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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    Sometimes. Total strangers poring their hearts
    Yes, out to me and stuff.
    Yes, strangers do this to me too. But they don't want really to be friends. There's no real relationship built. These are fleeting encounters.

    Often people I know who really don't even like me most of the time will at rare moments pour out their hearts but it isn't like they suddenly see me in a new light and treat me with a new respect. It's just a fleeting, passing thing---they are purging their souls, dumping their pain, seeking connection when they need it and then they move on, preferring I think to forget their moment.

  2. #32
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    In the past, people I haven't known very well have "poured out their hearts" to me. And for sure, good friends or even casual friends often feel comfortable telling me personal stuff.

    However, I am the one who feels emotional connections with people a lot. Well, no, not a lot. But I've had experiences where another person and I get really emotionally attached to each other. (experiencing that now, with an ENFJ). It usually happens with other NFS, but it kind of happens with NTs sometimes, too.

    I don't know, I guess being an introvert and all, I am pretty guarded most of the time. It takes a lot for me to open up....but when I do......WOW (typical INFP).

  3. #33
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    I have a problem with people thinking we made an emotional "connection" like at work, school, out in public and they hold onto this..but in reality there really isn't anything going on out of the norm but they are so sure you understand etc etc feel it too...anyone else ever get this?
    Thats cause you are an INFJ. I always feel a deep emotional connection with them even though they didnt say anything to me much at all. You poor guys just ooze the deep spiritual vibe and we all lust after your wholesomeness and want to bathe in your wisdom.

    sucks to be you.

  4. #34
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I think it boils down to the fact that as humans, we're more similar than we think. T4, when we're 'open' to each other, we feel as though we connect.

    I too had total strangers just dish out their emotions to me. Even though people and including myself, feel as though we made a 'special' connection, sometimes, it is, because we let our guards down. We openly respect on another enough to share our experiences.

    In a fast-paced society, it's often unusual for people to be able to share that part of themselves, because it's deep. So they feel connected when they're heard.

    To me- a special bond is when you really get to know a person for who they are, and you share those experiences together. And, basically you care for one another to the point where their well-being truly matters to you. Not everyone gets this treatment. It's time, nourishment, consideration both parties mutually invest.

  5. #35
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    I think its more common with female NFs because society's standard says the Man is the seeker, so its in the men's mind to find their partner. With male NFs the women who feel this connection might just keep a little distance, hoping the NF feels the connection too and pursues it.

    But the main trigger is just the 'atypical niceness' aura NFs give off (Especially NF women). My mom works at our town's library and complains all the time about people thinking her 'work smile' is a relationship invitation, while the 'limit pushing' people why away from her because she can be a she-devil when pished

    I find that I just give off a 'closed' feeling like Kyrielle said. Though people register it is weirdness or "That pool is way too deep to swim in comfortably"
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rainbows
    I have a problem with people thinking we made an emotional "connection" like at work, school, out in public and they hold onto this..but in reality there really isn't anything going on out of the norm but they are so sure you understand etc etc feel it too...anyone else ever get this?
    Thats cause you are an INFJ. I always feel a deep emotional connection with them even though they didnt say anything to me much at all. You poor guys just ooze the deep spiritual vibe and we all lust after your wholesomeness and want to bathe in your wisdom.

    sucks to be you.
    Rainbows, I think you take your very unique empathic talent for granted...I wish I had your insight into people..Are you numb to feel "...there isn't anything going on".."out of the norm"?

    C'mon here. You DO understand. You just needed me (ENTP) to help you realize it!

    ..and INFJs wonder why no one 'appreciates their gifts'?

    I would shave my head and go without food for 5 days to have your talents..
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  7. #37
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearette View Post
    In the past, people I haven't known very well have "poured out their hearts" to me. And for sure, good friends or even casual friends often feel comfortable telling me personal stuff.

    However, I am the one who feels emotional connections with people a lot. Well, no, not a lot. But I've had experiences where another person and I get really emotionally attached to each other. (experiencing that now, with an ENFJ). It usually happens with other NFS, but it kind of happens with NTs sometimes, too.

    I don't know, I guess being an introvert and all, I am pretty guarded most of the time. It takes a lot for me to open up....but when I do......WOW (typical INFP).
    I've 'dumped' my emotions to one INFJ in my lifetime..I really value connection..That's where it's at for me.

    Do you ever feel hurt if someone does this and one removes themselves? This hurts.

    I don't open up to just about everyone..And I think it's bad to open up to many people other than one person. I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea of 'having many relationships' with many others..it just seems it would spread one thin...and become a superficial context or view of life. To think this way gives me a harsh headache.


    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Yes, strangers do this to me too. But they don't want really to be friends. There's no real relationship built. These are fleeting encounters.

    Often people I know who really don't even like me most of the time will at rare moments pour out their hearts but it isn't like they suddenly see me in a new light and treat me with a new respect. It's just a fleeting, passing thing---they are purging their souls, dumping their pain, seeking connection when they need it and then they move on, preferring I think to forget their moment.
    My, that feels so artificial. Sorry.

    Quote Originally Posted by briochick View Post
    This used to happen to me. I learned, over time, to put on a cold front when I sensed people becoming dissproportionately attached to me until they back off. One of my friends said (of when someone like this came around and hugged me) that it was visible. It still feels terribly mean but I also feel like it's survival.
    You take connection for granted. I wish I had one-fifth of your ability.

    Count your blessings. Do you just throw away people? I mean I'm sure this isn't intentional...but essentially that's what I see you saying. What? Survival? No. From What on Earth are you surviving when you have abundance of people liking you? I'm at a loss for seeing your point. Mind you, I read people second to only ENFP.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I'd say he was lucky you were INFP!

    "Trip to the Moon" for sure!
    Second that!

    Quote Originally Posted by polerbearsand View Post
    A few weeks ago some friends were having a kegger at their house. Part way through the night one of them, a guy, took me upstairs to his room because he had to "tell me something important." We walk up the stairs, and I'm feeling the awkwardness of the impending situation. We walk into his room and he closes the door after me. Then he tells me that he's gay and tries to kiss me.

    I tell him I'm not attracted to men, but he almost wouldn't take no for an answer. He kept saying that he felt "a connection" to me.

    We're still friends, I just don't hang out with him as much any more.

    This has happened to me a few times, where other guys think we have a connection when I'm just trying to be a friend. It must be an NF thing.
    Chastity Belt for guys?
    Last edited by proteanmix; 03-02-2009 at 10:14 AM. Reason: merged posts
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  8. #38

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    It's because we don't push people back out of the comfort zone unless necessary, so people push forward, see little resistance and think it means something, when it might just mean we are slower to offend them or hurt their feelings. Like you want to give everyone a run, and benefit of doubt, even when intuition tells you strongly otherwise.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Emotional connection is curious process, my friends say they need emotional connections to be comfortable around girls. Their friends pour their hearts out to them just not me. I have this uneasy distant vibe that often makes it unlikely random people want to pour their hearts out.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    Sometimes. Total strangers poring their hearts out to me and stuff. Plus the occasional lonely male misreading the attention being given as interest. I've had a couple of stalkers when I was younger, so I'm much more careful not to put out mixed signals now...it could also be my sheer awesomeness too, and they want a piece of that.
    I also put it down to me being such a friggin bleeding heart. People just attach themselves to me, when they catch glimspe of my gooey soft center. I've learnt to be colder, and harder as people will not hesitate to take advantage.
    Ditto.^^^
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