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Thread: My error

  1. #11
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Absolutely and utterly wrong.

    What you mean is "you can't succeed at something without knowing how to do it". That's different.
    I didn't know that. I always thought you were supposed to know what you were going to do and how before you did something. That's what I've always done before.


    Go try, screw up, fall down, get picked up (whether you ask for it or not) and learn. It's how things progress. No mistakes means you've never tried to do anything.
    Are you sure that's legal?

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I didn't know that. I always thought you were supposed to know what you were going to do and how before you did something. That's what I've always done before.
    Nobody knows exactly how they're going to do something. I remember reading Buckminster Fuller talking about the corridor effect. If you trust yourself and go straight towards what you want corridors will open where walls seemed to be. That's been true for me in my life. ?

  3. #13
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Nobody knows exactly how they're going to do something. I remember reading Buckminster Fuller talking about the corridor effect. If you trust yourself and go straight towards what you want corridors will open where walls seemed to be. That's been true for me in my life. ?
    I think a lot of my problem has stemmed from a model of life I've had for a long time. Most people assume that they can do something unless they're told that they can't. I've always been the opposite, I assume I can't do anything until someone tells me I can, and then I have to make sure I do it right.

    The problem with this model is that while everyone else, since they were kids, have been building up an internal list of things they can't do, I've been building up an internal list of things I CAN do and ways I can do them. Which means if I were to switch models now... I'd make a disproportionate number of obvious mistakes. To the point that I might even end up in prison or a mental hospital for all I know. Maybe I should try anyway... maybe if I end up there, that's where I belong anyway.

  4. #14
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Hrm. Do you feel like you've connected to anyone on this site? Or do you think there is a whole different type of dynamic between reaching out and connecting to people online and doing the same in real life?

  5. #15
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Go try, screw up, fall down, get picked up (whether you ask for it or not) and learn. It's how things progress. No mistakes means you've never tried to do anything.

    Go do. Then analyse and improve.
    Xander is a smart fella.

    Go do.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Athenian, the best thing mom could do to help you is the same thing mother robins do when their babies are big enough but still don't want to fly for whatever reason.

    Now who did you guys say was the f**t smeller around here?
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #17
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    Hrm. Do you feel like you've connected to anyone on this site? Or do you think there is a whole different type of dynamic between reaching out and connecting to people online and doing the same in real life?
    Sure. But it's easier online. There's this whole site full of topics and discussions we can reply to and discuss.

    In real life... there are just too many rules, protocols, and expectations. No opportunities, and very little room to try different things.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja
    Athenian, the best thing mom could do to help you is the same thing mother robins do when their babies are big enough but still don't want to fly for whatever reason.

    Now who did you guys say was the f**t smeller around here?
    She's not going to do that. If anything, she gets nervous and tries to talk me out of it when I suggest something. Besides... I'd probably die of malnutrition or something within a week if she did that without my having any preparation, and she knows that. She couldn't live with it. Not to mention that she's in almost the same situation as myself, and I'm pretty much the only thing that keeps her going. She doesn't really feel like there's any point to her life except me. Kick me out of the nest? Ha. I'm kind of worried she won't let me leave.

    It's very obvious that you use Te... there's very little nuance in your thinking. You see it as all cut and dried, and lump it all in with one idea.

  8. #18
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Sure. But it's easier online. There's this whole site full of topics and discussions we can reply to and discuss.

    In real life... there are just too many rules, protocols, and expectations. No opportunities, and very little room to try different things.
    I agree that it's easier. However, it is at least a sign that you are able to have meaningful connections with other people. It's just the simple everyday encounters that cause you to struggle, and I understand that those are painful (and tedious).

    Have you ever met an online friend in real life? If so, how did that go?

  9. #19
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    I agree that it's easier. However, it is at least a sign that you are able to have meaningful connections with other people. It's just the simple everyday encounters that cause you to struggle, and I understand that those are painful (and tedious).
    Well, it's not like I have everyday encounters. I don't know how to set them up so that I can start to struggle. The way I am in real life... is kind of like not being able to navigate from one web page to another without a reminder of how to a use a link every time I encounter a new one.
    Have you ever met an online friend in real life? If so, how did that go?
    That sounds more like a fantasy than anything that could actually happen. If I could get people I knew online to interact with me or help me out with something in real life... that would likely be a very good thing. It would pretty much bridge the gap enough for me to have a path into real life. I wish it were possible. If I could take even a little of what I have online into real life, nothing could stop me. But... I'm pretty sure it can't happen. For all I know, I'm talking to computer programs and not real people. I've pulled things from real life onto the Internet, but I've never managed to pull anything from the Internet into real life.

  10. #20
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    You are still in the middle of growing up, it is not at all too late. You could learn it even if you were ten years older. It is only the practical implication, how to do it.
    You know many people in the Internet. It would be a good idea to exploit the source you already have: Your Internet connections. A half thing done. If you have working realtionship with your parents, ask them if you can invite an Internet friend to come to stay in your house as your guest. Somebody you know well and who is more extraverted than you, and lives quite near by, and has the opportunity to come. Then you can make the Internet relationship a real life thing. He or she will extravert you. You do not need more than one person to extravert you. After that you can function in the society at large.

    I was extraverted by one person. I used to stand alone in the school yard during recession. There comes this boy to talk to me, from another class. Later I moved to his neighbourhood, when I was twelve. He was very popular, and because I was his friend, I was soon the friend of everybody.

    Xander is right. All you need is a little action.
    There is no way around it.

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