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  1. #1
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Default Is it common for INFJ's to come out of abusive/neglectful homes?

    I've read some answers that suggest this and others that haven't,
    I know what is true for myself, but what about you?

  2. #2
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I think it's a pretty common thing, in general. Many people have children before they've learned to care for themselves properly, and the children suffer for it.

    The INFJ may just be more sensitive to it than some other types.

  3. #3
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    just as any other type, of course it is possible for INFJs to come out of abusive homes.
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

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  4. #4
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Maybe its more the introversion trait than anything else..but I wonder how the perception is developed. Surely it involves an enviroment in which it needs to be developed?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Nope, my family was never abusive or neglectful. They were quite dysfunctional, however. Lots of arguments and "secret" carrying for my brother and I. You know, "Don't tell so-and-so this, but she's a bitch." and the other way round.

    But I think most people develop personalities based on inherent tendencies in how they respond to situations. Someone who might be an ESTP might not be nearly as emotionally effected and would grow up and continue to be as confident as they were the day they were born. Whereas an INFJ might not.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
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  6. #6
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
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    I come from a very, very loving and caring family.

    However, that doesn't mean I was happy there.

  7. #7
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    Not the best, not the worst. Somewhat abusive.

  8. #8

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    Coincidence? I don't know. But I definitely grew up in an abusive household as did my mother. My INTP father was abused by his uncle. I also suspect that although my mother is an ESFJ (and has tested as such), she behaves like a warped ISTJ. Reaction to extreme trauma? Maybe.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  9. #9
    Senior Member StoryOfMyLife's Avatar
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    I'm fairly certain that any type could come from a neglectful/abusive household, though perhaps it is true that INFJ or I types are more receptive to it than others...

    Growing up, I suffered from a lot of abuse- be it verbal, mental, or physical. My mother was single and too proud sometimes to just accept help from other family members, yet also then liked to play the victim card in saying that it was all my fault that she had to be a parent so young. [Yes, she used to tell me it was my fault I was born and that she should have gone through with the abortion her best friend talked her out of doing]. Then she married my step-dad who proceeded to abuse <i>her</i> for the first, oh...5 or 6 years they were married. And I got the brunt of the accusations as being the reason WHY they fought so often. On top of trying to keep my little brothers sheltered from that as much as I could...

    My mom has gotten much less aggressive, as has my step-father [he's still a jack ass regardless] and for the worst of it, I suppose I've come out better than some people might have. My middle brother is having a lot of emotional issues, though they are being worked through [he is an ENTP, however]- and the youngest of us seems to have no cares in the world...I don't know if this is because most of the worst happened when I was a child, or if I was just more sensitive to it all.
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  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by StoryOfMyLife View Post
    I'm fairly certain that any type could come from a neglectful/abusive household, though perhaps it is true that INFJ or I types are more receptive to it than others...

    Growing up, I suffered from a lot of abuse- be it verbal, mental, or physical. My mother was single and too proud sometimes to just accept help from other family members, yet also then liked to play the victim card in saying that it was all my fault that she had to be a parent so young. [Yes, she used to tell me it was my fault I was born and that she should have gone through with the abortion her best friend talked her out of doing]. Then she married my step-dad who proceeded to abuse <i>her</i> for the first, oh...5 or 6 years they were married. And I got the brunt of the accusations as being the reason WHY they fought so often. On top of trying to keep my little brothers sheltered from that as much as I could...

    My mom has gotten much less aggressive, as has my step-father [he's still a jack ass regardless] and for the worst of it, I suppose I've come out better than some people might have. My middle brother is having a lot of emotional issues, though they are being worked through [he is an ENTP, however]- and the youngest of us seems to have no cares in the world...I don't know if this is because most of the worst happened when I was a child, or if I was just more sensitive to it all.
    WHOA. You just described my life. I'm slightly freaked out.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

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