User Tag List

First 789

Results 81 to 88 of 88

  1. #81
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5&4 sx
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    1,232

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    I imagine that part of this could be due to the INFP not wanting to burden you with their own desires, even on very simple things such as fetching them something to drink. When their needs aren't being filled over and over, stress takes over, and they might lash out in the way that you've described.

    I've kind of intuited that I should do them minor favors even if they don't ask me to (or even if they outright say "no"), but phrase it in such a way that I'm doing it for myself. I'll grab myself two drinks, "in case I get extra thirsty" As I get to know them better, it seems that I'm more able to pick up on what they do need.

    I've found that it does take some prodding or some understanding to find out what they're actually after.. which is completely contrary to my usually direct nature. Not to say that it's a bad thing at all--in fact, it's completely worth it--but it takes some extra effort for me to see things from their perspective.

    Someone correct me if I'm wrong.. I'm really wanting to understand the INFx mode of communication.
    Whoa. You actually...have it.

    I was telling my mom the other day how I didn't tell her certain things when I was younger because I didn't want to burden her, and she goes, "But I'm your mother. It's my job to be burdened with your problems." I just never see it that way.

  2. #82
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5&4 sx
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    1,232

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    I judge body posture, amount of movement, speed of movement, flow of movement (ackward or natural), habitual movement (nervous tic), facial expressions (relaxed and natural or forced and fake?) etc.

    Maybe this is complicated to some, but it's not like I go through a checklist. I read these things without thinking.

    Is that what you mean't? Hopefully I understood the question...
    *pats you on the back*
    I definitely do this. I'll notice all of these things about a person, assess what his personality is like, and, generally, am right. Though we INFs aren't very detail-oriented, we are certainly observant. Somehow, it works for us...

  3. #83
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    This resonates with me and describes my motivation as a composer (my primary training and profession). I have an ongoing sense of peering over the precipice, of having a sense of a picture too large to hold in my mind in most everything I relate to. Trying to communicate that is a deep frustration. In my creative work, I have a sense of something much greater than I manage to formulate in the real world. It is what drives me to keep at it and continually sharpen my ability to communicate even though it feels a bit like a lost cause. I tend to view other people as almost limitless in complexity, so I can't conclude that I know them well even if I have a great many details and nuances collected in relationship to them. It can seem almost disrespectful to approach it otherwise.

    This is also why it is difficult for me to be particularly opinionated - because of this ongoing sense of only glimpsing and being lost in the vastness. I realize that the descriptions usually read INFJs are opinionated, but it seems an irony if one is really thinking in the terms described here. That is a core reason I question my type - also the poetic justice bent which is not me at all. On one level I am always at a complete loss and so continually work towards refining my hypotheses, although always without certainty. This makes me work especially hard to formulate even a hypothesis. I suspect the evidence I gather for a hypothesis tends to outweigh what most people need for a certain conclusion. (Edit: Sometimes I deliberately practice forming and expressing opinions especially if I have toyed with the hypothesis for a long time)
    This is how I am, too -- except that I tend toward outbursts if I'm around someone I feel at ease with -- so I will state something in a definite, opinionated way -- but it's only the truth I am seeing at that moment, and not the entirety. I know that when I'm saying it. But the other person doesn't realize that tomorrow or even two minutes later I'll see the other side of it, and that will be just as true. But I might not ever say that part aloud. Then when the subject is revisited, I'm reminded that last time I said A, this time I say B, and I appear whimsical at best, but it's not that. It's that the truth continually evolves and I know I'll never see the entirety, so I'm content to exclaim about the facets as they appear.

  4. #84
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    2,424

    Default

    It is very difficult for me to communicate.

  5. #85
    Junior Member lumikuu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Posts
    16

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post

    personally, all my life it's like i've been staring at this picture far off in the distance or this shape in the clouds that i can't fully see, and it's all i ever want to talk about. i want to grasp it finally and completely with total conviction and understanding. but i don't even know what it is, can't see it, don't even remember half the time where to look...
    it's kind of ironic for the OP but why say anything when other infjs have got it down for you? you articulated that perfectly.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    not to mention that infj needs more desperately than infp to explicitly articulate and express its understandings. it is its whole mode of operation, its whole reason for existing, raison d'etre. to symbolize it, to create a meaningful artifact out of it, to congeal it into something powerful that will explode and impact everything around it.
    i tried this but found it impossible to turn my soul inside out. the problem is i don't like to settle for less, even if i did the best i could to express my perceptions, my defeated perfectionism detests and limits allowing its shortcomings to be exposed. this doesn't always make sense in an imperfect world which is always discovering and reinventing new perspectives while thriving nonetheless, but i like to keep that refining process internal (Ni vs Ne?)... waiting only until the final conclusion to emerge is unrealistic (this may not be what you were referring to but it reminded me of how i experienced it). even "solid" forms are holographic and transient on a quantum level so meh, imaginary vs concrete art=same difference. who needs humans when we can be penetrated by the spirit guides.......

    nowadays i'm too lazy to prove myself so yeah ~*leave infinity where it is, humble yo'self within each fragment that is already to connected to xXxall-that-isxXx, find completion within fluidity*~
    "attic in a basement with a knife serrated, i'll protect you!"
    ~architecture in helsinki

  6. #86
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    681

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by neptunesnet View Post
    I was telling my mom the other day how I didn't tell her certain things when I was younger because I didn't want to burden her, and she goes, "But I'm your mother. It's my job to be burdened with your problems." I just never see it that way.
    +1

    my SFJ mom always found this confounding about me, too.

    "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.."
    -Oscar Wilde



  7. #87
    Senior Member scortia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    205

    Default

    Given that I have sobbed in front of my mother dozens of times about a specific way she always pulls out negativity... that I have tried to explain specifically how it upsets me and how it's more horrible than being physically hurt... and she STILL gets defensive and says I'm judgmental and being ridiculous... I think that shows that communication is hard for us.

    And yet, my writing seems to move people when THEY ARENT THE PEOPLE I'M DIRECTLY TALKING TO. She'll cry when I write a letter to my dad over problems we're having, but I write one to her and she doesn't get what the deal is. Maybe it's less my communication skills and moreso about how either people don't want to recognize their problems or that INFJs are just so far off the beaten path that no one can understand their thought process.

  8. #88
    Vulnerability Eilonwy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4 sp/so
    Posts
    6,172

    Default

    Thank you for this thread. I love reading about other people's thought processes. It gives me so much insight into my own as well as helping me understand others.

    I find that my communication skills have changed over the years and also depending on if I'm leaning towards F or T. My thought processes are bouncing around quite a bit at this time, so forgive me if that shows in my writing.

    I used to be very non-opinionated--I thought everyone had a valid point--until I realized one day that I had very few solid opinions of my own and decided to form some. This effected how I communicated--before I felt more at ease because I genuinely agreed with just about everyone's way of thinking, or at least their right to their way of thinking. But once I started owning my own opinions, I didn't have the skills to let people know without also hurting their feelings.

    As many of you have mentioned, I, too, have to take some time to formulate my thoughts before speaking, especially with people who don't know me very well. I feel that I have to go back to a certain point and explain why I'm thinking what I'm thinking and how I came to my conclusions, and on and on and on. I'm working on not explaining so much. (Probably not doing so well here but, believe me, these are shorter than normal for me--partly because I really shouldn't be online as long as I've been!) Along those lines, I have trouble capturing my own thoughts sometimes. They flit here and there and I know what they are in a very abstract way, but putting them into words is difficult. Although I can be very logical, a lot of my reasoning is intuitive. I feel like a watered-down NT and a reined-in NF.

    I can be very tuned-in to body language at times and can make very accurate assumptions about what people are feeling or underlying meanings in what they're saying. I think this creeps some people out because they don't operate on that level. I have made wrong assumptions, so I tend to check and that's when some people start backing slowly away....

    not to mention that infj needs more desperately than infp to explicitly articulate and express its understandings. it is its whole mode of operation, its whole reason for existing, raison d'etre. to symbolize it, to create a meaningful artifact out of it, to congeal it into something powerful that will explode and impact everything around it.
    Yes to the above. All-in-all, I feel that I can communicate pretty well with all types on a certain level, but that there's always a deeper level that I want to communicate that just doesn't come across. Some people may not love my style of communicating, but the message usually still gets across adequately. Unsatisfying to me, but then that isn't the point.

    Completely OT, but maybe related in some way, I find that when I dream or when I tell someone about something that's happened to me, I see it in my head as if it's a play. In other words, I'm watching myself act out the dream or the event, rather than being in the dream or event.

    Hope I haven't rambled too much and that at least some of it is on topic. Thanks for listening!


    Edited to add: I don't think in pictures unless I'm recounting or planning an event. Mostly it's stream of consciousness and feelings. And I tend to stray off topic because the topic will start me thinking of something and then that leads to something else and that to something else...like now....
    Last edited by Eilonwy; 10-17-2009 at 10:40 PM. Reason: Added thoughts

Similar Threads

  1. IQ and communication
    By Risen in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 03-23-2013, 06:09 PM
  2. [JCF] Of Intuition and Communication...
    By Ethereal in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-06-2009, 06:48 AM
  3. [SJ] SJs and communication
    By poppy in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 08-19-2009, 10:25 PM
  4. News and Communication Style [split from NTs: Just Plain Rude?]
    By Erudur in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 05-22-2009, 10:43 PM
  5. [INTP] INTP and communication skills.
    By Cypocalypse in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-19-2008, 06:49 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO