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  1. #1
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Default How do you stay angry as an ENFP?

    I get mad at people and within (usually) hours I forget about it.

    Sometimes it seems I let people stay in my life because of this "problem" I have. So how do you remember who to keep at an arm's distance as an ENFP?

    I wouldn't mind hearing how other less forgiving people/types deal with similar situations.

  2. #2
    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
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    It depends how badly you were wronged. If its a situation that really matters to me, I don't forget, and I know how to treat them. Otherwise, its mostly water under the bridge.

    Because you can't spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"

  3. #3
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    Generally I forgive WAY too fast.

    However, there are certain offenses that will stay in the back of my head and I will never be able to forget of completely get over them. It spoils a relationship, like finding out your boyfriend of 3-4 months lied (big) to you. You forgive but damn - always there.

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
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  4. #4
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Yeah thats definitely my problem too. How can I forgive constantly for everything but then "hate" someone for years over something I consider big.

  5. #5
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    O yeah. I'm thinking about it now. You are right. I mean - I would help them, if it was life or death - but other than that - F off.

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
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  6. #6
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Betray me or lie to me. Then I won't forget. And you'll wish you'd never been so stupid.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  7. #7
    Member hjomn's Avatar
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    Either I forget within half an hour...

    Or...

    I NEVER forget (it's like a few pixels of someone's personality are forever tainted; it might be a most wonderful picture and you might even like it, but when you look closely, you'll remember exactly why those pixels are tainted and it will subconsciously bother you, however little.)

    This only happens when somebody has really stepped on my personal values (and probably consists of 0.001% of the cases)

  8. #8
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I get mad at people and within (usually) hours I forget about it.

    Sometimes it seems I let people stay in my life because of this "problem" I have. So how do you remember who to keep at an arm's distance as an ENFP?

    I wouldn't mind hearing how other less forgiving people/types deal with similar situations.
    Right here! I'm an unforgiving and unapolgetically selfish ENFP. I also have had a life long struggle with anger - all consuming, on multiple levels.
    I've worked through a lot of the core issues and I'm much more integrated now.

    Do I get angry at people now? Sure, but I also keep good boundaries. And I have learned to value myself and my own happiness. I don't have time for energy suckers, losers, and just people who don't interest me in general. Been there, done that, moving on. I've become practical when it comes to my emotions and relationships (most of them anyway! LOL)

    I don't value myself for how nice or forgiving I am, I value myself on how happy I can be on my own terms and my focus is on me and having an adventure in life. I don't hold grudges and I don't have to get 'angry' at someone to realize it's not someone I want in my life. I have no qualms about avoiding people and keeping them out of my life. You don't have to be 'angry' to cut out negative people from your life, you just have to be smart.

    As an ENFP if you rely purely on your 'feelings' and 'mood' to dictate your relations and who you have in your life - you will stay on a roller coaster with toxic people and bad matches and drag on bad relationships for years.

    PS My problem isn't forgiving too easily. My problem is anger. Period.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  9. #9
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    The worse you treat me, the better for my conscience.

    I go at it the other way around. Instead of fighting my natural inclination to quickly forgive other people (all depends on what it is of course) I fight the circumstances that would put me in such a position. Basically, I often make first impressions of me a bit "sweet and sour" for other people so they don't get too friendly. Most people worth hating will get the hint. Of course this only really applies to forced interaction.

    The others, well...well, I hate unfinished business so I don't stay angry. I confront them until they break, either way.

  10. #10
    Senior Member FantailedWall's Avatar
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    Shoo, impostor!

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