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  1. #1
    Te > Fi > Ni Shaula's Avatar
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    Default Do ENFJs Have Difficulty Remembering?

    Do ENFJs have difficulty remembering things despite their J? I ask this because this happens frequently in conversations with one of my good ENFJ friends. Here's an example...

    Her: How are you?
    Me: I'm pretty good. Had a very stuffing Thanksgiving and had a 'family reunion' over the speaker phone. How was your Turkey Day?
    Her: Family reunion? How so?
    Me: Oh I called some family on the phone and we shared our list of things we're grateful for.
    Her: Oh! Will you send me your address so I can ship you an X-mas gift?
    Me: Certainly. By the way, you have this awful habit of not repling to my questions. I asked you how was your Turkey Day.
    Her: Oh oops. [She tells me about her Thanksgiving.] Oh ha ha, also what is your size? Shirts? Pants?
    Is not to be held accuntable for peeling errors.

  2. #2
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    I do that sometimes when I'm intensely focused on something, but I'm an ENFP. I'll not hear, not PROCESS rather, their questions and keep trying to obtain the info I'm looking for. If I don't get it quickly I will forget and then its lost for 5 days until I remember, if at all.

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
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  3. #3
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    I have a hard time remembering to do things I don't want to do.
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  4. #4
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    My memory is pretty good.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  5. #5
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Actually, I'm just the opposite to the OP. I have horrifying elephant-like retention and clarity, pock-marked with small gaps (what things/people/events my brain chooses to toss out seems wholly arbitrary to me).

    I've had difficulty remembering things lately because I'm overworked and under a great deal of stress, so the gaps are popping up in the form of present-tense mental blanks. I'll be standing there grappling with white noise trying to get my train of thought back with only limited success. It's frustrating in the extreme.

    I rely heavily on my memory. I haven't had this much trouble with it since I was a teenage mechanic and under ridiculous pressure.
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  6. #6
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    *sigh*.

    It's not because they have bad memories, it's because they're ENFJ.

    An ENFJ is E, so she's in her element when she's talking to someone. Furthermore, she's Fe Dom, so she's directive. And you're INTJ so you're directive too, but it's Te directions, not F. In conversation, her directive nature trumps your directive nature.

    For an INTJ, in general, an ENFJ can't hear you when you speak.

  7. #7
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    *sigh*.

    It's not because they have bad memories, it's because they're ENFJ.

    An ENFJ is E, so she's in her element when she's talking to someone. Furthermore, she's Fe Dom, so she's directive. And you're INTJ so you're directive too, but it's Te directions, not F. In conversation, her directive nature trumps your directive nature.

    For an INTJ, in general, an ENFJ can't hear you when you speak.
    Dunno about that! My INTJ bff are constantly having a meeting of the minds. He and I "get" each other very well cognitively. I know he uses Te and I use Fe (polar opposites) but I think our mutual Ni and strong Js make communication easy. I don't know how well I'd get on romantically with an INTJ, but as friends, we rock. I believe the INTJ falls into the "tribesman" category with me?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  8. #8
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Dunno about that! My INTJ bff are constantly having a meeting of the minds. He and I "get" each other very well cognitively. I know he uses Te and I use Fe (polar opposites) but I think our mutual Ni and strong Js make communication easy. I don't know how well I'd get on romantically with an INTJ, but as friends, we rock. I believe the INTJ falls into the "tribesman" category with me?
    Yeah, it's supposed to be like that, with the mutual Ni. But with both being directive, both are more satisfied in interactions if they can guide.

    For ENFJs and INTJs, it's a crapshoot. Probably some can fall into a satisfactory habit of sometimes exchanging the direct and flex roles, but definitely some can't, and the dice is loaded on the ENFJ side.

    Same thing for INFJs talking to ENTJs.

  9. #9
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm very willing to defer to his ideas if they sound better than mine. I think we have a better give and take than most because I respect him and he respects me, and it's never about getting the top spot.

    However, having said that, I do see your point. He and our male ENFJ friend sometimes seem to be wrestling each other verbally. Maybe my female energy tones it down?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  10. #10
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    We're skirting the real issue, of course.

    Sex.


    Or more exactly, those times where there is some issue of substantial intimate concern to BOTH at the same time.

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