User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 30

  1. #11
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    LoL
    Posts
    929

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    In summary, maybe we just know when things are right. Maybe there really is some inner fealing that we experience around our so-called soulmates.
    I think that connections on this deep a level can only be sensed by just "knowing" as you mention, because connecting on this level is the whole point...
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  2. #12
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    4,010

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by speculative View Post
    I think that connections on this deep a level can only be sensed by just "knowing" as you mention, because connecting on this level is the whole point...
    Exactly. People often give up because of shallow disagreements. Day to day disagreements are very common and are necessary for a healthy relationship. My parents fought sometimes, but it didn't mean anything in the face oif their intimacy and love. It's a matter of what's above the surface and what exists below..because you can't be too deap, and as long as you have this depthness of love, everything else is secondaryy-you can make everything work.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  3. #13
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    EN?P
    Enneagram
    7
    Posts
    679

    Default

    I met him freshman year. He was the roomate of one of the guys at the radio station at my school. We needed him to narrate a segment. I thought he was cute. I later told the roomate to give him my number but received no call. We ran into each other over the next couple of years but only in passing. At the beginning of last year, I made friends with an ENFJ guy in one of my screenwriting classes. It turns out he was now living with the ENFJ and they lived 10 blocks from my new apartment.

    We started hanging out more often and then one day I pretty much jumped him. He was a virgin at the time. We joke that it was a botched date rape. We started spending more and more time together over the summer. Then we started dating. He moved in a few months ago and we're still going strong.

    Oh and he's an INFP (though his Fi and Ti are almost equal. He identifies more with INFP but I think he acts like an INTP).

  4. #14
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    LoL
    Posts
    929

    Default

    Thanks for sharing your story Tiny Army. That is something I think about all the time: whether passion and a sort of spontaneous encounter comes first, or dating. I actually don't have any acquaintances that ever really "dated." This was especially true in college. I grew up with the Leave it to Beaver upbringing, traditional and proper. To me, you meet someone you like and you ask them out on a date, and it's a very formal thing. My introversion is pretty extreme; I am good in very small groups of a couple people but when it comes to being out in the world I can only navigate society when there are set rules. When there are no set rules and you have to try to figure out all the "hidden" rules of society, I fail miserably.

    For example, my parent's friends are kind of socialites and some of the most extreme extroverts I have met (very nice people) and they know I am single so they are always on the lookout for someone who might be a good fit with me. They gave me the phone number of this girl they met this weekend for me to call. To me, the first call should be about asking her out on a first date. But, people in my age group in general would not even be doing what I am doing, going through this formal process. They might call but the word "date" would never enter into the equation. Instead, they might go through vague, amorphous processes of meeting at a certain time & place but god forbid it be called a date because certainly that is an outmoded way of thinking from a world gone by... Never having a first date means you never have a second date. So, what stage of the relationship are you at? Well, one person thinks one thing (that it's serious) and the other person thinks another thing (that it's not) because there is no common lingua franca, no enthymemes, that both people can use as guideposts. So, eventually people hook up and one person wasn't ready or the other wasn't, because they either are or are not a couple but we can't even use the word couple to describe them because they have not been existing in this by-gone world of "dating" or "relationships" so how would they know in the first place anyway.

    For me, this vagueness means I cannot understand what the other person is trying to communicate to me socially, and I cannot therefore conceptualize how to communicate socially back at them. Are they expecting me to move to the next level, what is that even, do they want to move things forward/backward/up/down/left/right? At this point, I feel like if I even ask someone out on a date they will look at me like I'm not speaking English or like I'm from another planet or a time traveler from centuries in the past. I may as well mention I want to "woo" them.

    And this plays out further down the line too. I know so many people who have 2-3 kids and are living with a guy, but yet they're not married, don't "believe" in marriage (either you believe in commitment or you don't, marriage is just another word for commitment) and don't really have what could be called a "family." Is this the result we're finally truly seeing in the world of so many divorces and broken families etc., that people think this is normal and that's what they want, or are they afraid to have a family because they think it will be broken, and therefore we are as a society steering away from terms and concepts like dating, relationships, marriage, and family?

    I don't get it... This is a crude summary of something that should probably be a 5-10 page essay in a blog or something, but I saw this as a possible opportunity to bring this up on-topic in a thread. Does anyone else also "not get it?" I mean, if you told me I had to swim through a lake of fire and then walk across a desert of broken glass to reach my goal of being with someone, I'd say, "Awesome! I finally know the parameters and what's required to accomplish the goal, so I can begin my journey." Not knowing how to conceptualize the journey itself I cannot begin to prepare for reaching the goal. I mean, I can't even count on a wedding ring to let me know if someone's taken because most of the people I know who have kids and are living with someone aren't even married or engaged... I search for clarity on this in the world on a daily basis and find none, it has become truly maddening... :crazy:
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  5. #15
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    EN?P
    Enneagram
    7
    Posts
    679

    Default

    Well I don't think I will ever marry because if I so much as mentioned the word marriage within 600 feet of my mother it would turn into an epic clusterfuck. I don't need to be paraded around in a stupid dress to be judged by all my asshole relatives to prove that I want to be with someone for the rest of my life. All I care about is knowing deep down inside that I love someone and want to stay with them. I definitely want kids but I never once thought I'd need a man in my life to do so. I always saw marriage as adding more politics to the equation. Why not just be with someone and be happy? I think I could do that without a ring or a piece of paper declaring I'm with someone.

    My relationship and my commitment are a deeply personal thing for me. Making a big show of it would just embarrass and annoy me.

    Edit: This is just my own personal view on marriage. I think marriage can be wonderful for those who think it's right for them and weddings can be fun provided not a single member of my family is present at them.

  6. #16
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    353

    Default

    I met my husband (INTP) on the internet. I was only 16 when I got married, he was 18, we've been married 10 years now. It's kinda weird thinking back about it, but I never had any doubts about marrying him, it's not like I felt "he's the one!" or anything... I don't know, it just seemed perfectly right.

    If anyone's interested can tell the full story...
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  7. #17
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    3

    Default

    Realize that only Idealists/NFs look for soul-mates. Further, Idealists only represent typically <25% of the population. Further realize that Idealists always ('tend' is too weak a word) romantize the objects of their affection. Consequently once the honeymoon of a new romance is over, a once soulmate now feels like someone who doesn't understand what we *mean*, whimsically hurts our feelings and thinks its nothing, and taxes us as we overempathize with them.

    This is true even if your 'soulmate' was another NF or even an NT.

    Magic, everlasting soulmates don't exist. It's healthier in the long run to learn to accept that long-term relationships are a challenge. It's even better to hook up with people that understand or at least have patience for the short-comings of our type. Without a doubt I know that my wife does the lions share of keeping us even keeled. On the flip side, I also feel that people endure so much to be with NFs (and ENFPs in particular) because the moments that we do bring our world into focus, and shine that magical spotlight of ours on their souls... we bring so much passion and insightfulness as cannot be expressed or noticed by other types.

    We are the world's greatest romantics and worst pragmatics. Thus without great effort and personal development you are doomed to leap from passion to passion.

  8. #18
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    1,899

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cantuse View Post
    Realize that only Idealists/NFs look for soul-mates. Further, Idealists only represent typically <25% of the population. Further realize that Idealists always ('tend' is too weak a word) romantize the objects of their affection. Consequently once the honeymoon of a new romance is over, a once soulmate now feels like someone who doesn't understand what we *mean*, whimsically hurts our feelings and thinks its nothing, and taxes us as we overempathize with them.

    This is true even if your 'soulmate' was another NF or even an NT.

    Magic, everlasting soulmates don't exist. It's healthier in the long run to learn to accept that long-term relationships are a challenge. It's even better to hook up with people that understand or at least have patience for the short-comings of our type. Without a doubt I know that my wife does the lions share of keeping us even keeled. On the flip side, I also feel that people endure so much to be with NFs (and ENFPs in particular) because the moments that we do bring our world into focus, and shine that magical spotlight of ours on their souls... we bring so much passion and insightfulness as cannot be expressed or noticed by other types.

    We are the world's greatest romantics and worst pragmatics. Thus without great effort and personal development you are doomed to leap from passion to passion.

    I posted a half joking question about this on the NT board. It seems like a loosing battle to fight.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    878

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cantuse View Post
    We are the world's greatest romantics and worst pragmatics.
    Yes.

  10. #20
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    1,087

    Default

    Instead, they might go through vague, amorphous processes of meeting at a certain time & place but god forbid it be called a date because certainly that is an outmoded way of thinking from a world gone by...
    At 17 I know how this is. To me, 'date' is kind of... rigid. Like an SJ way of going about a relationship. I prefer calling and seeing what happens. I like to 'Hang out' instead of dating. And if I DO date, it is somewhere in the middle of the relationship where we're both comfortable with each other. Even then it's still a hang-out type situation. I guess I like things to be casual and natural. Anything other and it feels like an arranged relationship.

    It doesn't help that I tend to over think the relationship, putting into that 'pre-arranged' box.

    I always saw marriage as adding more politics to the equation.
    I see it similarly, too. I can understand your stance there, definitely. Marriage is, I think, the way of showing your whole family you're going to stick with this person forever, which means your family gets very involved. This works for some families, and others... pretty poorly.

    We are the world's greatest romantics and worst pragmatics.
    QFT
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

Similar Threads

  1. How would you describe the balance of your auxiliary and tertiary functions?
    By Smilephantomhive in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 06-23-2016, 10:40 AM
  2. How do you know the type of your friends/family members?
    By gromit in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 08-25-2014, 05:24 PM
  3. How do you assess the strength of your Tert and Inf functions?
    By IZthe411 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-22-2010, 10:03 AM
  4. How did you find your type?
    By NewEra in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 08-24-2009, 07:08 PM
  5. How did you find out your type?
    By Economica in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 06-15-2007, 03:14 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO