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  1. #1
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    Default To NF males, what's the deal with this guy?

    OK here is the situation, someone I met on the way to work traveling, says he wants to help me out and has been going way out of his way to help me.
    At first I was sure that he has some sort of thing for me, then he went on to tell me, don't think that I have some sort of thing for you etc. I am just trying to help, because if I were in your situation I would have wanted someone to help me etc.
    But then every time we talk he somehow steers the conversation to what goes on at work, and if guys at work are hitting on me and stuff, and be dropping comments like, cause you are so pretty etc, it would be hard not to be flattered and enjoy flirting...
    Then I'll say something like thats not the case, that people know I'm married and so on, and that they know their boundries.
    I mean I try to be nonchalant, but I still don't know whats up with this guy.
    He'll go back and say again that hes not trying to flirt with me but then go back and say weird stuff like if you ever want to go out and party and go crazy I can give you a ride to so and so a place.
    I don't know what to think about all this.
    On the one hand he had me convinced for awhile that he really just does mean well, and just wants to help me out, but then he'll say weird stuff or compliment me or say how I should be careful about sexual harassment at work and so on. Is this like a brotherly type thing, or what, I mean I have really high intuition, but this guy has got to be NF so I can't figure out if hes being real or has some hidden agenda.
    NFs what do you think?
    Maybe he just enjoys talking to me? cause I'm a good conversationalist?
    Am I being paranoid?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    He's hitting on you.

  3. #3
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    He sounds like a real weasel to me. Tell him to fuck off, cause he's hitting on you for sure and he sounds like a pedo. Seriously, just reading that creeped the hell out of me.

    He's right about the sexual harrasment at work though... sounds like the kind of guy who's been fired for it.

    Creeper!

  4. #4
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    Ok 2 strikes out!!

    I just don't know what to do, cause I can't tell him to just f**k off as he would get really offended, maybe he has himself convinced that he means well?
    Even though he doesn't?
    and he is kinda like in my residential area, he's married with kids about my age.

    Like when I initially thought he was hitting on me, he had my number and he called me, and I wasn't very friendly,(cause I was weirded out that hes calling me) but then later when we talked in person he was like I heard from your voice that you thought I had bad intentions etc., then went on to reassure me that thats totally not the case etc.

    OK how about next time he offers me help, I'll just say, I have it worked out or something??

    Thanks guys for the objective input.

  5. #5
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Mixed signals? I'd guess he likes you and is doing a poor job of holding himself back since you are married.

    You were probably right not to go to the party with him, though. My default position is that if your intuition is sending a red flag about this guy, you would be wise to listen to it. Keep it work related only.

  6. #6
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    Mixed signals? I'd guess he likes you and is doing a poor job of holding himself back since you are married.

    You were probably right not to go to the party with him, though. My default position is that if your intuition is sending a red flag about this guy, you would be wise to listen to it. Keep it work related only.
    Thanks udog!

    but no, you got the situation all wrong, he doesn't work with me, he just decides to talk to me about my work environment and asks me stuff like do the men at work hit on you, or does your boss hit on you,etc

    He's a guy that lives in my neighborhood , and we get back from work on certain days at the same time and meet at the bus stop...
    I just don't want to do the wrong thing and hurt his feelings especially if he really did just mean to help me. Can someone really care so much for a persons well being can someone really be so nice? I mean there are people like that, but why would he be so nice to me? I still don't know what to think.

    Thats whats weird is that hes calling me at work and stuff and asking me if things are ok ,if I need anything, stuff like that, then I will be nonchalant and friendly and the conversation lasts like a minute or two.

    Oh well still confused but yeah probably to be on the safe side, say I'm fine and that I don't need anything....

    Oh and he didn't say to go to a party with him, he just made some totally out of the blue comment saying, how I would probably like to go party and let loose, like in connection that I work to much I guess, but he never said to go with him he just offered to drive me there and back?

    And I was like, no, I can't do that, I have work and studies and no time and I was just friendly about it as if that wasn't totally weird to tell me that he would offer to drive me somewhere (rather far) so that I should go party and go crazy... weird.
    I don't know, some people are really hard to figure out.
    I don't like thinking badly of people but it just seems like no one can be that nice... just because.

  7. #7
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Heh, make less excuses for the guy and listen to your intuition.

    He may be a good guy, but that doesn't change the fact that he is pretty weird and doesn't seem to be respecting your boundaries.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    Maybe he is just trying to be nice, but has a hard time figuring out what other people's boundaries are. That is a definite possibility if he's an NF.
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  9. #9
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    If he gets really offended when you tell him to get lost and he starts saying he has no bad intentions, call him on it. Ask him exactly what his intentions are and why. There's a good chance he'll lie (in all the cases of such creepers I can think of they would maintain their innocent intentions), but just continue to absolutely interrogate him if you need to untill it's established what he wants/says he wants and that you are not cool with it. Then explain that you are sorry but that doesn't work for you and you are uncomfortable with his creepy conversations and then just cut him loose. Do you really care if you offend this guy?

  10. #10
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    He shouldn't be meeting you at the bus stop if you didn't ask him to. He is creepy.

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