Wow. My mom is BPD too (in my opinion, she's not diagnosed).
Yeah, I think type can be somewhat of a response to an environment, too.
Maybe this question would work better for type 9 INFJs, actually.
Originally Posted by Lexicon
Yeah, my mom was never officially diagnosed, however she fits all the diagnostic criteria, & psychologists I have spoken with about her behavior patterns/emotional issues/turbulent interpersonal relationships, etc, have all agreed that's a likely diagnosis, though of course they couldn't be certain without offically evaluating her. Of course, my mom would never go for that. Damn black & white perspective on reality.. to her it would mean she was irreparably fucked up and insane. Which.. well.. in some ways she kinda is, but you get what I mean. The -ALL GOOD or ALL BAD- no gray area- outlook... it's gotta be so stressful to see the world that way constantly.
Just curious, what's your mom's MBTI?
Mine's an ISFJ.
I could see how the initial thread topic might apply moreso to type 9 INFJs.
I'm a 5. I think I may have used to fit the description of 9s when I was younger. I also had a lot less self value back then, something I attribute directly to upbringing/childhood experiences.. hmm.
My mental health professionals suspect my parents to be APD (sociopaths)
Both are NTs.
I fall into the traumatized group of INFJs.
Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou
St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.
I suppose it may make sense.. at least in my mind.. to psychologically survive after the upbringing I had, I needed to shut out negative emotions; tune out my own internal pain.
If I didn't.. there are times I'm pretty sure I would have given up, and ended my life.
After my brother died, I gained this increasing sense of urgency that I want to do so much with my life... and I still had a lot of emotional hurdles to get through. It became all the more 'safe' & 'beneficial for happiness/health longterm' in my subconscious, to suppress/set aside all my emotional responses to my immediate environment, unpleasant & otherwise. I mean, I still feel. It's just in a more detached sort of way.. if that makes sense..
I totally relate. BPD mom, death of a loved one...
I deal with emotions in much the same way. It's why lots of people type me as T (in real life).
(Hmmm...maybe I'm a 5...I need to think about this...)
Two of my closest INFJ friends, both females, come from very sheltered lives. One comes from a strong christian family, who just came to public school two years ago, and doesn't know the world too well. She's a straight A student, and is perfect in a lot of ways. Same for the other one, too.
I think it quite possible for INFJs to come out of troubled childhood, as they seem emotionally strong, and are leaders of their own sacred agenda. It all makes sense.
Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?
I live with an INFJ who came from an abusive home but at the same time I grew up with a total of three incredibly healthy female INFJs and one super healthy male INFJ who came from incredibly loving and supportive (though weird and unorthodox) homes.
Until this thread most of the INFJs I knew had great home lives. My own family consists of nine traumatised siblings none of which is an INFJ. I just don't think one thing has as much to with the other as this thread is implying.
I don't want to get into it too much...not being INFJ, as well....but yes. I don't have any contact with my family because of it. My mother was extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. I had no boundries with her because she didn't respect them. Nothing was sacred. I struggled to maintain a sense of self.
I had several psychs, and counsellors tell me I needed to break contact with her. The funny thing, every body now keeps telling me I'm a bad persons for doing so, though if I hadn't I would have killed myself.
I've tried to tell people my story, but people say it doesn't sound that bad...BUT it was to me.
Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.
I had several psychs, and counsellors tell me I needed to break contact with her. The funny thing, every body now keeps telling me I'm a bad persons for doing so, though if I hadn't I would have killed myself. I've tried to tell people my story, but people say it doesn't sound that bad...BUT it was to me.
If she was toxic, driving you toward suicide, then you have no choice but to protect yourself from her. That doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a sane person. If somebody is so bold to call you a bad person because of it, you should feel free to tell them they're talking out of their asses and maybe they should mind their own effing business. They weren't there, so who are they to judge?