[ENFJ] ENFJ Boy and ENFP Girl

[bambicomplex]

I recently started seeing a new ENFJ guy and I’m an ENFP girl. So far so good as far as energy goes. However, it took ages for us to start up because we both tend to do the disappearing thing… Also we both dislike conflict so if either one of us asks questions we don’t want to talk about we simply don’t respond and act as if it didn’t happen. This is all well and good at the moment but can it sustain? Does anyone have insight on the ENFJ and ENFP dynamic?

 

[IEE623]

Just be completely honest with each other. Because the characteristic of this relationship is mutual misunderstanding, according to Socionics. If either of you (or both) don't speak up what/how you are really feeling, then the other naturally misunderstands the intention or reason below all the words and actions on the surface.

 

[WieldingTheSword]

I kind of have the reverse scenario. I'm an ENFJ girl who is taking great interest in an ENFP boy. It's still too early to tell what's going to happen, but I've noticed he's a bit shy now and is keeping his distance more than ever. (Is that common for ENFPs when they are attracted to people?!)

 

[Wild horses]

Yea it can be! I know that if I have strong feelings for someone I act out of the ordinary and it you think that 'ordinary' for me is to be very intimate with everyone then yes... keeping my distance could be sometthing that I do...

 

[WieldingTheSword]

Oh, I should have mentioned something about the dynamic. I think we attract each other because we both live very passionately. We are almost identical about values, and we both have a bent toward learning and knowledge (I have a slight T bent, and I think he may too.). The strengths I perceive are the communication being strong overall (provided both parties learn to LISTEN), the fun, and the similarity in ideals and goals. The weaknesses can perhaps deal with the J or P, depending on how strong they are for both of you. I personally love being around NFPs, so this is a joy to me, not an annoyance.

 

[WieldingTheSword]

Yea it can be! I know that if I have strong feelings for someone I act out of the ordinary and it you think that 'ordinary' for me is to be very intimate with everyone then yes... keeping my distance could be sometthing that I do...

So this is probably a good sign?! Lol.

 

[Wild horses]

Yea lololol ironically it is... Some times get really frustrated with it... but I can't help it.. I like to keep my distance for a bit

 

[WieldingTheSword]

Yea lololol ironically it is... Some times get really frustrated with it... but I can't help it.. I like to keep my distance for a bit

Haha, care to share HOW long? It would help to know since this is a rather new development

 

[Wild horses]

Well in my case it depends on the circumstances... I don't know really! It could last a couple of weeks or even months... but that case was a bit different because I suspected that the person in question had a partner! so I was right to keep my distance! And no one avoids beter than we do.. so it was like one minute I was there and then.... vanished

 

[WieldingTheSword]

Well in my case it depends on the circumstances... I don't know really! It could last a couple of weeks or even months... but that case was a bit different because I suspected that the person in question had a partner! so I was right to keep my distance! And no one avoids beter than we do.. so it was like one minute I was there and then.... vanished

LOL, OMG, he vanishes all the time too!!

 

[Wild horses]

Yea I know... *sigh* I have been told that I have an almost supernatural ability to suddenly cease to exist! HAHAHA

 

[WieldingTheSword]

Yea I know... *sigh* I have been told that I have an almost supernatural ability to suddenly cease to exist! HAHAHA

I need like, a whole thread dedicated to ENFP behavior when being interested romantically. Or a book. Or whatever. I need to understand this strange being.

 

[Wild horses]

LOLOL Oh and what a thread that would be... I'm sure there is one on the forum, I seem to remember something about a bunch of us ENFPs admitting to romantic quirks!

 

[Amargith]

I need like, a whole thread dedicated to ENFP behavior when being interested romantically. Or a book. Or whatever. I need to understand this strange being.

There's no point in demystifying the ENFP..its part of who we are. We're just that random. You will never succeed, nor should you ever want to
Just sit back and enjoy the ride

 

[Wild horses]

I do agree that it 'may' be part of our charm ... I mean something's gotta be

 

[WieldingTheSword]

Oh, it definitely is. I love just about everything about them LOL.

 

[bambicomplex]

maybe he's having a holding back mood, for me its either that or i go all in and give my 100%. it fluctuates though...

 

[SpottingTrains]

maybe he's having a holding back mood, for me its either that or i go all in and give my 100%. it fluctuates though...

I would just give it more time, make sure he can trust you and eventually he will start opening up