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  1. #41
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Oh my gosh my step mom used to do this. Misunderstanding /= lies. Geez.

    It's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen played out. I was sure to tell her I thought that too. Since this happens all the time and I got sick of being falsely accused.

    Now that I think about it I see why she drives her twin sister insane. Her twin is an INFP and she basically gets the same treatment that I do, only it's been their entire lives (52 years I believe). I have always been able to totally sympathize with my aunt about my mom. It's funny, my mom ALWAYS asks my aunt to help her with something and my mom basically gets the same response from my aunt as she does me. She says "You guys are ASSHOLES I don't get why you hate me." Me and my aunt go when that gets said.

    So now since I think my mom is an ENFJ this thread is officially TOTALLY derailed.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    It's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen played out. I was sure to tell her I thought that too. Since this happens all the time and I got sick of being falsely accused.

    Now that I think about it I see why she drives her twin sister insane. Her twin is an INFP and she basically gets the same treatment that I do, only it's been their entire lives (52 years I believe). I have always been able to totally sympathize with my aunt about my mom. It's funny, my mom ALWAYS asks my aunt to help her with something and my mom basically gets the same response from my aunt as she does me. She says "You guys are ASSHOLES I don't get why you hate me." Me and my aunt go when that gets said.

    So now since I think my mom is an ENFJ this thread is officially TOTALLY derailed.
    I was gonna send the OP poster a message earlier "sorry for derailing your thread"
    Im out, its been fun

  3. #43
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    True that. I see ENFJ being much more the "support meeee" kind of person. And it pretty much happens how you explained it.
    really...hmmm...i wonder if my enfp sister really is an enfj like i first thought.

    she's kind of a clean freak and can be really bossy and way emotional...and i'm not like that at all.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #44
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    The parent didnt choose your type though. Some types dont get together very well, some types dont understand the other person. As a child gets older they need to learn to try to be flexible also. We dont teach how to understand other people or how to bend with them and see there weaknesses so how do you expect the types that are not naturally good at those things to all of a sudden be good just because they become a parent? The kid will rebel, they have lived with it to the point where they dont want to change at all. There are 2 sides here.
    Type is irrelevant. What matters only is the persons actions. If the person is a bad parent, then they are a bad parent, regardless of type. Some types get along better naturally, and some types conflict more naturally. A good parent will be able to handle this, if they can't then they aren't deserving of respect.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  5. #45
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    My twin brother is an INFP and he is completely cowed by our ENFJ mother. She actually convinced him to move in with my crazy ISTJ sister because she liked him more and it was his duty as her big brother to take care of her.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    Type is irrelevant. What matters only is the persons actions. If the person is a bad parent, then they are a bad parent, regardless of type. Some types get along better naturally, and some types conflict more naturally. A good parent will be able to handle this, if they can't then they aren't deserving of respect.
    Actions can be faked, actions can also be done with the intent to be returned, these people are doing it to get something in return. To me action is not important, it is the reason behind the action that matters. INTPs like to read into what people say, I like to read into peoples actions. If its sincere you could screw up all day long, and it means more than the person who faked it and did it right.

    You seem pretty set in your thinking so I am not gonna try and argue especially when the definition of "bad parent" is not a hard line, but is up for interpretation.
    Im out, its been fun

  7. #47
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Actions can be faked, actions can also be done with the intent to be returned, these people are doing it to get something in return.
    Yes, and?

    To me action is not important, it is the reason behind the action that matters. INTPs like to read into what people say, I like to read into peoples actions. If its sincere you could screw up all day long, and it means more than the person who faked it and did it right.
    I'll clarify a bit. First, I'm using respect in the sense of "I think your a worthy person in this area." So I could respect or not respect different aspects of the same person. I give respect if their effective in that area. So I would respect a parent if they were a good parent, which is correlated, but not necessarily caused by the intent to be a good parent. So if a person who had completely negative intentions ends being a good parent, then they can get my respect (although they wouldn't have my respect in "being able to realize their intentions"). And if a person who had good intent ends up failing as a parent, they wouldn't have my respect as a parent (but could possibly have my respect for effort, or something).

    You seem pretty set in your thinking so I am not gonna try and argue
    Well, I guess don't respond to this post then. Maybe others are interested, or maybe I'm just typing this for myself. That's ok though, I like doing this even if no one responds.

    especially when the definition of "bad parent" is not a hard line, but is up for interpretation.
    Yup, entirely subjective.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  8. #48
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Above all remember it is HARD to be a parent. It is hard to make the right choices and keep yourself out of the way with your children. As a teen it is easy to look at a parent and think that things are wrong or out of place when it might just be a parent trying to do the right thing.

    Being a "bad" parent is someone who doesn't care, most people try to be good parents. It is just difficult.

  9. #49
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    My parents must be lucky then. I'm a straight edge, so no drugs or alcohol or smoking. I am pretty self sufficient, cook for myself etc. I am not insane. The only thing I require is for me to be left alone most of the time. I don't see how someone with common sense could screw that up.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #50
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    It's still hard. And maybe you are like that because they didn't screw up? Parenting is difficult. Probably feels more difficult on me because I have four. But still.

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