User Tag List

First 34567 Last

Results 41 to 50 of 68

  1. #41
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    TIGR
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    5,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Somebody called me a bitch today and it was the best compliment I got all day.
    lol, How nice! Maybe they meant Babe In Total Control of Herself.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  2. #42
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENfP
    Enneagram
    8w9 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,219

    Default

    The correctness of BW never ceases to make me roflol.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  3. #43
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    644

    Default

    Context is everything. If the person is criticizing me to help me...I listen, ponder it and if it's sound I take it to heart and try to improve myself. If it's not sound (and I find this after pondering) I ask them to explain themselves further. If it's just someone attacking me. I walk away. I won't lie it stays with me for awhile but I can recognize the dif (in most cases) betwen constructive criticism and an attack. Like Athenian tho even with an attack I might ask someone else who I trust. Is this right...this criticism..and if the person I trust says yes. I'll work on it..

    I had this happen to me not long ago (well it doesn't seem long ago but I suppose 2 years is) I can remember everything this person said. I took it to heart because it was someone I truly considered a friend. It took me a long time to realize that the criticism was a way for this person to explain their irrational behavior. The good thing that came out of it was I considered something about myself that I hadn't thought about and truly realized I'm ok.

    Sometimes you don't think about how you are in certainly circumstances..I had to because I was told I was being a certain way...I stepped back. looked, examined and didn't see it. I asked other trusted friends and they didn't see it either. It turned into an affirming situation for me in the end.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  4. #44
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 so/sx
    Posts
    3,467

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    Like Athenian tho even with an attack I might ask someone else who I trust. Is this right...this criticism..and if the person I trust says yes. I'll work on it..

    end.
    Imagine if you had full grasp of your Ti you would not need to ask anyone if its right or not, but merely could figure it out yourself. And even if it is true, that's nothing to fear, but is actually a good thing. Because now you have an opportunity to grow, that you otherwise would not have, have you not been criticized.

    All in all, Thinking, especially Introverted Thinking is worth developing. As this not only allays the anxiety we associate with being criticized but makes criticism seem like an old friend.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  5. #45
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    I've been pondering this for a few minutes, and I'll try to be as honest as possible.

    First off - in general I'm incredibly hard on myself, so I believe I'm aware of nearly all of my 'faults'/weaknesses; sometimes I can get stuck focusing on just those, so that I have a hard time re-focusing on what my good qualities are.

    So, on the surface, I tend to not be *surprised*, or take outward offense, when I am criticized/questioned, because usually the critique doesn't catch me completely off guard - I'm already aware of that fault on some level. I'm not outwardly reactive to negative criticism. I usually listen quietly, and then withdraw, so as to think about it. But then sometimes I will agree with the person, or see immediately what they've pointed out, and then I'll immediately work on it.

    But when they hit below the belt, that's when it quickly becomes internalized. I think this is why...when it's a below-the-belt attack on character, to me it usually speaks more towards my relationship with that person, and how I have impacted them and their emotions. It then enters the realm of how I come across to people, and how I might affect people in a positive or negative way.

    Once it's internalized, I might spend days thinking about it, if not months. I suppose I tend to believe there must be kernals of truth (maybe not complete truth, but kernals of truth) in every critique, so I try to figure out what might have led to the person viewing me that way, or whether it might instead simply be more that the other person has a perspective such that he's the one with blinders on....or things like that. And ultimately it comes down to: Do I NEED and want to work on this aspect of myself that was critiqued, or do I feel that there's nothing inherantly WRONG with this aspect, that it is something that is integral to who I am, but it just couldn't coexist with that other person and their personality? So, this is why for the big things, it might take many months of self-reflection, because I might delve down to the core of my identity.

    But yeah, I'd lie if I said criticism didn't affect me. For example, 3 months ago, a friendship ended, and while I felt I left things maturely, the other person was quite..mean..at the end. On the surface, I didn't care initially, because I knew the friendship was ending, we were growing apart, she was pretty unhealthy, and I knew by that point that our personalities did not mesh well at all. But, 3 months later, I'm still thinking about it, and questioning my role in all of it, and I'm realizing the criticism affected me much more deeply than I had initially thought.

    So, I guess it's criticism regarding my character/personality traits/who I AM that I take personally; but in the work-environment, I tend to not care so much about criticism regarding my skills...but then, I tend to pass with flying colors and my skills are rarely questioned....

  6. #46
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Strange. For me, it's the exact opposite: I don't give a shit about what an outsider thinks of me, but if a person I'm very close with criticizes me, I take it very personally (yes, I'm not easy to live with in this matter, people (girlfriends, basically) have to learn about this trait and modify their behavior according).


    Quote Originally Posted by developer View Post
    I fire them.


    I find a lot of people are not very honest about how they take criticism. I've heard a lot of people say that "if I see that I've done something wrong, I always own up to it and apologise", but in reality, they stick to this to the letter: if THEY see that they've done something, yes, they beat themselves up and harp on about it forever (apparently strategically picking 'faults' that nobody else is really bothered about so they can be assured of lots of sympathy and comments like "no, everyone does that" or "there's nothing wrong with..." or "you're entitled to... from time to time" etc). But if someone else sees an error on their part and tries to point it out to them, they deny it to the death and will bring up anything from the past, present or future to support the idea that whatever they did, it was someone else's fault and/or totally justified.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #47
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I find a lot of people are not very honest about how they take criticism. I've heard a lot of people say that "if I see that I've done something wrong, I always own up to it and apologise", but in reality, they stick to this to the letter: if THEY see that they've done something, yes, they beat themselves up and harp on about it forever (apparently strategically picking 'faults' that nobody else is really bothered about so they can be assured of lots of sympathy and comments like "no, everyone does that" or "there's nothing wrong with..." or "you're entitled to... from time to time" etc). But if someone else sees an error on their part and tries to point it out to them, they deny it to the death and will bring up anything from the past, present or future to support the idea that whatever they did, it was someone else's fault and/or totally justified.
    Sad but true. The stereotype would be saying it's more of a J thing. Whether it's correct or not I'm not certain of. I know I do it when somebody mentions something that creates a big kink in what I'm working on. It's a difficult thing to self correct because I instinctively take any criticism as personal attack. I see my ideas and my work as a reflection of who I am. I know that's not the case at all, but the impulse is hard to ignore. That leads to my need to withdraw and to think things through alone... conscious override of irrational thoughts.

    Then again, at time I have a tendency to beat myself up upon receiving criticism. Attributing everything that went wrong as my fault. The exact opposite reaction as above but also quite senseless.

    In short, I don't handle large doses of criticism well. It's something I need to work on.

  8. #48
    Senior Member surgery's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    Four
    Posts
    258

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    If you are truly objective, you will only focus on what is said. Who it came from should not matter.



    2) You do not respect the person because he has a hidden agenda, and not because his statements lack merit? That is an ad hominem logical fallacy. Since he lacks integrity, because you know he has a hidden agenda (therefore is insincere), and because of this character defect of his, his statement must be rejected. This is an error in reasoning because you claim that the statement is to be rejected without showing how it leads to falsehood.





    It should not matter if you're better than them or not, how good they are is irrelevant it only matters what they say. Imagine an expert mechanic training a teenager. He shows the boy a chart on how a car is to be constructed and then himself misses one detail. The boy looks at the chart and notices the detail the mechanic missed, and points it out to him. Does it mean that since the boy has less skill than a mechanic, he therefore is not capable of pointing out an error that he commited? That is a palpable falsehood, as we both see that statement A(propounded by mechanic) is contravened by statement B (propounded by the boy). We do not need to note that the statement B was propounded by the boy to notice that it is epistemically superior than statement A. Hence, this supports my previous claim that knowledge of the author of the claim is irrelevant. Only the claim itself is relevant.


    Your opinion of the person is not relevant when it comes to the assessment of soundness of the propounded criticism.



    See the example of an amateur mechanic pointing out the error of an expert mechanic.


    All this is compounded if they

    3) Have a superior attitude and NO reason to. I am a really open-minded, tolerant person, but I cannot STAND mediocre sucky people who are full of themselves i.e too stupid and talentless to realize that they have no talent and are mediocre and actually think they have talent OR they are desperately clawing and rasping to the top and basically talking out of their asses because they must constantly be bombastic and act like they are in charge.



    Quality of one's writings should not be assessed in terms of one's adherence to the grammatical convention.

    Quality of writing should be assessed in terms of one's ability to express thoughts as faithfully to what one has had in mind as possible.

    Writing is mere expression. People often would say Charles Dickens is a good writer because he wrote compelling literature that has had a profound impact worldwide. They are not praising his writing, they are merely praising his ideas. It was not the way he wrote that moved people, but what he wrote. One can be a good thinker and a bad writer. Dostoevsky is the case in point. Brothers Karamazov, The Idiot, Crime and Punishment, Notes From Underground should be considered to be among the supreme literature known to man. Yet, they were indeed poorly written. Dostoevksy notoriously broke all rules of punctuation and his thoughts followed in radically idiosyncratic patterns. Not only was it difficult to understand what he was saying because his punctuation made it difficult for one to see what he was focusing on, but also he was out of tune with the perceptions of his readers due to the discrepancies between what he expected his readers to perceive and what they truly tended to perceive after reading his statements.


    Oh, that's awfully critical -- so much so that it even hurts me.
    "Why had he never appreciated what a miracle he was, brain and nerve and bounding heart?"

  9. #49
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    552

    Default

    I have done it all... if the criticism is done with love, than I apologize profusely over and over again, and I beat myself up thinking about it for days on end. I'll even cry about it because I am embarrassed, and I feel like it's a personal reflection of my inadequate self. No matter what, all of my life, most criticisms felt like personal attacks.

    If it is done by an ass to humiliate me (corrective or my personal character -- but mainly my intelligence), than of course I am biting mad and will lose my mind (inside of my mind - mostly never outwardly) and cry, which of course, embarrasses me even further. Than I think about what I SHOULD have said so much that it drives me to madness. I eventually have to type the whole scenario out... what he said, what I SHOULD have said and how it SHOULD have put him in his place. Than I feel better, but it's a long drawn out process.

    I never ever want to be a drama queen, but I can admit that I have lost it before. As I have gotten older, I have learned to muzzle those inadequate feelings inside, and I take criticism much more objectively.
    -Sandy
    I - 75% N - 55% F - 55% P - 61%
    Enneagram 4w5

    There is love... in the red letters
    There is truth... in the red letters

  10. #50
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Posts
    232

    Default

    Usually if it's well intended, I am grateful; I'm always looking for ways to improve myself and someone who is honest enough to point out something I haven't addressed wins my respect. However, it's meant with some sort of malicious intent- then I think the one who is criticizing is somehow incompetent and insecure and can figure out all of his insecurities by what he's saying projected towards me.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 45
    Last Post: 02-13-2011, 11:46 AM
  2. how do you take this?
    By prplchknz in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-26-2010, 09:25 PM
  3. How Seriously Do You Take The MBTI?
    By Gloriana in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 42
    Last Post: 08-19-2009, 08:23 PM
  4. How Seriously Do You Take the Rep System?
    By heart in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 61
    Last Post: 02-07-2008, 10:53 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO