So, I met an INFJ girl recently. Basically I've been really isolated as a foreigner where I am so I kind of started to make a squeaky wheel of myself around other foreigners and she kind of took me up on my offer to hang out. We've hung out twice now. I did pretty much all the talking the first time and a good chunk of it this time (but not all of it, ha!).
I've noticed a few things about her:
1. She's really afraid people won't like her (and why is that exactly? she's SOOO nice. Only stupid people wouldn't like her).
2. She does not usually state directly what she likes or dislikes.
3. She will go really out of her way for another person.
4. Sometimes she feels ignored, hurt, and/or stepped on by other people.
5. She is subtle.
6. She also seems really calm around me, and when I said that and that I liked it she said she only seemed calm when she was uncomfortable.
7. She'll let me interrupt her and keep talking until I've forgotten what my original topic was and then just smile sweetly as I try and backtrack to figure out what the point was supposed to be.
Now considering point 2 and 5 it makes me wonder if point 6 is an indication that she does not enjoy spending time with me or I am not making her feel at ease. Neither are good in my book. But, when I try and troubleshoot, like tell her she doesn't have to be nice, or she can leave if she needs to, or apologize if I think something I said might have been taken the wrong way, *then* she sometimes seems somewhat hurt.
But...she seems so nice to everyone and I know I seem like someone who needs a friend, but I really don't want her to feel like she *needs* to hang out with me because I *need* a friend. Basically, how do I tell if she really does like hanging out with me and if she does than how do I facilitate more of that?