[ENFJ] Do ENFJs Have Difficulty Remembering?

[Shaula]

Do ENFJs have difficulty remembering things despite their J? I ask this because this happens frequently in conversations with one of my good ENFJ friends. Here's an example...

Her: How are you?
Me: I'm pretty good. Had a very stuffing Thanksgiving and had a 'family reunion' over the speaker phone. How was your Turkey Day?
Her: Family reunion? How so?
Me: Oh I called some family on the phone and we shared our list of things we're grateful for.
Her: Oh! Will you send me your address so I can ship you an X-mas gift?
Me: Certainly. By the way, you have this awful habit of not repling to my questions. I asked you how was your Turkey Day.
Her: Oh oops. [She tells me about her Thanksgiving.] Oh ha ha, also what is your size? Shirts? Pants?

 

[alexx]

I do that sometimes when I'm intensely focused on something, but I'm an ENFP. I'll not hear, not PROCESS rather, their questions and keep trying to obtain the info I'm looking for. If I don't get it quickly I will forget and then its lost for 5 days until I remember, if at all.

 

[Brendan]

I have a hard time remembering to do things I don't want to do.

 

[The Third Rider]

My memory is pretty good.

 

[Domino]

Actually, I'm just the opposite to the OP. I have horrifying elephant-like retention and clarity, pock-marked with small gaps (what things/people/events my brain chooses to toss out seems wholly arbitrary to me).

I've had difficulty remembering things lately because I'm overworked and under a great deal of stress, so the gaps are popping up in the form of present-tense mental blanks. I'll be standing there grappling with white noise trying to get my train of thought back with only limited success. It's frustrating in the extreme.

I rely heavily on my memory. I haven't had this much trouble with it since I was a teenage mechanic and under ridiculous pressure.

 

[Kalach]

*sigh*.

It's not because they have bad memories, it's because they're ENFJ.

An ENFJ is E, so she's in her element when she's talking to someone. Furthermore, she's Fe Dom, so she's directive. And you're INTJ so you're directive too, but it's Te directions, not F. In conversation, her directive nature trumps your directive nature.

For an INTJ, in general, an ENFJ can't hear you when you speak.

 

[Domino]

*sigh*.

It's not because they have bad memories, it's because they're ENFJ.

An ENFJ is E, so she's in her element when she's talking to someone. Furthermore, she's Fe Dom, so she's directive. And you're INTJ so you're directive too, but it's Te directions, not F. In conversation, her directive nature trumps your directive nature.

For an INTJ, in general, an ENFJ can't hear you when you speak.

Dunno about that! My INTJ bff are constantly having a meeting of the minds. He and I "get" each other very well cognitively. I know he uses Te and I use Fe (polar opposites) but I think our mutual Ni and strong Js make communication easy. I don't know how well I'd get on romantically with an INTJ, but as friends, we rock. I believe the INTJ falls into the "tribesman" category with me?

 

[Kalach]

Dunno about that! My INTJ bff are constantly having a meeting of the minds. He and I "get" each other very well cognitively. I know he uses Te and I use Fe (polar opposites) but I think our mutual Ni and strong Js make communication easy. I don't know how well I'd get on romantically with an INTJ, but as friends, we rock. I believe the INTJ falls into the "tribesman" category with me?

Yeah, it's supposed to be like that, with the mutual Ni. But with both being directive, both are more satisfied in interactions if they can guide.

For ENFJs and INTJs, it's a crapshoot. Probably some can fall into a satisfactory habit of sometimes exchanging the direct and flex roles, but definitely some can't, and the dice is loaded on the ENFJ side.

Same thing for INFJs talking to ENTJs.

 

[Domino]

I'm very willing to defer to his ideas if they sound better than mine. I think we have a better give and take than most because I respect him and he respects me, and it's never about getting the top spot.

However, having said that, I do see your point. He and our male ENFJ friend sometimes seem to be wrestling each other verbally. Maybe my female energy tones it down?

 

[Kalach]

We're skirting the real issue, of course.

Sex.


Or more exactly, those times where there is some issue of substantial intimate concern to BOTH at the same time.

 

[Domino]

We're skirting the real issue, of course.

Sex.


Or more exactly, those times where there is some issue of substantial intimate concern to BOTH at the same time.

Ooooo, I see. You were involved with an ENFJ?

 

[WithoutaFace]

ENFJs rock.

 

[Kalach]

Ooooo, I see. You were involved with an ENFJ?

Ooo, you directive beast, you! You were supposed to blush and move on to the obvious conclusion that INTJs and ENFJs work great with sharing Ni on ideas, and ideas alone. So long as neither is the boss, it's a great intellectual relationship.

But no-o-o!




Be still, my jerking knee.

 

[Domino]

LOL! Sassy for a panda baby! *shakes head* No more bamboo smoothies for this one!

 

[Tallulah]

Based upon the dialogue snippet in the OP, I wouldn't blame it on bad memory. "How was your Turkey Day?" kinda sounds rhetorical, to me. I mean, I'd answer it if there was nothing else to talk about, but if we'd moved onto something more interesting, I certainly wouldn't go, "Oh, yeah, dude asked me about Turkey Day, better go back and fill in that gap!"

 

[SpottingTrains]

Sounds not so much as a memory issue but more along the lines of her just wanting to talk about you and not so much herself.

As far as my memory goes I couldn't ask for much more. I am a fact junkie, especially when it comes to movies My logical reasoning on the other hand has been consistently improved since what I take in school is almost based on pure logic, definitely wasn't one of my smartest decisions

 

[AStrange~Nostalgia]

Do ENFJs have difficulty remembering things despite their J? I ask this because this happens frequently in conversations with one of my good ENFJ friends. Here's an example...

Her: How are you?
Me: I'm pretty good. Had a very stuffing Thanksgiving and had a 'family reunion' over the speaker phone. How was your Turkey Day?
Her: Family reunion? How so?
Me: Oh I called some family on the phone and we shared our list of things we're grateful for.
Her: Oh! Will you send me your address so I can ship you an X-mas gift?
Me: Certainly. By the way, you have this awful habit of not repling to my questions. I asked you how was your Turkey Day.
Her: Oh oops. [She tells me about her Thanksgiving.] Oh ha ha, also what is your size? Shirts? Pants?

Or maybe they were concentrating and didn't notice that question. For me if I was text messaging I would go over and read to fill in any thing that I left , after I finish the topic I'm concerned with . Just like our ENFP friend said.

 

[ceecee]

Not in the way the OP describes but ask them where their phone/wallet/keys are. The most perplexing part of this is that it happens almost daily. Even when you, their loving INTJ creates a place for all their stuff (docking station that was not cheap, btw), nope no ENFJ stuff anywhere in sight.

 

[spirilis]

Not in the way the OP describes but ask them where their phone/wallet/keys are. The most perplexing part of this is that it happens almost daily. Even when you, their loving INTJ creates a place for all their stuff (docking station that was not cheap, btw), nope no ENFJ stuff anywhere in sight.

Oh goodness, now that you mention it....... my wife loses things all the time. I probably should be one to lose things but my (suspecting ISTJ) dad drilled it into me at an early age, "if you put things the same place every time, you'll never lose them" so I have a strange, awkward and usually non-sensical place for every thing of mine (which drives my wife nuts since it's not even remotely organized but I always know where things are, which prompts the ironic thought that she loses things anyway even if things are organized).