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  1. #21
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Depends. If someone gets me real mad, they have me mad for the rest of their live. BUT, if I love that person, I get really angry, but then I forgive them a few hours later, it doesn't really matter what they have done then. If someone gets me a bit mad, and I don't love that person or whatever, I tend to focus on their bad sides and after they've made me angry, I'll remember them as nerds or jerks or whatever for the rest of my life. Fortunately, I don't get angry very quickly.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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    SCUAI - 7w8 sx/sp - Chaotic Evil - Fucking Cute - ALIVE

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    If you don't agree about my MBTI type, you can complain about it here. I've had plenty of people telling me I'm something else, in my reputation box. That's annoying.

  2. #22
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    You don't, generally. We're not build for being angry.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #23
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    Great post. So true for me as an ENFP - I have a quick "recovery rate" when wronged. My friends often remark on how I have strong resilience when it comes to being wronged, and how I don't hold grudges. However, it can also keep us involved with unhealthy people.

    I think it's a matter of identifying that person's PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR. With most people who you spend time with, you know what their general behavioral patterns are.

    What is their nature? It's like the parable of the scorpion and the frog - the scorpion offers the frog a ride on his back and promises not to sting him. So, the frog hops on and the scorpion stings him and kills him - because it's the scorpion's NATURE no matter what he *promised.* He just couldn't help himself or change/resist his own nature. So, pay attention to people's natures and behavioral patterns - that is the best predictor of what can be expected.

    Of course, this is where our natural optimism and (misguided) hope can get us in trouble - we look for the best in people or believe they will change.

    Oh and I don't think we are doormats - and here's why: we WILL address the issue. We don't just sweep it under the rug. We assert ourselves. Once we address it, we drop it and move on.

    I liked the analogy of each person having their own glass that's filled with droplets of water when a wrong occurs, and to look at what level that person's glass is filled to... Thanks for sharing.

  4. #24
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    I have OP's problem. However, if I don't forget in withing like about 1 hour, then I develop a hatred that I can unleash. It's like tapping into a new source of rage.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Well I forget isolated events really quickly... until the next one. Then I remember all past transgressions. Eventually if the wrongs done outweigh the benefit of the relationship I am out of there like a shot. No explanation. No confrontation. I just drop off the face of the earth.

  6. #26
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Well I forget isolated events really quickly... until the next one. Then I remember all past transgressions. Eventually if the wrongs done outweigh the benefit of the relationship I am out of there like a shot. No explanation. No confrontation. I just drop off the face of the earth.


    This is rare and SO many chances would have to be ruined before I give up completely on the person. However once I have put the person in my "out" pile, there's no coming back. I also provide enough feedback and have absolutely no trouble expressing displeasure right up to that point on the bevy of wrongs building up so no 'additional' explanation is required once the threshold is crossed.

    For most people in my life, there is little that really gets me upset at them.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Yeah, again takes a really long time for me, too. I have a tendency to keep unhealthy influences in my life for a really long time. I always confront them about my issues but I apparently have a sign on my head that says "Don't take me seriously! I don't actually mean it when I say you can't spend all my goddamn money/borrow my clothes whenever you please/make me clean up after you/do most of this project for you. Please go right ahead!"

  8. #28
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    Great post. So true for me as an ENFP - I have a quick "recovery rate" when wronged. My friends often remark on how I have strong resilience when it comes to being wronged, and how I don't hold grudges. However, it can also keep us involved with unhealthy people.
    Me too, but it's with 50% admiration and 50% disgust at how overly forgiving I am ie half of them approve, half of them want to kick me up the backside.

    I get mad but like the OP I forget, I have been through the emotions associated with my anger at whatever they have done, and dealt with them all within minutes or hours, maybe a day or two.

    However I have a line, it might not be as quick to reach it as other peoples lines, but it's there and once you step over it, you step into the minefield that is me in pure rage mode, and no one wants to go there, believe me lol.

    One you step on that land mine, you don't survive, and you don't get to know me ever again.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  9. #29
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    mmm...

    sometimes i would have to resort to fisticuffs

    i was a natural as a boxer in college. everything slows down

    once ppl know, they don't really treat u as a doormat

    when it comes to girls, i like looking at them in the eyes as they are somehow wronging me and pretend i dunno anything. so its good imagery when you cut them off. or its something worth yelling at a girl about, i'll tell them to bring their bf or brother around so i can beat them up instead. lolz

  10. #30
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    As I've gotten older and taken care of some of the core issues that held me in the throes of anxiety and depression and other emotional/mood issues - I've naturally started letting things go. It's the damnedest thing, after a while, it just doesn't worry or bother me as much. Or make me as angry.

    I don't even have to will myself to not be angry or tell myself to let it go - intellectually and ethically I may still know I have a right or that I was wronged - I just don't feel emotionally charged up about the issue/matter.

    This is a recent development, say in the last year. I'm still not sure what to make of it.

    It seems like it should be a good thing, but not so sure.

    Caring is the heart of an Fi dom. When I cease to 'care' about something, no longer angry etc. at the thought of it without having resolved the issue - makes me worry just a teensy tiny tad.

    Now if I stayed all "het up" (as another member says) about something and then talked myself off that ledge, that would be one thing.

    But to just let it go emotionally and sub(?)consciously without that kind of "processing" - it seems defeatist. I don't like it.

    Will have to think more about this...
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

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