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  1. #11
    Charting a course
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    *RWAWR*!!

    Heya babee...


    Used to hate flirting. Now I have no problem. Anywhere, any time, with anyone.
    I just learned to ignore the blank looks, the derision in voices, and the eww!! faces, and keep moving forward.

    It's rather obvious when someone just plain dislikes you, or is uncomfortable with you flirting with them, at least for me it is.

    I pity the people who dislike it. They are soulless automatons.

  2. #12
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    Man, I'm kinda the opposite; irl I'm okay at flirting, but I suck at it online. Much easier for me to read people when I'm actually talking to them. Smilies can't capture the amount of facial expressions I have at my disposal, lol.

  3. #13
    it's a nuclear device antireconciler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    I pity the people who dislike it. They are soulless automatons.
    Which is a lot of people! I've noticed though (bc I was watching) ... ppl like to partition their lives and are often uncomfortable with the idea that they have human bodies and sexual desires except in specific contexts.

    It's kind of the same as the fear of stalkers. People like to have control with their minds, and make everything categorized and mechanical and based of functions. Unfortunately, even if rational, any kind of love or affection is anti-analytical and slops over every barrier.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neo Genesis View Post
    Man, I'm kinda the opposite; irl I'm okay at flirting, but I suck at it online. Much easier for me to read people when I'm actually talking to them. Smilies can't capture the amount of facial expressions I have at my disposal, lol.
    Yes! Because online it's so much more ambiguous so even flirting doesn't feel like flirting because no one is really exposed. It's always easier to flirt when you're behind something protective like an internet, but then, just as you can be safe behind this shield because only a smaller amount of you is showing, it's HARD TO GET THROUGH IT at the same time, for the same reason. Flirting is like soliciting yourself. How can you do that well when you can't really show very much of you?
    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by antireconciler View Post
    Which is a lot of people! I've noticed though (bc I was watching) ... ppl like to partition their lives and are often uncomfortable with the idea that they have human bodies and sexual desires except in specific contexts.

    It's kind of the same as the fear of stalkers. People like to have control with their minds, and make everything categorized and mechanical and based of functions. Unfortunately, even if rational, any kind of love or affection is anti-analytical and slops over every barrier.


    I pity the people who dislike it. They are soulless automatons.
    Yeah, I was being facetious. I realize some people are like that.

    Of course, in a public setting I think many people look at any sign of more than a passing interest as bizarre. Societal conditioning in my opinion.

  5. #15
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Hmmm, I've dated at least 2 INFPs and they are both very flirtatious. The first one intentionally flirts but can take it too far and has caused situations for herself.

    The other INFP flirts like crazy but denies she is flirting. Other people are always interpreting her flirting as interest and it leads to situations escalating and/or other unwanted (she says) consequences. Or else she says her flirting is 'obviously joking' and no one should take it seriously.

    In both cases I chalk this up to immaturity - either in the general sense or immaturity of function development? I would say Ne in this case is NOT helping them out, but then, Ne is really directed super outwards and you are directly in its blindspot. For whatever reason they can't see their own behavior and can't see two steps ahead of the obvious.

    BTW, dating people like this ^^ causes many moments.

    The third INFP I know is super shy and non-assertive so she doesn't flirt. If someone shows her interest she may show approval by talking more to them or picking up her energy levels.

    Another INFP I know is also super quiet...I have no idea how she would flirt or if she does. I would imagine she just shows her interest by asking a lot of questions.

    The INFP that I lived with, I don't think she "flirts", she acts like she normally acts with her friends - silly and joking and interested -but x2.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #16
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    What is with the flirters who say they "don't flirt" My ISTJ sister does that.

    /back OT

  7. #17
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    What is with the flirters who say they "don't flirt" My ISTJ sister does that.

    /back OT
    Not sure how many NF's involved in this study...but....
    Everyone agrees: Women are hard to read - Women's health- msnbc.com
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  8. #18
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuranes View Post
    Not sure how many NF's involved in this study...but....
    Everyone agrees: Women are hard to read - Women's health- msnbc.com
    lol. It's because women are a lot more...varied than men.

    I know that my ExFP sister says I flirt sometimes but I don't think so. I'm usually being nice and talking. But, it's given me ample reason to be paranoid that I'd flirting on accident with people who don't want to be flirted with and that's why some guys seem to talk to me once and then never again. I usually can't tell when someone is flirting with me or showing interest. Unless I've got an S friend around I'm usually oblivious. They have to be obvious an of course when they are I go like this .
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
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  9. #19
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Apparently I'm dead flirty. I don't see it. It's not an immaturity thing, I really just don't see when some one is interested in me. Which is quite bizzare when you think I can walk into a room and figure out who will hook up with who, in less than five minutes. Just can't see who's interested in me.
    So Cze Cze, you are right it is a major blind spot.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #20
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    ^^ You know, I think this is partly because of the low self-confidence or humility of a lot of INFPs. I don't think you can even bring yourself to imagine that anyone would be into you. So you totally misread the signs people give you that they are obviously interested. I think just telling yourself, "Yeah, I'm totally crush-worthy and it's very likely and possible that someone tonight will be interested in me" --> I think that may help a lot?

    BTW - regardless of the reasons, dating people who flirt "unintentionally" is extremely irritating, especially when that behavior causes people to interlope and cause drama, it's just not cute. If you're single it's one thing, but if you're involved with someone (or some people) it causes A LOT of problems.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

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