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  1. #11
    Wannabe genius Splittet's Avatar
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    The research says no. It shows happy people (more self-esteem) are helpful people. It's a very consistent finding. Positive thinking generally leads to more positive actions. Traits correlating to helpfulness are positive emotionality, empathy and self-efficacy. Some individuals with low self-esteem are pre-occupied by depression and other problems, which in part explains why they are less helpful on average.
    "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." - Wolfgang Amadé Mozart

  2. #12
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    agreed...in a sense i feel like you have to be secure about your own worth to be able to give for the sake of giving and not just trying to fill a hole...just knowing what comes around goes around.
    And people with low self-esteem who give just so they can fill a void, probably see their self-esteem rise as a result of thinking they've done something good.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Default Good Question..I'll take a look

    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    Is it truly easier to be a selfless individual when you have low self esteem?
    Why or why not??
    I would think anytime is a good time to be selfless. And I believe this is linked to giving.

    I don't know...I don't consider self-esteem as linked to giving (necessarily). All things are linked perhaps. It may be that one's priorities can change relative to their self-esteem...but then again my self-esteem (p. 148 Please Understand Me II, Kiersey) is driven in being ingenious..So I look at giving this way:

    Giving, to me, is the spirit and act of providing someone other than oneself, with something. That could mean something tangible and/or intangible. In that, meaning the spirit of giving expects no reward in return...otherwise it's not giving and that wouldn't make sense. That would be a lie.

    When I give to someone, I do not expect anything in return. Such a thing would negate the whole spirit and idea of giving...that, I would quickly much rather call selfishness, or a cloaking of intentions. And that, is to a degree, evil in action as I see it.

    The true spirit of giving is what's important here. As a result, we often feel good if it's reflected upon. But the intention of giving comes first and genuinely from the heart.

    I can't see how that would hurt one's self-esteem, so certainly it wouldn't. If you get an inkling to give I would rise up and do it.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
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  4. #14
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    When I had low self esteem I cared about no one but myself. Only now that I feel good about myself do I feel more invested in making others feel good about themselves. It's a great feeling and I just want to spread it!

  5. #15
    Senior Member SuperServal's Avatar
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    People with low self esteem are constantly worrying about how they appear to everyone else. This may produce selfless acts but, as others have said, the goal would be to make yourself more appreciated by everyone else. I would like to ask: is this a bad thing? I know some people who really doubt their self-worth and have given only to increase their popularity. While this is not true altruism I think it may eventually lead there. If they feel more appreciated by others then their actual self-worth has a high chance of increasing. Genuine relationships could be formed that could eventually foster high self-esteems and a need to give just to give.

    What I'm saying is that people with low self-esteem are trying to be liked by people. Most people want others to like them. If we didn't have this drive would we actually work on building relationships? Sure, it seems "bad" to form relationships to fill in the hole of feeling unneeded, but if a genuine connection is eventually formed how can this be bad? Both parties end up with something good.

    ....I think I'm just repeating myself now so I'll stop.
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  6. #16
    Wannabe genius Splittet's Avatar
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    I see some speculate that low self-esteem might lead to selfless act because they will need the appreciation. Studies show no. But there is an effect that's kind of similar, but it's a short-term effect, created by situations, and not personality. When people feel guilt and experience self-image threats they become more helpful, to restore self-image.
    "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." - Wolfgang Amadé Mozart

  7. #17
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    In my teens and twenties my self-esteem was abysmal. And I couldn't say "No" to anyone. It was a long couple of decades of resentment for me.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #18
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Well if you have too much selfsteem you might be more selfish.
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  9. #19
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    I think selflessness, with it's more positive connotations, as in not just "not having concern for oneself" but "the act of sacrificing ones own interest for the greater good", favors people with higher self-esteem.
    Well-put. Also, being considerate of those who share your larger picture can be a reasoned choice. Cooperation is often just a good idea that brings emergent benefits to all involved.

    It is important to recognize what we share with others including our own value. My observations and experience with low-self esteem suggests that when it is a component of a basically "nice" person, then it can motivate behaviors that put other peoples feelings first in certain situations, but it tends to be inconsistent. Like I mentioned earlier, the person who doesn't think much of self tends to go more out of their way to gain approval from people who treat them like shit and can have blind spots towards the people who are good to them especially when those interests conflict with the nasty folks interest. That is because the nasty folks are validating their inner world view of worthlessness, and so it dominants their mind and actions.
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  10. #20

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    The better my life is, the more I have to give and share. Every interaction becomes something amazing. I'm not sure if it is general for NF, but when I'm on a winning streak it is like love and generosity starts flowing in my veins. I feel settled and just want to make the world better.

    I think low self esteem just slows me down and makes me less sure of acting on things. I have the ideas then shut them down and want to be unintrusive. Go into my shell a lot more.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

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