[ENFP] Is this common ENFP behavior????

[EcK]

You what?

love and want to marry the teddy bear

This guy I am having problems with has Borderline personality disorder.
I got along better with the APD boyfriend in all honesty.

Seriously, there are billions of people in the world, literaly.
Why going out with wierdos.

 

[ReadingRainbows]

love and want to marry the teddy bear



Seriously, there are billions of people in the world, literaly.
Why going out with wierdos.

I didnt say anything about marriage to the teddy bear!!! (fear of commitment on certain levels)

I like weirdos!!!!! I attract men with mother complexes..Idk I like taking care of them...... or......it might have something to do with my father being a sociopath.

 

[EcK]

I didnt say anything about marriage to the teddy bear!!! (fear of commitment on certain levels)

I like weirdos!!!!! I attract men with mother complexes..Idk I like taking care of them...... or......it might have something to do with my father being a sociopath.

Conscience of a fact can lead to control over the said fact.
Especially when as I said, we're not living on a nearly empty island, interesting people all around us. Maybe it's better to work on oneself instead of making up excuses and then trying to fix the effect instead of the cause.

But hey, only my opinion\life philosophy.

 

[ReadingRainbows]

Conscience of a fact can lead to control over the said fact.
Especially when as I said, we're not living on a nearly empty island, interesting people all around us. Maybe it's better to work on oneself instead of making up excuses and then trying to fix the effect instead of the cause.

But hey, only my opinion\life philosophy.

Excellent Point, I work on such behaviors with my councelor and am single.

Good Philosophy though

 

[professor goodstain]

I dated this guy (we went out about 3 times not dating exclusively either) and I ended it because he was always calling me stupid for not agreeing with him (he said he was joking but you have to wonder) Explained to me how I was a sociopath, and that he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I need to pull my head out of my *** and not let him get away. More so - he called me ignorant for not following his beliefs and for not calling him. (He is an atheist and I am not, but I wasnt talking about the subject) When I was driving he grabbed the car wheel (he doesnt have a license, but I do) and said he wanted to teach me to drive. He also said how useless I was ( I work, pay my own bills, live on my own, while he doesnt work, lives with his mom and spends his money on alchol) Anyways he keeps leaving me messages and sending angry texts to me, and wants me to attend his social functions (he is enlisting) and I just want to be left alone (yes he got the INFJ doorslam) but he keeps trying to come back...is this normal for ENFPs and what do you do about these types of people?

That is normal of alcoholics. The problem isn't that he calls you stupid and then sais he is joking around, the problem is that he calls you stupid. That dude is on the "heading to" part of rock bottom, not the "heading away"

 

[professor goodstain]

I dated this guy (we went out about 3 times not dating exclusively either) and I ended it because he was always calling me stupid for not agreeing with him (he said he was joking but you have to wonder) Explained to me how I was a sociopath, and that he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I need to pull my head out of my *** and not let him get away. More so - he called me ignorant for not following his beliefs and for not calling him. (He is an atheist and I am not, but I wasnt talking about the subject) When I was driving he grabbed the car wheel (he doesnt have a license, but I do) and said he wanted to teach me to drive. He also said how useless I was ( I work, pay my own bills, live on my own, while he doesnt work, lives with his mom and spends his money on alchol) Anyways he keeps leaving me messages and sending angry texts to me, and wants me to attend his social functions (he is enlisting) and I just want to be left alone (yes he got the INFJ doorslam) but he keeps trying to come back...is this normal for ENFPs and what do you do about these types of people?

I'm gonna predict the future as far as decades as opposed to months. He will come to you to make amends. You know, the AA step. But not anytime in the near future. If he doesn't, then maybe he found some sort of survival quality to justify his behavior.

 

[Lady_X]

Conscience of a fact can lead to control over the said fact.
Especially when as I said, we're not living on a nearly empty island, interesting people all around us. Maybe it's better to work on oneself instead of making up excuses and then trying to fix the effect instead of the cause.

But hey, only my opinion\life philosophy.

agreed...listen to the bear.

 

[ReadingRainbows]

I'm gonna predict the future as far as decades as opposed to months. He will come to you to make amends. You know, the AA step. But not anytime in the near future. If he doesn't, then maybe he found some sort of survival quality to justify his behavior.

He told me AA was full of ****, and I dont want him anywhere near me.

 

[Biaxident]

Restraining order.

And a taser just in case.

 

[professor goodstain]

Restraining order.

And a taser just in case.

Good call. The pen is mightyer than the sword. The taser will surely be justified in the eyes of the law.

 

[professor goodstain]

He told me AA was full of ****, and I dont want him anywhere near me.

When he hits rock bottom, and he will, he'll see a new light. A restraining order will, in a sense, somewhat speed up his progression to rock bottom.

 

[EcK]

agreed...listen to the bear.

Or he'll eat you whole!

 

[Biaxident]

Or he'll eat you whole!

With Fava beans, and a nice Chianti.

 

[ReadingRainbows]

Or he'll eat you whole!

I thought teddies where already stuffed?

 

[EcK]

I thought teddies where already stuffed?

ah, you know extroverts, we're just leaking out of every atom

 

[professor goodstain]

Your thread is allready becoming a pseudosocialcircus. My beloved brother is an INFJ. I hope some of this gave you information you can use. Knowing my brother, i think some advise to you was stuff that you already knew. Yet done with very good intentions, which also something that you already know. The restraining order is probably the best route. In this day and age, at least he is aquiring a negative paper trail. But if he keeps buggin ya, that only means he hasn't yet found another source of social pray to feed his alcoholism induced insecurities.

 

[professor goodstain]

Your thread is allready becoming a pseudosocialcircus. My beloved brother is an INFJ. I hope some of this gave you information you can use. Knowing my brother, i think some advise to you was stuff that you already knew. Yet done with very good intentions, which also something that you already know. The restraining order is probably the best route. In this day and age, at least he is aquiring a negative paper trail. But if he keeps buggin ya, that only means he hasn't yet found another source of social pray to feed his alcoholism induced insecurities.

But had this not become a pseudosocialcircus we wouldn't have found out about the (restraining order) concept. My appologies folks.

 

[CzeCze]

I dated this guy (we went out about 3 times not dating exclusively either) and I ended it because he was always calling me stupid for not agreeing with him (he said he was joking but you have to wonder) Explained to me how I was a sociopath, and that he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I need to pull my head out of my *** and not let him get away. More so - he called me ignorant for not following his beliefs and for not calling him. (He is an atheist and I am not, but I wasnt talking about the subject) When I was driving he grabbed the car wheel (he doesnt have a license, but I do) and said he wanted to teach me to drive. He also said how useless I was ( I work, pay my own bills, live on my own, while he doesnt work, lives with his mom and spends his money on alchol) Anyways he keeps leaving me messages and sending angry texts to me, and wants me to attend his social functions (he is enlisting) and I just want to be left alone (yes he got the INFJ doorslam) but he keeps trying to come back...is this normal for ENFPs and what do you do about these types of people?

Oh hell no, that is not normal for type, even for an 'unhealthy' or 'immature' ENFP. At worst he'd be whiny and manipulative, not actually verbally abusive, at least if you follow stereotypes.

You sure he's ENFP?

Beyond that, yeah, this kid has issues. Doorslam approved!

 

[briochick]

Rainbow: I know that several things have been discussed here already but I just wanted to emphasise some things for you.

I think I have a unique point of view since I was diagnosed with the disorder your...harasser claims to have. Borderline sucks. I have never known a borderline (and I was part of a support group so I've known a fair few) who displayed narcisist traits like that without having known someone for quite some time, and never without a trigger. In addition many people with bpd don't insult. For example; someone who cuts themselves when sad, and throws things when angry. Someone who will get giddy sometimes for no apparent reason or accassionally say something really twisted. Whose statements in general don't seem to quite match reality, especially when talking about other people. And, who can osscilate day to day or month to month between thinking someone is praise worthy and evil. Those are all traits of BPD. Someone who is manipulative/abusive, though it seems different, would often also be considered as having BPD. I hate to say it but this guy doesn't sound bpd.

Second, sociopath as termed by dictionary.com:1. –noun Psychiatry. a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
2. Someone whose social behavior is extremely abnormal. Sociopaths are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others.

It seemed almost as though you were using the second definition Rainbows, and everyone else was using the first. That could have been my own impression though. I had a professor who when he said sociopath didn't mean crazy but meant a person who saw no reason behind social constructs and niceties and so used them for his or her own personal gain because he believe that to be the base purpose in the first place rather than seeing social behavior in as a purpose in itself. Right....I don't know if that was helpful. I think perhaps he sounds a bit more like the first definition of sociopath though, and that's not good.

Third.
Restraining. Order. I know you're nice. I know you like funny people (you said so), but you have got to keep away from this guy, and more importantly keep this guy away from you. I don't trust that he won't do you harm and it would be dangerous for you to let him back into your life for *any* reason. A taser would also be a very good idea. mace spray, a small blow horn, or a retractable bully club are also ideas. Please be safe.