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  1. #1
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Default How do you take criticism

    For me criticism means one of two things.

    I always analyze what they say from an impersonal angle and then discover that either..

    The critic correctly pointed out a flaw in my performance/character, I appreciate them giving me an opportunity for personal growth

    or the critic made a false claim and then I just dismiss them and move on.

    What does criticism mean to NFs, and what are your most natural reactions to the aforementioned. I'd like to hear from NFPs especially.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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  2. #2
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Well, it depends on the context. If it seems the person is criticizing me to help me, and I find their criticism sound, then I accept it and try to improve myself. If I don't find it sound, then I carefully explain why I disagree, and ask them if they still have a problem with my position.

    If it seems like they are attacking my character or trying to make me look bad, then I feel threatened, and I try to discredit them. If I can't discredit the person, then I feel hurt, but wonder if they're right. Then I hold on to the criticism, and ask several people if they believe this person was right about me. If they were, then I try to improve myself. If they weren't, I feel relieved.

    If their intent isn't obvious, then I just examine their criticism for validity, and if it's valid, I accept it, and change my argument to accommodate it. If it isn't valid, then I explain why it wasn't valid. I feel somewhat ill at ease when I can't determine intent, however.

  3. #3

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    I tend to criticize myself more than others criticize me

    When others criticize it depemnds on the situation as to what I do

    If a whole group is criticizing me all at once I feel threatened and tend not to say much for a while and I also usually look down at the ground and also tend not to listen to the whole group as I feel they have picked on me.

    If one person has come up to me and criticized me I usually listen to what the person has to say and go and think about it for a while. I also ask a lot of different people whether they think the person was right to criticize and I usually get annoyed because some agree with the person and others don't.

  4. #4
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Depends on wether it's meant to help or hurt. If it's meant in a genuinely constructive way, I think about it and decide what I can do to fix it and advance, if it's just meant for the sake of being mean I usually respond very agressively.
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  5. #5
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Usually, I listen with a neutral countenance, agree with the person, thank them for bringing it to my attention, then go to my room and commit sepuku
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  6. #6
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Usually, I listen with a neutral countenance, agree with the person, thank them for bringing it to my attention, then go to my room and commit sepuku
    This one.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  7. #7
    Wait, what? Varelse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Usually, I listen with a neutral countenance, agree with the person, thank them for bringing it to my attention, then go to my room and commit sepuku
    Absolutely.
    We are not poets
    We have no right to make amendments

  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I usually go into my room, then get distracted on the Internet and never get out the knife...
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    i hate being criticized whether its helpful criticism or not. It makes me feel like people are taking personal shots at me, so i generally don't take criticism well.
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  10. #10
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Usually, I listen with a neutral countenance, agree with the person, thank them for bringing it to my attention, then go to my room and commit sepuku
    You took the good one

    The source of the criticism usually determines how well I take it. For some reason if a stranger or a person who doesn't know me very well criticizes me, I take that more personally than someone who knows me well. Sometimes I think people that know me well know my faults so they're complaining about them more than critiquing me. A stranger doesn't know my faults so if they're that glaringly obvious that somebody can pick them out quickly it hits me harder.

    Constructive criticism offered with solutions doesn't bother me.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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