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  1. #21
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Strange. For me, it's the exact opposite: I don't give a shit about what an outsider thinks of me, but if a person I'm very close with criticizes me, I take it very personally (yes, I'm not easy to live with in this matter, people (girlfriends, basically) have to learn about this trait and modify their behavior according).

    Here we should draw a distinction between criticism and attack on character. Criticism is an objective remark aimed at pointing our an error. Attack on character is an expression of personal disapproval.

    We all are more likely to suffer more from disapproval from a friend than from a stranger. However, Feelers tend to be unable to avoid confusing diapproval from criticism when it comes from a stranger. When it comes from a friend, they'd be able to see that it truly is a criticism as opposed to an attack on character, despite that it feels initially like an attack on character. Moreover, in that case they would be more likely to tend to think that it was a criticism rather than an attack on character because they expect that the friend has their best interests in mind. Therefore he/she would be more likely to point out errors for the Feeler's own good, as opposed to take shots at them. For the reason they'd be more open to critical comments from 'friends' than non-friends because they deem for them to be less likely to be attacks on character. If it comes from a stranger, they likely will go with the initial feeling that it was a disapproval and treat the act as such.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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  2. #22
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    I even take not good enough compliments as criticism,lol.
    That was good.
    Good- it's not great?!. I wanted it to be great.
    Inside I'm feeling- I'm a failure!

    Can you say artistically tempermental?

    I take everything personally too and am overly sensitive. But I am fine after I have had a chance to react and go through my emotions=then I am capable of logically reacting to it. A lot of times though- If I am a deer in headlights- and freeze and am unable to react at the time a crticism is given-It will stay with me longer -maybe forever and will get me more emotional and emotional toward it unless I make sure I get CLOSURE with the person and am able to REACT. Good friends make sure they pull out my emotions and allow me to react and know after that I will be very reasonable and can listen and be more rational.

    I don't take any criticism/critique well at first. I have my emotional reaction and beat myself up extremely easily and or get defensive extremely easily but if it is from a friend- I will take it seriously and ponder it but if it is also from a friend they will know how I am and make sure that they balance a "knock down" or a negative with a "lifting up" comment and positive reassuring statement along with the criticism or critique.

    I was the type of kid and still am in a metaphorical sense where for every spanking or scolding I needed 30 hugs and warm fuzzies,lol.
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
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  3. #23
    Senior Member tovlo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    I even take not good enough compliments as criticism,lol.
    That was good.
    Good- it's not great?!. I wanted it to be great.
    Inside I'm feeling- I'm a failure!

    Can you say artistically tempermental?

    I take everything personally too and am overly sensitive. But I am fine after I have had a chance to react and go through my emotions=then I am capable of logically reacting to it. A lot of times though- If I am a deer in headlights- and freeze and am unable to react at the time a crticism is given-It will stay with me longer -maybe forever and will get me more emotional and emotional toward it unless I make sure I get CLOSURE with the person and am able to REACT. Good friends make sure they pull out my emotions and allow me to react and know after that I will be very reasonable and can listen and be more rational.

    I don't take any criticism/critique well at first. I have my emotional reaction and beat myself up extremely easily and or get defensive extremely easily but if it is from a friend- I will take it seriously and ponder it but if it is also from a friend they will know how I am and make sure that they balance a "knock down" or a negative with a "lifting up" comment and positive reassuring statement along with the criticism or critique.

    I was the type of kid and still am in a metaphorical sense where for every spanking or scolding I needed 30 hugs and warm fuzzies,lol.
    "We don't see things as they are,
    we see things as we are."
    ...Anais Nin

  4. #24
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    I usually try to consider if they are right, and then try to take responsibility if they are ("You're right, I'm sorry, I'll work on that") and I'll try to improve. If I disagree, I'll either tell them I disagree, or just walk away and feel bad...

  5. #25
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    If it's constructive criticism of, like, an essay I've written for a class, I don't mind.

    Otherwise, if I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

    Edit: I just read the rest of Ladypinkington's post. Ugh! I know what you mean about the getting into trouble thing. When my youngest son started Kindergarten, I went into the school for the first few days to try to help him get a feel for what he was supposed to do when he first got there and one day it was a crazy morning and I hadn't signed in and put my visitor tag on. One of the teachers called me down on it and the way she did it wasn't very nice or friendly. I was so angry and humiliated. I was thirty-something and I had to really clamp down on myself in order to keep from crying.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #26
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    @cafe

    Exactly right.
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
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    A Christian's life may be the only Bible some people ever read.
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    "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them" Maya Angelou.
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    I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi
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  7. #27
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    Default critisism

    ...if they call me a bitch, i take it rather well



    sadly..... thats not true

  8. #28
    Wait, what? Varelse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shen View Post
    ...if they call me a bitch, i take it rather well



    sadly..... thats not true


    That's when I pwn their butt.
    We are not poets
    We have no right to make amendments

  9. #29
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Somebody called me a bitch today and it was the best compliment I got all day.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  10. #30
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    by that time me dear....its no longer visible meep meep......

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