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  1. #51
    Junior Member step0nmi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I am so much like an ENFP, but the way we go about things is different. My goal in life is to be happy, nothing more, I just want to enjoy life. When life causes this happiness to fade, we will do what we know how to get it back to this point. For an ISTP we will simplify, we will try to become more efficient and it will not stop until we become finally find a way to enjoy life again. At some point we will say fuck it and just stop and let everything crash and start over. I think for an ENFP instead of trying to be more efficient you push to fix everything so you can relax and just be happy. The balance for an ENFP is that they do not rely on others so they will finally crash and have to reset. The good thing is that you are independent so when you crash you dont blame those around you for not doing enough to help you suceed. Its how we learn what we can handle and how far we can bend. This also causes us to be stronger as a person. I agree it sucks, but I can tell you when I crash is when I learn the most about myself.
    THIS IS SOO TRUE! I'm always crashing. Maybe that's what I'm learning right now? maybe I need to crash first in order to pick myself up.

    I never blame the people around me. I am at fault for EVERYTHING I do.

    I do like to do a lot of things, but it is not always for other people. I have actually learned to NOT do that these last couple of years. I use to do that. "I picked up for you honey!" and what-not and then he would be like "No, you picked up because you HAD to pick up...not for me, it was needed to be done" so, not to gloat or anything...but my husband is my personality type soul mate so he's taught me a LOT

    you know...I think what's happened in this thread is good for discussion wise. but, it's kind of two totally different topics. I mean, one part of it is a kid dealing with his parent and all I was trying to ask is: Is it the ENFP that is making me want to do everything? not really the cause and effect of how an ENFP goes about it with other folks. so sorry BlackCat but you really did derail the thread. but, I'm open for a bunch of discussions...I just couldn't relate cuz I am not a parent.
    It's not a small world, people just don't talk enough.

  2. #52
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Thread Topic A1:

    Quote Originally Posted by step0nmi View Post
    Lately I have been thinking about the fact that I feel like I have to "do it all" or be "everything" in my life. I'm not satisfied if I'm not being creative or working with my hands. I want to be a working woman and also take care of the house. I guess a lot of it has to do with looking so far into the future. I'm a college student and don't have a lot of time for myself or how to figure out the things that I "want" to do. I know this is the ENFP in me, but...

    Is this you?
    If this is, how do you deal with it?
    Change your username? People will think you're ENFJ.

    But seriously, generic advice is, pick a thing and do it well. AKA. practice generating completion. See something through to the end. See what it's like to generate closure. Knowing what closure looks like maybe then becomes a tool for judging the other things you're interested in too, you get to know which ones you want to see through to the end.

    Give or take 20 years, this learning process will last a lifetime.


    Thread Topic 1A:

    BlackCat, on the basis of one or two anecdotes, I'll go along with the assertion that your mom is ENFJ. (And you're her shadow. Lucky, lucky you.)

    Can I see an ENFP in a crisis over someone being late? Oh, sure. An ENFP calling someone a liar because the someone didn't keep his part of the ENFPs plan? Oh, totally. Yep. Especially if the ENFP were an ENFJ.

    So, Poki's going to be on the money for how to deal with her.


    Thread Sub-Topic 1Aa:

    A thing I've noticed for IXXX vs EXXX is the I side often feels the E side is doing less of something the I side thinks is important. With a sample of 2 persons, particularly, INFPs needle ENFPs over depth of and commitment to values. It's not actually that ENFPs have shallow values. It's that the INFP will be invested a lot more in being their value set. Or something like that.

    Also, with again a sample size of 2 persons, INFPs tend to think ENFJs are out of touch with themselves.

    But I've seen an INFP help an INFJ slow down and stop being so overbearing. It made the INFJ sad, but they like sad, and she seems that much more centered now, less pressuring others. Maybe there's hope for BlackCat's mom.

  3. #53

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    I'm going to be different here and answer the topic .

    I think these days I don't try to do it all as much, but in terms of dreams and long term intentions the amount I wish to achieve and the range or areas and directions I want to go, seems almost impossible to fulfill. Maybe at the moment I've realised that, and it is why I'm treading water.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by step0nmi View Post
    THIS IS SOO TRUE! I'm always crashing. Maybe that's what I'm learning right now? maybe I need to crash first in order to pick myself up.

    I never blame the people around me. I am at fault for EVERYTHING I do.

    I do like to do a lot of things, but it is not always for other people. I have actually learned to NOT do that these last couple of years. I use to do that. "I picked up for you honey!" and what-not and then he would be like "No, you picked up because you HAD to pick up...not for me, it was needed to be done" so, not to gloat or anything...but my husband is my personality type soul mate so he's taught me a LOT

    you know...I think what's happened in this thread is good for discussion wise. but, it's kind of two totally different topics. I mean, one part of it is a kid dealing with his parent and all I was trying to ask is: Is it the ENFP that is making me want to do everything? not really the cause and effect of how an ENFP goes about it with other folks. so sorry BlackCat but you really did derail the thread. but, I'm open for a bunch of discussions...I just couldn't relate cuz I am not a parent.
    I think its personality type, but cant explain why. My mom I believe is ENFP and she is always taking things on, she always has things that need to get done. Its like there are always 50 million projects to get done. Now days she uses night time to kinda just relax and play games online like bingo.

    Sorry, I helped take it off topic because you showed that you cared about his issues, probably should have took it to another thread.
    Im out, its been fun

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