• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[MBTI General] How do you take criticism

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,504
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
For me criticism means one of two things.

I always analyze what they say from an impersonal angle and then discover that either..

The critic correctly pointed out a flaw in my performance/character, I appreciate them giving me an opportunity for personal growth

or the critic made a false claim and then I just dismiss them and move on.

What does criticism mean to NFs, and what are your most natural reactions to the aforementioned. I'd like to hear from NFPs especially.
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Well, it depends on the context. If it seems the person is criticizing me to help me, and I find their criticism sound, then I accept it and try to improve myself. If I don't find it sound, then I carefully explain why I disagree, and ask them if they still have a problem with my position.

If it seems like they are attacking my character or trying to make me look bad, then I feel threatened, and I try to discredit them. If I can't discredit the person, then I feel hurt, but wonder if they're right. Then I hold on to the criticism, and ask several people if they believe this person was right about me. If they were, then I try to improve myself. If they weren't, I feel relieved.

If their intent isn't obvious, then I just examine their criticism for validity, and if it's valid, I accept it, and change my argument to accommodate it. If it isn't valid, then I explain why it wasn't valid. I feel somewhat ill at ease when I can't determine intent, however.
 

geminigirl

New member
Joined
Aug 9, 2007
Messages
47
I tend to criticize myself more than others criticize me

When others criticize it depemnds on the situation as to what I do

If a whole group is criticizing me all at once I feel threatened and tend not to say much for a while and I also usually look down at the ground and also tend not to listen to the whole group as I feel they have picked on me.

If one person has come up to me and criticized me I usually listen to what the person has to say and go and think about it for a while. I also ask a lot of different people whether they think the person was right to criticize and I usually get annoyed because some agree with the person and others don't.
 

Brendan

Guerilla Urbanist
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
911
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Depends on wether it's meant to help or hurt. If it's meant in a genuinely constructive way, I think about it and decide what I can do to fix it and advance, if it's just meant for the sake of being mean I usually respond very agressively.
 

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
MBTI Type
ENTP
Usually, I listen with a neutral countenance, agree with the person, thank them for bringing it to my attention, then go to my room and commit sepuku :D
 

Ivy

Strongly Ambivalent
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
23,989
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6
Usually, I listen with a neutral countenance, agree with the person, thank them for bringing it to my attention, then go to my room and commit sepuku :D

This one. :hug:
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I usually go into my room, then get distracted on the Internet and never get out the knife... :(
 

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
Messages
2,106
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
i hate being criticized whether its helpful criticism or not. It makes me feel like people are taking personal shots at me, so i generally don't take criticism well.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
Usually, I listen with a neutral countenance, agree with the person, thank them for bringing it to my attention, then go to my room and commit sepuku :D

You took the good one :sadbanana:

The source of the criticism usually determines how well I take it. For some reason if a stranger or a person who doesn't know me very well criticizes me, I take that more personally than someone who knows me well. Sometimes I think people that know me well know my faults so they're complaining about them more than critiquing me. A stranger doesn't know my faults so if they're that glaringly obvious that somebody can pick them out quickly it hits me harder.

Constructive criticism offered with solutions doesn't bother me.
 

Sahara

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
927
MBTI Type
INFP
I handle it differently depending on my mood and who is doing it in what context.

Bad/Sad mood = take it personally
Good/Happy mood = take it in my stride in a good way

Friend = it's ok as long as it's not a sad day
Outsider - it is never ok no matter what day
 

Eve

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
64
I handle it differently depending on my mood and who is doing it in what context.

Bad/Sad mood = take it personally
Good/Happy mood = take it in my stride in a good way

Friend = it's ok as long as it's not a sad day
Outsider - it is never ok no matter what day

It’s similar here. It depends on who delivers the criticism, how and the timing. If it's someone I don't know I'll most likely ignore. If it's a friend, then I will consider, though may be not right away. I'll talk to other people, see if they have the same impression, if it is in my best interest to change/accommodate, I'll do it. If it's a friend, however, I'll most likely take as a 'feedback' rather than criticism.

I prefer when people bring me the concern and let me handle it, rather than give me 'advice' on how to solve the problem. If I ask for their opinion, than I'm open to their suggestion. There was an issue that my ESTJ friend brought up once that I was happy she came out and told me about it, however, when she proceed with "here is the problem and that's how you should solve it," that's when I stop listening.
 
Last edited:

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,504
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
i hate being criticized whether its helpful criticism or not. It makes me feel like people are taking personal shots at me, so i generally don't take criticism well.


That was a very honest and forthright response, thank you.
 

Meursault

New member
Joined
May 29, 2007
Messages
44
criticism of my appearance or of me as a human or of how i treat some one often lodges inside of me, but criticism of my intellect roles off.
 

J1129

New member
Joined
May 20, 2007
Messages
35
MBTI Type
INFJ
I do not take criticism well. A good example is when in one of my English classes in high school, the teacher wanted us to come in to speak with him one-on-one and revise our essays. Basically, you had to come in & revise it with him to get a good grade. Due to my shyness & fear of criticism, I never went in to see him & so my essay grades reflected that. I do not like criticism at all & I am the type of person who lives by "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all."
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I generally take criticism with a twist of lime. :party2:

Respect and trust between parties is fundamental to how criticism is offered and received.
 

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,504
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I do not take criticism well. A good example is when in one of my English classes in high school, the teacher wanted us to come in to speak with him one-on-one and revise our essays. Basically, you had to come in & revise it with him to get a good grade. Due to my shyness & fear of criticism, I never went in to see him & so my essay grades reflected that. I do not like criticism at all & I am the type of person who lives by "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all."

:)
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
It depends on the subject that's being criticised. If it's something I've done or some mode of thinking I have, then I can take it a little personally (thought usually I don't) and wonder, in my sudden case of doubt, if I've been doing everything wrong all this time. Usually that's not the case, and I do like the opportunity to change my thinking.

If it's my artwork, I don't mind as long as it's constructive. It's incredibly important to me that I make my work as solid and effective in its entirety as possible, so I usually appreciate it. (However, if someone just goes "I don't like it" and they have no idea why, then I'll just dismiss them.)

But if it's something I've written (as in...an essay or something of greater merit than say forum posts), I take that really personally and end up tearing up a little bit and wanting to cry...and then generally feel ashamed and a bit like a baby--this also happens with admonishments from teachers, which is why I'm always the 'goody goody' in classes. I'm still not sure why I do this.. I guess it's because it feels like someone's telling me my inner self is wrong...like it's not okay to be me. With my artwork, I put myself in it, but it's not quite the same. It's image-based rather than purely thought-based.
 

Lethe

Obsession.
Joined
Aug 26, 2007
Messages
801
MBTI Type
iNtJ
Enneagram
152
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Hmmmm... I've been criticized all my life, so I've learned to develop a tough mind for it. Yet, there are always those few instances where such comments hit home (and I often choose to ignore it), but otherwise, I happily take them in with a grain of salt. Who knows? Perhaps what the person says may help improve myself regardless whether or not it was meant with hostile intent.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
Friend = it's ok as long as it's not a sad day
Outsider - it is never ok no matter what day

Strange. For me, it's the exact opposite: I don't give a shit about what an outsider thinks of me, but if a person I'm very close with criticizes me, I take it very personally (yes, I'm not easy to live with in this matter, people (girlfriends, basically) have to learn about this trait and modify their behavior according).
 
Top