My ex was an INFJ and we were incredibly similar. I think the main difference we had were that my compassion was extended to all humanity whereas his was limited to his close relations. Also I was more imaginative, creative, and spontaneous than him, while he was more financially and emotionally pragmatic than me.
Thanks for sharing that post. I consider most of those to be pretty true to my experience.
It suggests that an INFJ is just an INFP turned inside out (or vice versa if you wanna be annoying about it ).
Very true. In my experience, this leads to a tendency for INFPs to be optimists and INFJs to be pessimists. Your thoughts?
True. INFJs will talk about pretty much anything you ask them, but you gotta get to layer 3 or 4 before you can see them express much.
I agree, and as Lauren Ashley said, I am a pessimistic idealist.
Originally Posted by tibby
Very good list.
For me it's confusing that separating INFJ and INFP from each other would be difficult... Knowing one, we differ dramatically.
One big difference you can notice firsthand is the communication style:
INFP: There's one of those new grocery shops.
INFJ: Yeah. I saw a commercial on tv.
INFP: Are you hungry ?
INFJ: Not really. Why?
INFP: Just thought if you might be.
INFJ: Have you eaten anything today?
INFJ: Do you want to go and buy something from the store?
The way INFPs communicate seems so devious to me It'd take a lot of energy to formulate my communation that way... INFJs are more "take-charge" type and want to be direct (and would want others to be too). You can also notice it in the way the two types speak: INFPs have very soft, almost dream-like, monotonic speech pattern, whereas INFJs can talk with their enthusiasm, speaking faster than even their minds could handle.
INFPs usually look more elegant and their expressions are controlled, they have this almost stoic vibe to them. INFJs don't feel their emotions nearly as passionately nor deeply as INFPs, but you can read their emotional states from their faces and gestures.
INFPs are very private individuals, one of the most self-sacrificing type out there. They think in terms of good and bad and are over-the-top perfectionistic. INFPs don't share their innermost hurts with anyone, they can be excellent councelors to others but they themselves solve their feelings and thoughts best alone.
INFJs on the other hand can talk to the people they feel are worthy of that trust about stuff that bothers them and it helps the INFJ to solve their dilemmas by talking them through. Not talking about their issues will make INFJ ill.
INFPs don't pay much attention to their physical states: they may not notice they're hungry or needed to use the toilet or have a stomach ache etc. INFJs are almost hypocondric compared to INFPs: INFJs are very well aware of their physical conditions.
These are a few just more of a behavioural differences I've noticed.
This is very accurate. Except for the part about INFJs not feeling as deeply. I think we can both feel equally deeply, but in different ways.
I definitely agree about talking with enthusiasm and having to talk about problems with my trusted people. I must do this to sort out my dilemmas or I might go crazy. I will admit I also have a tendency to be a bit of a hypochondriac ...
Do any INFJs find relationships with INFPs a little tense (I suppose more so when the INFP is mentally unhealthy)? I think it is that whole inside out thing...
INFP and INFJ typically do NOT get along well, in my experience.
I have one band with 5 people where 4 of us each represent one of the four xNxP types, and then the fifth guy is INFJ...so he's already at odds with our perspectives on that point.
Nonetheless, he tends to get along ok with all of us except the INFP! They clash like hell.
The key difference, I think, is that the INFP's Fi views ethics as an end unto itself...INFPs wish to possess the most internally consistent ethical viewpoint because that is the end goal.
INFJ's Ni views ethics as a means to an end, though, and INFPs find that disingenuous and rather disturbing. (In truth, INFJ's dominant Ni makes him much more similar to an INTJ than to an INFP...note how well INTJ and INFJ tend to see eye to eye, but this is not true of INFJ/INFP or of INTJ/INTP. Another example of J/P being the biggest difference!)
I find that the type that shares your first three letters but not the last one tends to be one of the hardest to get along with in general...has anyone else noticed that?
If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?
^I sometimes can clash w/ ENFPs. I can find some of them to be a bit too loud, overbearing and obnoxious while they can find me to be a bit of a tight wad, rigid, and too reserved. However, I think there are many other things influencing this like the enneagram. I am a 9w1 ENFJ (there always seems to be a struggle between the In-Charge style and the e9wl) which can clash with the common 7w8 ENFP.
DISCLAIMER: I am not talking about ENFPs as a whole but based on some experiences. No one type is better than another and for all we know, this system may be completely bunk with no validity in it. Hopefully, all the bases are covered.