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  1. #1
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Default NFs Is it easier to be a selfless individual, when you have low self esteem?

    Is it truly easier to be a selfless individual when you have low self esteem?
    Why or why not??
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  2. #2
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    That is a loaded question. I look forward to reading through the discussion.

    People who are ego-centric (in being primarily aware of their own little sphere at the expense of others) can go from arrogance to self-deprecation in an instant. Being caught anywhere on that continuum can make it difficult to be self-less. Both extremes create a strong internal need and sense of internal emptiness. Arrogance is often shadowed by insecurity because it is difficult to keep up the facade in one's mind of being better than others. Low self-esteem and depression can make a person only aware of their own world. It can result in hurting others by assuming they don't care, assuming it doesn't matter what happens to you, assuming it's okay if others hurt you. There are few things I know that are more painful than watching someone I love let other people hurt them. It is selfless in one way, but tends to only consider the feelings of those who are taking from them and dismisses the feelings of those who would like to give.

    I think true selflessness is based on empathy, of seeing other people at eye-level. When you can see others as your equal and feel neither threatened or superior, that is when you can understand and care most effectively.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #3
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Yes this is very loaded. I think it works either way, NFs seek approval regardless so they will want to do things that give them approval. I was like this when I had low self esteem and I am still like this now when I have pretty good self esteem.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #4
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i don't know...i can see it both ways. someone with poor self esteem may be very giving of their self and think they are being selfless when in reality it is this giving that makes them feel good about their self so it is self serving...but isn't it always that way??

    i don't know but i don't like unequal relationships for anyone...i feel like it should always go both ways and everyone should value themselves enough to expect that.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #5
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    I think selflessness, with it's more positive connotations, as in not just "not having concern for oneself" but "the act of sacrificing ones own interest for the greater good", favors people with higher self-esteem.

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    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    (wrong, basically)
    What about getting past the barely first degree bad analysis for a try?

    First of all self esteem has more than one angle and or definition you can play with behavioraly speaking, let's define that for starters.
    And then define the types of 'selfless' things a low or high self esteem individual will tend to do.
    etc
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
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  7. #7
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Is it truly easier to be a selfless individual when you have low self esteem?
    Why or why not??
    No, because if you're being selfless and have a low self esteem it usually means it's a way to reduce guilty (works as for whatever punishment for whatever reason you have a low self esteem). The motives are just screwed

    Nobody's actually selfless and I have a hard time with altruism. People who in their actions/words put others completely before themselves are hiding something huge and try to gain self worth with their "apparently" unselfish deeds

    True authencity (true altruistic behaviour) becomes possible only when you have the same standards for yourself and for others.

    => One should be as merciful/forgiving/accepting of oneself as one is of others. Only then can one comprehend equality.

    (If we're talking this idealistically and such thing as "selfness" does exist).


    Okay I missed the point, sorry... Hm I mean it is easier to act selfless when you have low self esteem yes




    (what what what)

  8. #8
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    For example, religious culture\belief based selflessness is philosophicaly different from an atheist's one. but religions themselves find their roots in human behavior and brain structure. The same religions will also be influenced by and influence the set of moral values and normal social behaviors and attitudes of its members. So one doesn't need to agree with a particular set of belief\life philosophy to be influenced by it via mass culture.
    So it's kind of an ouroboros. It's difficult to know where the natural human tendency \ social animal behavior start and where the meme's influence becomes strong enough to be considered as the "sole" conscious cause of the selfless action.
    Then you have every part of the choice that simply isn't conscious, starting by internalised values.
    Here's a dumb example: if you had no more keys on your keyboard u'd probably not be able to place them all back, yet you can type xx words a minute without even glancing at it. It works pretty much the same way for alot of behaviors\attitudes and values we have.

    Then there's the fact that nobody'd do something if they didn't have some motivation to do so, some sort of pleasure in exchange. So selflessness intervene on a limited level and not the behavior as a whole.

    meh, 'd like to talk and talk but I got to go.

    Anyway, gotta go.
    cu
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  9. #9
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tibby View Post
    No, because if you're being selfless and have a low self esteem it usually means it's a way to reduce guilty (works as for whatever punishment for whatever reason you have a low self esteem). The motives are just screwed

    Nobody's actually selfless and I have a hard time with altruism. People who in their actions/words put others completely before themselves are hiding something huge and try to gain self worth with their "apparently" unselfish deeds

    True authencity (true altruistic behaviour) becomes possible only when you have the same standards for yourself and for others.

    => One should be as merciful/forgiving/accepting of oneself as one is of others. Only then can one comprehend equality.

    (If we're talking this idealistically and such thing as "selfness" does exist).


    Okay I missed the point, sorry... Hm I mean it is easier to act selfless when you have low self esteem yes




    (what what what)
    agreed...in a sense i feel like you have to be secure about your own worth to be able to give for the sake of giving and not just trying to fill a hole...just knowing what comes around goes around.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #10
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    see, this thread is prime example of why NFs don't get to be in the "strongest women" thread! Stop hatin' on me when its y'all hatin on yoselvez, B!

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