I have noticed there are are a whole lot of INTJs looking for their ENFP soulmate (especially on the internet), but it seems that ENFPs usually pass them up. Why is this? Is it because their strong desire of you pushes you away? What do you think?
Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.
... See, I love INTJs and would be totally interested in dating one eventually. I just kind of figured -they- would be the ones organizing things. Remember, we're the ones that get excited about a project but never finish it. There's probably some ENFP out there with half-finished code for an ENFP-INTJ website...
I've always had INTJ friends but I've never dated one. It's a lot of work to get to the creamy center of an INTJ. (which would probably be the hook for an ENFP) In my experience they also give up more easily.
Buddy o mine, ENFP, met an INTJ. He said it was the most important thing in his life. So he made a plan. He would explain to the girl that he had some other people to care for too. And he'd tell her that she was still important to him. I forget exactly what words he said he'd use to explain this to her, I just remember on hearing them, exclaiming, "Yeah, sure, if you want to tear her heart out!"
Cunning plan. Totally honest. Compelling and reasonable.
Looked at in the best possible light, he just hadn't P'd on enough of the world yet. Hadn't seen enough, done enough, touched as many as he might. Scared silly that he'd fuck it up and be raked over his own coals.
But in a lot of ways he's a scared guy to begin with, so I guess he made a suitable choice.
The only thing going for him is he doesn't always lie to her. So she has some kind of chance to begin seeing him for what he is. For a while I kept telling him his best shot was to tell her the truth, all of it, every time, to let her do what she does best.
"I don't want to hurt her," he said.
"You're gonna be really, really surprised what does and doesn't hurt an INTJ," I told him.
That was some months ago. I kept my nose out of the rest of it so I don't know what happened.
Yes, he does represent all of you. You should include something in the next memo.