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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I find that N makes some people bad listeners because they 'intuit' their own implications to your words and leap to conclusions rather than actually listening to you. Maybe an N wouldn't be bothered by this but I am (especially when they're usually wrong...).

    Although most people are bad listeners anyway. Ns and Ss are probably bad listeners in different ways.
    I think intuiting their own implications applies more to NeTi instead of NeTe. If an ENFP doesnt get what your saying they will ask for clarification. Probably more Ti/Fi and Te/Fe that make people bad listeners. Te/Fe dominant because you may jump to action before understanding the underlying problem and Ti/Fi because when we are in Ti/Fi we block out the world and go on autopilot.

    edit: With this being said someone stressed will prefer to be in there dominant function, while when unstressed will spend more time in auxilary.

  2. #22
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    my own experience with enfp is that it will bounce along and not get bogged down in the details. it will hypothesize enough possible meanings and allow the incorrect ones to get weeded out over time.

    as an Ni i find that i am too often guessing and leaping to conclusions before they arrive, it's a state of expectancy and trying to jump to the end of the line as quickly as possible. yet at the same time i am able to often grasp what people mean in ways they can not fully articulate. i will try to anticipate them and set touchstones to see if we are on the same page or if they in fact mean something else.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Intuition picks up on nuances and it probably depends on introversion too as observation to listening to the conversation as opposed to high extraversion where talking and expressing ideas is more sought than listening.

  4. #24
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    Fe makes you a good listener to those who feel like they usually can not be themselves, can not confront their doubts, because they have to pretend to be strong. You cant produce the illusion that you feel with them, but you can make them recall who they are. You could make room for their Fi, by creating a friendly Fe space, albeit the space you create is meant for a different purpose: You want to make room so the vision of character becomes more clearly, especially if Ni is your neighbor function, you may rather dim down strong emotions, if they cause/express projections. What would be the most authentic move?

    Encouraging people to be authentic is often like leaving them alone, especially if they have no chance of getting close to an authentic vision about them selves. Therefore you are not so likely to get the title of an empath (Someone who makes people feel good). But a lot of people will be thankful that they can be themselves around you.
    OMG. This is so true. When I'm listening to someone, intuitively, I try to uplift them by allowing them to spill their guts at me, lighten up the mood by doing something silly, saying something funny at the expense of joking at myself so they crack up, then lastly, encouraging them to be alone on their own to contemplate. I also like my space to recuperate after such a deep therapeutic session. My goal is mostly to get them to be who they are, at heart, because that's the highest form of respect anyone deserves.

    There are people who I truly listen to, those who have a kind heart, those who I would want to invest my time in.

    I also listen to people through my intuition just by non-verbal cues and trying to correlate situational factors in their life that causes them to act the way they do. Sometimes, listening also means we try not to judge. I admit, I do subconsciously judge at first, only because as humans we do, but I try to negate it by truly understanding the root of their problem by associating what I feel that's really bothering them. This usually happens instantaneously.

    Crazy note: I once intuited 3 of my classmate's astrological signs in a row (I don't know much about astrological signs except for my own). They all freaked out. That's what I mean by NeFe.. it just 'clicks.' I just get a feel for people like that. Then again, we were all in an illustration class, buncha artists vibin' off on each other anyway..

  5. #25
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    you know it invalidates my writing, if an enfp (NeFi) relates to my writing about Fe.


    OMG. This is so true. When I'm listening to someone, intuitively, I try to uplift them by allowing them to spill their guts at me, lighten up the mood by doing something silly, saying something funny at the expense of joking at myself so they crack up, then lastly, encouraging them to be alone on their own to contemplate. I also like my space to recuperate after such a deep therapeutic session. My goal is mostly to get them to be who they are, at heart, because that's the highest form of respect anyone deserves.
    what you describe in the first paragraph sounds like the right thing to do, for every type, though.

    listen [...] by trying to correlate situational factors in their life that causes them to act the way they do.
    after all, every type tries to dissect the same reality, but takes a different perspective on it. maybe just the way you formulate this sentence is typical for Ne.

    i would also try to understand situational factors as well, but i don't think i am good at "projection" someone else's outer reality like a holodeck and ask myself: how would that make me feel. (seems to be the extroverted intuitive approach. or the cylon approach *g*)

    so if someone gets beaten and cries about it, I would initially have a very hard time understanding his feelings, because this scenario is determined by the outside and largely unrelated to character.

    i only start to understand people, when they communicate inner conflicts to me. i see how they have this specific super-ego over their head, and that bound of loyalty on their side and the contradiction in ideals and directives tears them apart. i can eventually tell what is important to them, intrinsically and ultimately, not practically right now. i see the distance and difference between unhealthy and healthy state but may be unable to have a realistic understanding of how to get from here to the ideal in a step by step way. this seems to be an introverted intuitive approach to me. luckily, i don't have to imagine or understand or know their concrete situation, in order to get this vision, because I could not do that very well.

  6. #26
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    I find that although listening comes pretty natural, I have to stop myself from leaping ahead in the convo as I sometimes know where people are going before they get there.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    in my head i am not where i am supposed to be, not necessarily because i am away, but because i try to take people apart. (NiFe)
    that's often not what they are doing (to themselves), when sharing.
    You're a people-watcher. Some people may be turned off by that and start to hold back, but I see the value in it.

  8. #28
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    I have horrible listening skills. the issue is not an issue actually. when a person tries to explain something to me or teach me or narrate something that happened to him/her i have the ability to quickly understand what he/she is trying to say. i can put the FULLS STOP to their story. i can tell what he is trying to say as if i always KNEW what he was gonna say. which makes people think that i have shared the same experience. which is not the case.

    at that particular moment i realize that i UNDERSTOOD him i loose all interest in the rest of the narration. this is not a conscious thing. it just happens. i can't stop myself.

    but anyway i understand and am usually able to come up with a solution. this solution part is also unconscious. i can't listen to people's sad stories just for listening sake. i JUST have to come up with a radical answer to tackle the issue.

  9. #29
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    Yes. The more iNtuitive you are, the more likely you are to be daydreaming when a person tries to talk to you. :P
    just plain darn

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