[ENFP] How do you stay angry as an ENFP?

[seeker22]

When I get angry with somone, I get pretty cold. I'll usually try to isolate myself from them, though..time seems to heal the fustration.

It's funny, I kind of like being mad at someone, and I think to myself that I want to stay mad at this person for a while and not talk to them, but the next day I'll want to make up, and all of the anger will have deteriorated.

I guess it's a good thing, I don't really hold grudges that way.

Me too... I will completely withdraw initially... Maybe it's the Fi in us...

 

[BerberElla]

Question: Do you ever get angry at yourself for not being angry with them anymore?

Because sometimes, I do.

 

[Scott N Denver]

Question: Do you ever get angry at yourself for not being angry with them anymore?

Because sometimes, I do.

Yes, well, more like disappointed I think.

 

[ergophobe]

Question: Do you ever get angry at yourself for not being angry with them anymore?

Because sometimes, I do.

Yes, I beat myself up for not being able to feel real anger in some situations and always being able to give the person the benefit of doubt.

Elaur -- the fact that you can't remember what you were originally angry about is a positive thing. We are the type least likely to get ulcers from that sort of worrying.

I think the issue is, not letting the people we are angry at, even temporarily or should be angry at treat us badly, repeatedly. I know we all would give the person the benefit of doubt as per our programming. I think most of us would call the person out on the behavior first. I'm not sure everyone would. I'd encourage that. If directly confronted, the person is completely unwilling to explain and/or change their behavior/attitude, write down what is bothering you about them and keep it somewhere visible. When tempted to call or email or make peace or say yes to them when you know you should say no, read that again. I find that works well. I only need it to work temporarily because I will most certainly forget about them in a few minutes anyway, in true ENFP fashion.

 

[Nonsensical]

Question: Do you ever get angry at yourself for not being angry with them anymore?

Because sometimes, I do.

Oh, yeah. And even sometimes I wish I was still mad..but I can't get myself to be mad anymore. It's quite humorous.

 

[Quinlan]

Perhaps I am never treated poorly enough (it's a charmed life being a Quinlan) but I almost never get angry and if I do it is very fleeting.

 

[nomadic]

i think the best way stay mad, is to know that staying mad is the best way to make things better for the both of you ---> if its someone you care about. It takes a lot of energy, but if u care about that person, and the way to make things better... is a sure way, then do it and stick with it.