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  1. #1
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Default ENFP-When is it safe for Fi to come out?

    So my older son is 13 and due to very poor coordination and being ADHD gets some special accomadations at school. Basically he can type papers rather than have to write them all by hand.

    Every so often they redo the IQ tests and psych evals, and I had a meeting yesterday with the psychologist and teachers just to review results.

    The psych's first concern was his lack of "depth". For someone of his IQ she expected him to show more intellectual depth. The example was she asked him three wishes. Instead of world peace or ending hunger, he asked for 1) the goldfish to come back to life (we never had a goldfish) 2) the cat to come back to life (car-cat interaction went badly) 3) for it to snow in Texas during the winter. I thought these were hysterically funny myself but she said they showed lack of depth.

    She also said that he "doesnt understand his own emotions". She based this on the observation that whenever she asked him about things that had an emotional context he would make a joke out of them or detour the conversation around the emotional context onto something else.

    I looked at her like she was a little slow, as it is obvious to me that as an ENFP, he doesnt trust her with his emotions. Why would you expose that raw Fi core to a total stranger?

    Questions:

    1) Is this an generic ENFP and INFP thing to do? ie hide that core away?
    2) If so why are we so insecure about letting others see it?

  2. #2
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    So my older son is 13 and due to very poor coordination and being ADHD gets some special accomadations at school. Basically he can type papers rather than have to write them all by hand.

    Every so often they redo the IQ tests and psych evals, and I had a meeting yesterday with the psychologist and teachers just to review results.

    The psych's first concern was his lack of "depth". For someone of his IQ she expected him to show more intellectual depth. The example was she asked him three wishes. Instead of world peace or ending hunger, he asked for 1) the goldfish to come back to life (we never had a goldfish) 2) the cat to come back to life (car-cat interaction went badly) 3) for it to snow in Texas during the winter. I thought these were hysterically funny myself but she said they showed lack of depth.

    She also said that he "doesnt understand his own emotions". She based this on the observation that whenever she asked him about things that had an emotional context he would make a joke out of them or detour the conversation around the emotional context onto something else.

    I looked at her like she was a little slow, as it is obvious to me that as an ENFP, he doesnt trust her with his emotions. Why would you expose that raw Fi core to a total stranger?

    Questions:

    1) Is this an generic ENFP and INFP thing to do? ie hide that core away?
    2) If so why are we so insecure about letting others see it?
    Yes. Because it's like exposing yourself naked in front of others.

    Fi comes out when it's safe environment with trusted people.

    Remember also that he is still young and his personality and traits are developing. According to the theory, the second function develops during 10-20 years old. So, he might be just developing his Fi, if the theory has any reality based stuff in it.

  3. #3
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    The psych's first concern was his lack of "depth". For someone of his IQ she expected him to show more intellectual depth. The example was she asked him three wishes. Instead of world peace or ending hunger, he asked for 1) the goldfish to come back to life (we never had a goldfish) 2) the cat to come back to life (car-cat interaction went badly) 3) for it to snow in Texas during the winter. I thought these were hysterically funny myself but she said they showed lack of depth.

    She also said that he "doesnt understand his own emotions". She based this on the observation that whenever she asked him about things that had an emotional context he would make a joke out of them or detour the conversation around the emotional context onto something else.

    I looked at her like she was a little slow, as it is obvious to me that as an ENFP, he doesnt trust her with his emotions. Why would you expose that raw Fi core to a total stranger?

    Questions:

    1) Is this an generic ENFP and INFP thing to do? ie hide that core away?
    2) If so why are we so insecure about letting others see it?
    yeah ur son is just f-cking with her. haha

    she's prolly mad bc she knows he's f-cking iwth her, so to scare u is her way of getting back at him, in some weird way. but i think its one of those things where the person will never admit thats what they were really thinking.

    just tell ur son to stop f-cking with her, and apologize or something. then magically he'll probably get a good recommendation from her.

  4. #4
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Therapist sounds like she has a stick up her butt. I mean, I need to ask for world peace to show depth? Talk about cliche.

    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post

    1) Is this an generic ENFP and INFP thing to do? ie hide that core away?
    2) If so why are we so insecure about letting others see it?
    1) Yes.
    2) My values are my core. Sharing them makes me incredibly vulnerable, and if I feel the other person is overly judgmental or stands 0% chance of getting it, I'll simply pass. I'm guessing your son saw through her and decided not to play her game.

  5. #5
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    So my older son is 13 and due to very poor coordination and being ADHD gets some special accomadations at school. Basically he can type papers rather than have to write them all by hand.

    Every so often they redo the IQ tests and psych evals, and I had a meeting yesterday with the psychologist and teachers just to review results.

    The psych's first concern was his lack of "depth". For someone of his IQ she expected him to show more intellectual depth. The example was she asked him three wishes. Instead of world peace or ending hunger, he asked for 1) the goldfish to come back to life (we never had a goldfish) 2) the cat to come back to life (car-cat interaction went badly) 3) for it to snow in Texas during the winter. I thought these were hysterically funny myself but she said they showed lack of depth.

    She also said that he "doesnt understand his own emotions". She based this on the observation that whenever she asked him about things that had an emotional context he would make a joke out of them or detour the conversation around the emotional context onto something else.

    I looked at her like she was a little slow, as it is obvious to me that as an ENFP, he doesnt trust her with his emotions. Why would you expose that raw Fi core to a total stranger?

    Questions:

    1) Is this an generic ENFP and INFP thing to do? ie hide that core away?
    2) If so why are we so insecure about letting others see it?
    yep...i joke or change the subject too unless i feel like i can trust them...even then i'd rather not talk about it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #6
    Senior Member scattershot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    Instead of world peace or ending hunger, he asked for 1) the goldfish to come back to life (we never had a goldfish) 2) the cat to come back to life (car-cat interaction went badly) 3) for it to snow in Texas during the winter. I thought these were hysterically funny myself but she said they showed lack of depth.
    Those are awesome.

    I probably would have done the same thing just to mess with her. But even if I was answering seriously, I doubt I would ever wish for world peace or to end hunger. Those are such cliched, hippie-sounding answers. That seems kinda weird that she's using that question to demonstrate your son's emotional or intellectual depth.

    I'd also hide my Fi unless I had a reason to show my innermost feelings to someone. A school psychiatrist would probably not be someone I'd show that to, unless I specifically requested to see them because I was struggling. Also, I'd guess that a 13 year-old male wouldn't want to show a lot of emotion to a stranger, even if he is an ENFP.
    "I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." Frederick Douglass

  7. #7
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    This woman has lost the plot... I wonder what recommendations she has from her Psych!....Anyway, sorry.... Ok so he asked for his dead cat to come back to life.... Ressurection... how deep does she wanna get!

    As for talking through feelings... no i don't really do that either... Life is hard and tough and sad and all that... and I think that you have to learn to laugh at it... It's not that we don't understand our emotions.... we do very much so... We understand that they are painful and so we say... yea ok I do feel like crap... Lets make a joke about the fact cos there's nothing I can do to change it!
    ... couldn't drag me away

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  8. #8
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    First of all, I don't know the answer to 1 or 2..

    I will say, though, for a 13 year-old I think his statements show depth. They require a level of thinking and are certainly original!
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  9. #9
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    I'm not a strong ENFP, so my Fi comes out quite a bit, when I'm at home or by myself usually, I am more INFP. I am energized easily around friends, but not so much aquantences or people I don't know. My ENFP comes out around friends and family.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  10. #10
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah, i like his answers too. i think i'd just tell the counselor person that i thought they were great and wasn't concerned...but thanks anyway.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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