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  1. #1
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    Default INFPs how comforting are you (and bonus question)?

    Ok so I've been pondering over the description of the INFP personality (as I seem to so often do) and I picked a couple of points that Im wondering about.

    First off, When it comes to comforting other people do you find yourself capable of just jumping out of your shell and helping the first person who needs emotional help in reach? In my case, I'm perfectly willing, and happy to help somebody in need, but its typically restricted to family and close friends, I have a harder time finding the emotional connection with those I hardly know. But those that I do, I'd like to think of myself as a strong emotional support.

    And my second question, I'm quite a loyal person, this is something I've learned about myself more in the past couple years or so and when I consider somebody a close friend I don't want to let go of them. But I often times don't see this reflected from people that I start to become attached to. I'm thinking it is because Im wanting people to commit on the level that I, but maybe its more difficult for others? I'm wondering if any of you have also experienced this.

    This is not a feel sorry thread! (I hope it doesnt read like it) what do you guys think?
    r0wo1 the destroyer of threads has struck again...

  2. #2
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Yep I can agree on all of your points. Take the INFP description with a grain of salt if you ask me.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #3
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    I honestly have no idea whether or not I'm comforting. I tend to be uncomfortable with other people's intense emotions because mine are already incredibly intense. If I care I try and *do* things for them if/when I can't find the right words. I have a hard time being quiet (I know, I'm a rotten INFP :p ), that may have to do with it. If you were to ask me I'd say I'm not very good at comforting people.

    Loyal? Very. Fiercely so. But I tend to be loyal to a body, not a relationship. I might not speak to my sister but I'm still gonna want to rip out the throat of the guy that hurts her. Does that make sense?
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  4. #4
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Not really sure, but since so many people come to me to vent and share their problems I suspect I gotta be at least a little.

    Edit: For your second point, yes I've experienced that, too. My only suggestion is that if you are becoming very attached to someone who isn't reciprocating, ring the alarms and take a breather to reevaluate. When I reflect on times I've done that, the attachment had more to do with my filling a personal need, which sadly didn't reflect on the reality of the situation.

  5. #5
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by r0wo1 View Post
    Ok so I've been pondering over the description of the INFP personality (as I seem to so often do) and I picked a couple of points that Im wondering about.

    First off, When it comes to comforting other people do you find yourself capable of just jumping out of your shell and helping the first person who needs emotional help in reach? In my case, I'm perfectly willing, and happy to help somebody in need, but its typically restricted to family and close friends, I have a harder time finding the emotional connection with those I hardly know. But those that I do, I'd like to think of myself as a strong emotional support.
    I'm the same as you, only with my close circle of family and friends do I feel at ease enough to offer comfort. With people I don't know well, or strangers on the street who are in distress I feel really ill at ease. I would still do it because I hate to see someone in pain, I would just feel really awkward whilst comforting them.

    And my second question, I'm quite a loyal person, this is something I've learned about myself more in the past couple years or so and when I consider somebody a close friend I don't want to let go of them. But I often times don't see this reflected from people that I start to become attached to. I'm thinking it is because Im wanting people to commit on the level that I, but maybe its more difficult for others? I'm wondering if any of you have also experienced this.
    Same here, it pains me to see an unequal loyalty display from the people I have committed myself to, and sadly I often see it. It is of course more to do with them not being made the same way I am, and they place a different value on friendship than what I do, so I try not to take it personally.

    However I often find myself wondering if I should be understanding of how they do things, or if they should be understanding of how I do things? do I accept the lesser committment they are offering just because I better understand why they are different, or am I selling myself short and settling for something unsatisfying?
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

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  6. #6
    heart on fire
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    My attempts to offer comfort are often misunderstood.

  7. #7
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    I'm not very good at comforting. I never know what to say, ever.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    However I often find myself wondering if I should be understanding of how they do things, or if they should be understanding of how I do things? do I accept the lesser committment they are offering just because I better understand why they are different, or am I selling myself short and settling for something unsatisfying?
    Don't sell yourself short. You both should be understanding of each other. If you think the playing field is uneven you should tell the other person.

  9. #9
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    I get compliments above, around and behind me very often for my diplomacy and no bullshit but kind nature. I wish I could comfort myself as often and as easily as I can others.

  10. #10
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    I get compliments above, around and behind me very often for my diplomacy and no bullshit but kind nature. I wish I could comfort myself as often and as easily as I can others.
    SOOO true. Wow... basically took the words out of my mouth right there.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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