Sometimes it's nice to relax in. Other times it beats you up if you perform against it, your own personal set of rules. Morals I guess.
It's there with most INTJs, but some accept it's existence better than others.
It's true though, until the person is comfortable with you, you won't see it's true form. You'll see it's shadow here and there, but never the full picture (even with warm INTJs). Obviously the object itself is fragile, so it only likes to be seen by those who it knows won't hurt it.
There's some sort of wall created by Te that doesn't allow Fi to be seen, and if seen only through shadows. Of course some people can inteript the shadow and have a better idea of the full object, but they still haven't witnessed the real thing.
INTJs, creating Te walls to protect their Fi teddy bear stuffing since the dawn of man.