

    it takes me a while. i need to get away from the person (object!) more so to free myself from their feelings than mine. they seep into me and i can't stop them. i feel how they feel so strongly and i know their view cannot encompass my own original feelings, and i get so frustrated it's like bottle up and explode. i just get tense and they start reflecting off of me and shooting out everywhere like stray bullets.

    i need to get away so i can know how i truly feel (in my silence), slowly and deliberately and without noise and corruption imagine them and how they truly feel, let it sift thru Ni, then i have a much much better chance to know what to do. as an infj Ti also helps unpack overlook details and analogies that help shed light. but if i'm really upset there's virtually no chance i'll be able to sleep that night without intoxicants.

  4. #24
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    I always do, I'm not into festering boils of a bust up, I apologised over and over lol but she always needed time to work her anger out her own way and come back to make up after.

    The thing is, I've usually become more pissed off over the time it's taken to make up, and the cycle begins again.

    2 sides of 1 crazy coin.
    No, that's not what I meant.

    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Can't we just kiss and make up?

  5. #25
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    No, that's not what I meant.
    *notes down how to win SH over after a bust up*
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  6. #26
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post

    just trying to gauge what type of "upset" we're talking about here and i do realise that we all have our own passions so of course what upsets you might not upset me, etc.
    I feel like I am contradicting myself by these various posts, because in general this emotional agitation might not even be terribly visible on the outside.

    It's more of a general 'how I am' thing -- just that in general, I need a lot of down time to process various social situations, or interpersonal dynamics, and it tends to happen more often in romantic relationship (go figure...the intimacy). It doesn't even take a 'fight' or my being emotionally hurt/irritated/angry for me to need this down time. It might just be a discussion about something, or a question posed to me, or whatever....and the discussion/question might disturb/confuse/alarm/catch me off guard in some way, and/or I simply don't know my thoughts on said question or subject yet, I might get some sort of internal emotional reaction (or maybe not), and will need some time to assess that reaction first, and compose my thoughts, etc -- THEN I'll be able to answer or discuss.

    (I recognize though that I'm probably now derailing this thread, and this isn't necessarily even an NFJ thing)
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  7. #27
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm relating to a LOT of what's being said here, and I do think there's some strange contradictory element to our brand of anger. It's not as if my getting up and walking off after the storm is a sign of abandonment or that I'm trying to put someone in their place.It's not about rejection. It's about salvaging my sanity and making sure what just happened is filed into the proper boxes. I want to be connected to my loved one again, but I have to be sure how I feel so I don't step back into something and then suddenly realize things aren't okay.

    All I know is if the wall of fire has gone up, it takes a bit for the smoke to clear.

  8. #28
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    *notes down how to win SH over after a bust up*
    What am I just some sort of school project that you have to write notes about!?

    I don't think we can talk for awhile, I need some time...

  9. #29
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    Yes I can relate to this. I usually need to sleep it over at least once. Usually I'll feel better when I wake up the next day.

  10. #30
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    It doesn't even take a 'fight' or my being emotionally hurt/irritated/angry for me to need this down time. It might just be a discussion about something, or a question posed to me, or whatever....and the discussion/question might disturb/confuse/alarm/catch me off guard in some way, and/or I simply don't know my thoughts on said question or subject yet, I might get some sort of internal emotional reaction (or maybe not), and will need some time to assess that reaction first, and compose my thoughts, etc -- THEN I'll be able to answer or discuss.

    (I recognize though that I'm probably now derailing this thread, and this isn't necessarily even an NFJ thing)
    so true. i think of it less dominated by thoughts, which it probably isn't and you're probably right. but i can't even HEAR my own feelings without the bombast of the explosion echoing in my ears until i'm alone and allow the ringing to stop. and it's not even an explosion. it's just any energy that i perceive as being negative, hostile, hateful, or extremely hurtful to my ideals, self-image, beliefs, etc. anything i care deeply about and is SERIOUSLY important to me, there's the warning alarm sound and i just feel consumed by it and in-operational for a while. disillusionment is usually part of this, but i get it sorted eventually. i'm smart just sometimes slooooow when it comes to feelings, there's a lotta meaning to shift around and tweak.

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